Choose your own adventure thread

[thedude33]

You are standing in the antechamber to a mysterious tomb. The light from your torch reveals two doors ahead of you - one on the left, and one on the right.

To enter the door on the right go to No. 3

To enter the door on the left go to No. 2

 

[Jntg4]

I go to No. 3

 

[thedude33]

2. You enter the room and are immediately eaten by a lion. Your remains are digested by the lion two days later and will found be found by a graduate student on a archeology expedition decades later. However, the grad student mistakenly believes your bones to belong to Early Man and writes a his thesis on the finding. His teacher awards the grad student an F- for his efforts.

 

[thedude33]

3. You enter a room that appears to be an ancient bathroom. There is a privy, a mirror and a large bath.

To turn on the bath, go to 5

To look in the mirror go to 7

To flush the toilet go to 6

 

[thedude33]

5. You turn on the bath, water fills the tub but a poisonous snake comes out of the drain and bites you on your dick! The snake slithers back down the drain. The poison is taking affect, you have only moments to find someone to suck the poison out of your dick.

To flush the toilet, go to 6

To look in the mirror go to 7

 

[thedude33]

6. You flush the toilet. You hear a crack of a small explosion behind you. When the smoke clears, there stands Clay Mathews fully nude. "I'll suck your dick, man," says Clay.

To let Clay suck your dick, go to 10

To refuse Clay's advances go to 9

 

[thedude33]

7. You look in the Mirror, there appears the image of B.J. Raji. "Answer my question correctly and I'll grant you three wishes," says Raji. "Answer it incorrectly and Clay Mathews will rape you. Here is my question: Why how *** are Green Bay fans."

To answer "they are so ***, they like the Packers" go to 8

To answer "they are so ***, they walk like a bunch of gays" go to 10

To answer "they are so ***, they are pretty much gayer than Vikings fans" go to 9

 

[thedude33]

9. Clay Mathews rapes you, and not in a nice date rape kind of way. You leave the tomb, feeling used. If only Clay was dressed like a pirate, then it would have been easier to accept his rape

 

[thedude33]

9. B.J. grants you three wishes but not after he and Clay Mathews double rape you. You feel so bad you waste your wishes on draft picks for the Bears. But as it turns out, the draft picks are awesome and the Bears go on to win back-to-back Super Bowls! Congrats!

 

[thedude33]

10. Clay sucks your dick. Although you feel better, and you made no eye contact with him, it's still pretty ***. You leave the tomb hoping no one finds out about this.

 

[Jntg4]

Lol

 

[EnjoyYourTiger]

:smh:

 

[Jntg4]

:smh:

What? Everything he said about the Packers was true...

 

[Jysen]

10. Clay sucks your dick. Although you feel better, and you made no eye contact with him, it's still pretty ***. You leave the tomb hoping no one finds out about this.

10b. BigP goes insane out of jealousy over your encounter with his Fiance and dryhumps your leg till the the shock eventually gives you a heart attack. The End.

 

[DewsSox79]

this thread is funny

 

[Jntg4]

When does the adventure continue?

 

[thedude33]

I'm waiting for a book deal.

 

[X]

dude thinks he's a damn swimsuit model.