CRM Ruins Movies: Home Alone 2

CRM 114

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Please be advised that the following content may contain spoilers for the following movie(s):

  • Home Alone
  • Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Like the McAlisters, I also live in Chicagoland and I have never seen a commercial for the Plaza Hotel. Heck I can’t ever remember seeing one for any individual hotel. Maybe these ads only get played on the North Shore where people can actually afford to stay at the Plaza Hotel.

Kevin planned this whole thing out from the start. Think about it, he starts by saying how he hates going to Florida for Christmas because there’s no Christmas trees there. Then he says that if he had his own money, he’d go on a trip all by himself and have a great time. At the airport, he makes a big deal about needing batteries for his tape recorder or whatever as they’re trying to get to the gate. He then purposely lags behind the family under the guise of putting batteries into his gizmo. Remember, Kevin had to have heard his father tell Buzz the gate number. He was pretending not to listen but he was so when he came to the concourse split he knew to go in the opposite direction as his sick twisted family. He then intentionally runs into the gate attendant then acts like his boarding pass is missing. They let him on because I guess that’s how they did things pre 9/11 so long as he sees his dad. Quick on his toes, Kevin points out some poor bastard and says that’s my dad. He then puts on his headphones and enjoys some much needed alone time. When he lands, he even pretends to call out for his family, knowing damn well that no one will answer. Similarly, he even interrupts one of the airport workers when she’s on the phone to act surprised that he’s in New York to cover his tracks. Remember if he was able to come up with such an elaborate plan to torture the Wet Bandits in the first movie, he could certainly cook something like this up.

I can’t believe after the events of last year that it didn’t occur to either Peter or Kate to check coach for Kevin. Also when pressed why they weren’t all sitting together, Kate says they’re lucky to get tickets on the same plane at that time of year yet she and her husband were somehow able to secure seats next to each other.

Peter and Kate may have lost Kevin TWICE but at least they didn’t get 300,000 Americans killed like the guy who showed Kevin where the lobby is did.

Kevin sure got a lot done in NYC in a couple of hours.

I love how the Wet Bandits not only just happen to be in New York City at the same time as Kevin but they happen to be in literally the same part of the nation’s largest city as Kevin. Give me a f***ing break!

Salvation Army buckets usually have a lid on them to prevent people from stealing the money in them

Rob Schneider is in this movie

I know whenever my dad made a hotel reservation he always made sure to identify himself as the father. “Hello, I’m Mr. CRM, the father”. And I’m sure whomever was on the other side of the line didn’t think this was odd at all.

Harry and Marv escape from prison and need to score some quick cash so they can leave the country and they decide they have time to go ice skating in Central Park? Seriously? Didn’t they do enough ice skating in the first movie? Also I love how they they decide to rob the exact same toy store that Kevin randomly ends up at.

Why does the concierge have a master key? Furthermore, when he’s chasing Kevin into his room, he enters the room and proclaims “This is the concierge, sir!” as if this is some sort of big shot job position. If this guy ever gets pulled over for a DUI, he’s going to stumble out of the car drunkenly saying “I’m a hall of fame concierge person!”

Good thing Kevin is always able to rewind and fast forward to the exact moment he needs

Lol, of course Kevin and the Wet Sticky Bandits run into the same woman that Marv hit on earlier. New York City is much smaller than I remember it. This movie is so full of ridiculous “coincidences” it makes my brane hurt.

I love how Marv is convinced that some kid with glasses is Kevin. Also love how the kid just has a blank expression on his face instead of, I don’t know, screaming or fighting back or something.

Why would It’s a Wonderful Life be in Spanish when they’re in Florida? I know Miami has a high Hispanic population but I would think the movie would still be in English. This just feels like such a lazy copypasta from the first movie.

How does Marv not notice the paint on the ground?

Marv trips in the paint and despite being on level ground, slides all the way into the shelf.

Kevin’s plans leave a lot to chance. What if Marv sees the paint on the floor and doesn’t trip on it? Then he doesn’t need to use the sink and therefore isn’t electrocuted. Kevin is sitting right there with no way out. It’s probable that Marv walks right past him, sees him and snatches him.

OF F***ING COURSE HIS MOM SHOWS UP RIGHT AFTER HE BEGGED GOD TO SEE HER! Gosh I feel like I’m repeating myself so much. Worst movie ending ever! Seriously!

How did Mr Duncan know Kevin was staying at the Plaza Hotel? Is the Plaza Hotel the only hotel that exists in this movie’s weird version of NYC?

Gosh Peter has some preppy pipes in order for him to yell loud enough for Kevin to hear him all the way from Central Park. There’s a Peter Piper joke in there somewhere.

This and The Hangover Part II have to be the two most blatant examples of a sequel following the original frame by frame just in a different city.
 

ytsejam

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I hereby demand this movie be launched into the sun whereas it will herby be vaporized!
 

Wild_x_Card

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Story time with WxC: last December my bae got us tickets to a viewing/ live score of the O.G home alone with the Milwaukee symphony orchestra.

We got our pregame on at our favorite watering hole with friends so went with a buzz. I, proceeded to get hammered off of theater wine.

Passed out from the heat about 2/3 through in combination with the buzz. You all know this type of heat very well. Like being in 6th grade and fighting to keep your eyes open from the permeating warmth of the radiators.

Crop-dusted half our section (allegedly) with a masterful sulfuric pew.

I slept on the couch that nite?‍♂️
 

MDB111™

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Story time with WxC: last December my bae got us tickets to a viewing/ live score of the O.G home alone with the Milwaukee symphony orchestra.

We pre got our pregame on at our favorite watering hole with friends so went with a buzz. I, proceeded to get hammered off of theater wine.

Passed out from the heat about 2/3 through in combination with the buzz. You all know this type of heat very well. Like being in 6th grade and fighting to keep your eyes open from the permeating warmth of the radiators.

Crop-dusted half our section (allegedly) with a masterful sulfuric pew.

I slept on the couch that nite?‍♂️
Holy crap that's great.
 

MDB111™

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Glad you think so. You should have been my date. She wasn't impressed. I still can't bring it up in light hearted manner without getting "the look."

One time I farted in church. It was right at communion time. So it was real quiet. The entire church heard it. I was mortified so I pointed at my classmate. And he was like "you mfer, that was you!"
 

Wild_x_Card

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One time I farted in church. It was right at communion time. So it was real quiet. The entire church heard it. I was mortified so I pointed at my classmate. And he was like "you mfer, that was you!"
Hahaha. The old pass the blame game. That was my jam in school. The beautiful irony of pewing in pews.
 

zack54attack

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Kevin's Dad has a client familiar with the Plaza Hotel.. maybe that's why they accepted the card so quick.

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:what:
 

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