Fuck the Cardinals, and fuck St. Louis in general.
St. Louis is not a good city. Fuck the St. Louis Cardinals. Fuck your iconic little ballpark which has been rebuilt 3 times with the same shit name. Fuck the Anheuser-Busch company, and fuck Budweiser. Fuck St. Louis University. Fuck all of Missouri, but in particular, St. Louis. I have some friends who live in St. Louis, I would not want them to read this and get the wrong idea, but fuck St. Louis.
Most importantly here's the focal point of this OP: Fuck the St. Louis Cardinals. Fuck people wearing Cardinals gear. Fuck the Cardinals undeserved underdog attitude. Fuck the Cardinals radio broadcast that infects all the surrounding states with your shitty team. Fuck Yadier Molina, and his 15 brothers. Fuck Adam Wainwright. Fuck Tony La Russa, and fuck Mark McGwire. You know what? Fuck Darryl Kile, too. Get over it.
Most importantly, fuck "The Best Fans In Baseball" you smug, condescending little fucks. I saw a Cardinals fan yesterday and l just lost it. Fucking smug prick. I was eating an outside lunch at this nice little restaurant. and he was sitting eating some fucking salad. Salad. Typical fucking Tardinals fan. He was there with his stupid Tardinals fan wife who of course was eating a fucking salad too.
Jesus Christ I hate Cardinals fans so much.
I could tell he thought he was part of the best fans in baseball. He didn't say anything. but the way that stupid prick was chewing. Jesus Christ. He had a fucking Cardinals t-shirt on. I bet you he bought it at the team store like a fucking schmuck. He and the fucking stupid cashier probably had this big self-satisfactory exchange. "I'd like to buy this best t-shirt in baseball with the best money in baseball please". I couldn't fucking believe this asshole. He just kept going at this fucking salad like he's king of the world.
I just tried to ignore that attention seeking asshat but he just kept at it. Every time I looked away he'd conveniently grab for his water or some fucking passive aggressive bullshit so that it would draw my eyes to him. LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME BEST FAN IN BASEBALL RIGHT HERE. Jesus.
You should have seen his wife. What a bitch. The waitress came by to ask them how their food was and she relayed how fucking satisfied she was in the most smug way possible. This fucking fake-politeness Cardinals fans put on is ridiculous.
Next thing I know that guy pulls out his phone and starts texting. Are you fucking shitting me? I bet he just had to text his stupid friend all about his fucking salad was almost as good as being in baseball nirvana. FUCK. THE. CARDINALS.
I hate that my pirates are eliminated. I hate that it was the Cubs that did it. But I hate the Cardinals so much more. So please Cubs, for the love of everything that is PURE and TRUE in this sport, beat the fucking Cardinals.
I guess this is my "go Cubs go"...
