Funny Dumb Laws

[bri]

I came across these when I was checking to see if something was illegal. Here are a few of my favorites that made me chuckle. I'm sure some may have been on the books for years and are not enforced. These are all I had time for right now, but I'll add more later. Please feel free to add your own.



Chicago



It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.

(How often would one have the occasion to do that?)



Montana



It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.





Oklahoma



Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s hamburger.

(My peeps and I would be getting busted all the time cause we share stuff)



It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.

(Is is legal if they are really having sex with a buffalo?)





Alabama



Incestuous marriages are legal.



Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

(This boggles the mind that they are more worried about boogers than incest.)





Arkansas



A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.



A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. (WTF)

 

[ytsejam]

I had a whole book of stuff like this. I might still have it.

I will post a few if I can find it.

 

[sth]

Are there a lot of giraffes in Chicago? I love that Montana law, I always tell people about that. By the way everyone knows bar buffaloes are total teases.

 

[Tater]

Arkansas, here I come.

 

[jakobeast]

Hey Bri, what were you trying to find out to see if it was legal?

 

[bri]

Hey Bri, what were you trying to find out to see if it was legal?

If I can drive barefoot.

 

[jakobeast]

Or were you looking to see if it is legal to give a foot job?

 

[bri]

Or were you looking to see if it is legal to give a foot job?

Well, there is that spot on my foot that drives me wild. Actually, same spot on both feet. A girl needs to know her options.

 

[ytsejam]

I found the book!



"In Memphis, it is against the law for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of the car waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians."

 

[ytsejam]

"In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back."



"According to Kentucky state law, every person must take a bath at least once a year."



"International Falls, Minnesota, forbids cats to chase dogs up telephone poles."

 

[ytsejam]

"Washington, DC, says that no one shall engage in a pugilistic encounter with a bull."



"In Seattle, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length."



"If a Dixie, Idaho, lady berates her husband in public causing a crowd to collect, the husband shall be fined."

 

[bri]

Champaign, Il



One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth. (So is it OK if they aren't your neighbor)





Alabama



You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.





Vermont



At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.

(Am I missing something? Did giraffes once roam wild here?)





Oregon



You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.

 

[sth]

The Illinois one makes sense, you don't want to pee in your neighbors mouth cause you'll see them a lot after. Should be a stranger. The Alabama one is reasonable don't want it to melt. I don't get the giraffes either unless there is an underground giraffe society here. Jam's Idaho law makes sense they are very particular about their guns being a bunch of crazy survivalists. But the Oregon one is bullshit. It's our god given American right to eat doughnuts however way we want, they are the food of the gods.

 

[jaxhawksfan]

If I can drive barefoot.

I have always heard it is illegal. What did you find? Why would you want to?

 

[jaxhawksfan]

Well, there is that spot on my foot that drives me wild. Actually, same spot on both feet. A girl needs to know her options.

Did you look at the reflexology chart to see what part of your body it corresponds to? Could be a direct link to your girly bits.

 

[bri]

West Virginia



It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.





It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.





South Carolina



Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.



Missouri



It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.

 

[sth]

West Virginia



It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.





It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.





South Carolina



Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.



Missouri



It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.

That seems kind of unfair to the little animals. A guys thing could do a lot of damage to a little animal. These states seem to have a lot of ground rules laid out for how to beat your wife. I think a lot of these animal laws like the elephant one must be related to stuff the circus did in the day.

 

[bri]

Idaho



Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.





A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.







Rhode Island



Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.

(Lucky for you Lois Griffin)





You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

 

[sth]

Bri is 50 lbs of candy appealing to a lady? Or is it overkill? The best thing about giving your sweetheart a present in Idaho if they don't like it you can call the cops on them for not smiling. God knows what someone would do with a toothbrush and toothpaste. If Peter was out Brian and Quagmiere would compete for the chance to hook up with Lois. Giggity!!!

 

[bri]

California



Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.



It is illegal to molest butterflies.



It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.



San Francisco



Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.





Persons classified as “ugly” may not walk down any street.