Lolgasms

[CODE_BLUE56]

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, no realizing that the boy is in there already.

The little boy says,"Dark in here."

The man/lover says,"Yes,it is."

The little boy says,"I have a baseball..."

Man:"Thats nice"

Boy:"Wanna buy it?"

Man:"No, thanks."

Boy:"My dad's outside."

Man:"OK, how much?"

Boy:"250 bucks."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together

Boy:"Dark in here"

Man"Yes,it is"

Boy:I have a baseball glove"

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,"How much?"

Boy:"500 bucks"

Man:"Sold"

A few days later, the Dad asks the boy if he wants to play catch and the boy says he cant because he sold his glove and ball.

Dad:"How much did you sell it for?"

Boy:"750 bucks"

Dad:"That's terrible you shouldnt rip off your friends like that.I'm taking you to confession"

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and close the door.

The boy says:"Dark in here."

The priest says"Dont start that shit again;you're in my closet now."

 

[AE23]

:rofl:

 

[tbo41fan]

LMAO!

That was a good one

 

[CODE_BLUE56]

Guys,i'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if i could actually drive too, but i've failed every damn test i've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts, I have repressed lust for one of my best friends ,too;she's athletic,smart,and a gorgeous southern gal. I lover her. You know what it's like:i've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only best friend, besides this one kid, who i'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all worse is that i live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

 

[EnjoyYourTiger]

Guys,i'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if i could actually drive too, but i've failed every damn test i've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts, I have repressed lust for one of my best friends ,too;she's athletic,smart,and a gorgeous southern gal. I lover her. You know what it's like:i've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only best friend, besides this one kid, who i'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all worse is that i live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

Should have just stopped while you were ahead with the first joke.

Tell the Scooby Doo one again, hahaha.

 

[GaelicSoxFan]

Guys,i'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if i could actually drive too, but i've failed every damn test i've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts, I have repressed lust for one of my best friends ,too;she's athletic,smart,and a gorgeous southern gal. I lover her. You know what it's like:i've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only best friend, besides this one kid, who i'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all worse is that i live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

Except for the pineapple, this could be 901.

 

[CODE_BLUE56]

Should have just stopped while you were ahead with the first joke.

Tell the Scooby Doo one again, hahaha.

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks i work with:

First, there is this supermodel model wanna be chick. Yeah, okay she's pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is really self-centered and has NEVER ONCE considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, cuz every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in last decade, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second hand smoke. Hell,sometimes I ever think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are always hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDs and Burger King, every single day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit

 

[AE23]

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

[EnjoyYourTiger]

Love. That. SO. Much. Hahahahaha.