- Joined:
- Sep 28, 2010
- Posts:
- 5,997
- Liked Posts:
- 2,338
- Location:
- Somewhere in Indiana
Man, have I got a story for you.
I was just minding my own business gathering power converters at Toshi Station, when my bunk ass uncle made me clean two robots. One looks like a huge moving ashtray, while the other one looks like Joan Rivers in Spaceballs.
Anyway, the trashcan gets free and runs (rolls) away. My uncle will kick my ass if I don't find this robot, so I have to go out into the desert to find it. I get attacked by some dude that's into Aphex Twin and knocks me out, but I luckily am saved by some creepy old dude. He gives me candy, a back rub and a laser sword. Weird, right? He says I can save the universe and some hot princess.
We have to go to a bar and rent a spaceship. A fucking space ship. I get into a fight with some ass face and Ben (that's the name the old dude calls himself) cuts off his arm with his laser sword. We meet a dude and his walking ape and go on an adventure.
We land on a small moon made of metal, concrete and rebar and I save the princess with the pilot dude and his gorilla. She kisses me in thanks, but it sort of feels like how you kiss your sister? Is that weird? Ben is killed by the black guy that's in Predator. Ben is laser sworded to death, so that's a bummer, but we escape to plan to come back and blow up the moon.
I receive my own ship, and long story short-- I blow up the moon. I guess it was some sort of space station that could blow up planets. The pilot, his gorilla and I receive medals.
Where's my hand?
The end.
I was just minding my own business gathering power converters at Toshi Station, when my bunk ass uncle made me clean two robots. One looks like a huge moving ashtray, while the other one looks like Joan Rivers in Spaceballs.
Anyway, the trashcan gets free and runs (rolls) away. My uncle will kick my ass if I don't find this robot, so I have to go out into the desert to find it. I get attacked by some dude that's into Aphex Twin and knocks me out, but I luckily am saved by some creepy old dude. He gives me candy, a back rub and a laser sword. Weird, right? He says I can save the universe and some hot princess.
We have to go to a bar and rent a spaceship. A fucking space ship. I get into a fight with some ass face and Ben (that's the name the old dude calls himself) cuts off his arm with his laser sword. We meet a dude and his walking ape and go on an adventure.
We land on a small moon made of metal, concrete and rebar and I save the princess with the pilot dude and his gorilla. She kisses me in thanks, but it sort of feels like how you kiss your sister? Is that weird? Ben is killed by the black guy that's in Predator. Ben is laser sworded to death, so that's a bummer, but we escape to plan to come back and blow up the moon.
I receive my own ship, and long story short-- I blow up the moon. I guess it was some sort of space station that could blow up planets. The pilot, his gorilla and I receive medals.
Where's my hand?
The end.
