Strip Club Tales

[Rush]

After a great weekend including a very drunken night at the local strip club for a bachelor party, this is the perfect thread to create. Share your tales/funny stories from the strip clubs you've attended.

When my brother got married, we went to a little nasty joint on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. Interesting night to say the least. Halfway through the night, we're having a good time, standard procedure, tits...beers...etc. This chick comes out to Mortal Kombat theme music, we get pumped. We used to be into MK when we were young so it was a blast of nostalgia, and tits. Christmas time motherfucker.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMf40daefsI]YouTube - Mortal Kombat Theme[/ame]

She comes out in MK attire. It's on.

Anyway she comes up and thrusts her tits into my brother's face. Hot? Meh. For him? Maybe. The next thing to happen will blow your mind. She puts one tit on the side of his head and goes Mike Tyson in a cocaine inspired rage on a speed bag on it, punching her own tit into the side of his head. Once this all transpired, we were laughing our asses off and he had no comment.

From this past weekend, the groom was getting a dance from a stripper for like 20-30 minutes. Once she is done, one of her garments is under my foot. I am stretched out 5 ft away and don't notice. To preface this, earlier in the day we went deep sea fishing and I got burnt like a motherfucker on my leg. Next thing I know this chick slaps my leg to my attention and I let out a "MOTHERFUCKER" and she has no idea what happened. They had to inform I had sun-burn to enth-degree so the security didn't rush over lol. Her tits were fake. They weren't nice. ***** should have gotten a spinarooni cycle kick from Booker T.

The actual strippers at this place weren't very attractive. They had the BEAUTIFUL girls as shot-girls. Who go around with shot tubes for $6 and a 30 second dance. So you get a shot of Jager, Tequila, w/e you want and a 30 second dance. In comparison to a $35 dance for 1 song......we stuck with the shot girl most of the night. Wish she was up on the website, she was amazingly hot. Almost too hot for a strip club, not in a slutty way, but she was legit pretty. Should be modeling instead of in a two-bit strip club joint.

 

[nvanprooyen]

I would like to see a Mortal Kombat tit slap fatality worked into their next release. Like this, but with boobs instead of the uppercut.

 

[zack54attack]

so that's where you've been all weekend Keegs... missed ya on FB brah.

 

[X]

so that's where you've been all weekend keegs... Missed ya on fb brah.

<3<3<3

 

[R_Mac_1]

Went to the strip club last night with some buddies for my bday. No crazy stories, however. It was a pretty standard evening. The one we went to is the biggest in the area and has pretty decent girls. It's a fully nude club that's also BYOB. My friends pitched in and bought me two private dances. Both were solid. Even moreso because they allow touching, except for the vag.

I guess the funniest thing is later that night at the bar I ran into a girl that I knew from high school. She dated one of my best friends for a while, actually. Anyway, she gave me a hug and says "Wow, you smell delicious." I laughed and said "Do I smell like stripper tits?"

 

[Rush]

haha that's great Mac.

That is the standard around here although some of the lower class joints will suck your dong for a cheeseburger pretty much. Although the talent pool is a considerable drop.

 

[R_Mac_1]

Yeah there's a couple grimy places like that around here, from what I've heard. I've never actually checked them out.

We were going to hit up another place where the girls aren't as hot, but they work considerably harder for your money. Shit, last time we went the dollar dances were basically private dances out on the main floor.

But, we were strippered out for the night and just hit up some bars.