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This thing needs little to no explanation. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's a Taco Bell Cheesy Double-Beef Burrito wrapped in a fully cooked, juicy Jimmy Dean Premium Pork sausage.
What can only be described as a possible suicide attempt was baked by a sausage enthusiast who wraps everything from burritos to caprese salad in sausages. It comes in at a whopping, and daunting, 146g of fat and 1790 calories.
That's a few days' worth of fat that you'll be carrying right to the emergency room. Only large amounts of money could get us to even try this thing.
The Original Bacon Explosion is extremely harmful for your body, but sensationally orgasmic for your physical/emotional/spiritual indulgence... for a bit or two.
The 2 pounds of thick cut bacon, 2 pounds of Italian sausage, 1 jar of barbecue sauce and 1 jar of barbeque rub are like a year-long barbeque stuffed--and we mean stuffed--into a single day.
And yes, we used "jar" as a unit of measurement.
Good Lord, what does 5,000 calories and 500 grams of fat even matter at this point? I hear they give these out as last meals on death row instead of lethal injections.
Are words really necessary for this one? The Bacon Mug is everyone's fantasy nightmare, and you can see why.
The creation consists of biscuits (for molding the cup), cheese (both cream cheese and Swiss cheese), and lots and lots of bacon.
This holy/unGodly goblet of heartburn tallies in at 2400 calories and 158 grams of fat at a minimum, so think of it this way: why lose more (bacon slices) if you're losing (dignity and self-respect) in the end anyways?
The Morning Glory.
To make it clear, there's nothing glorious about the meal itself.
It's just sausage, egg, and cheese. The kicker? It's sandwiched inside a glazed, fresh, gooey, delicious cinnamon roll.
I think the title refers to the glory of heaven, which you may just soon be seeing (in the afterlife).
In fact, those 1,113 calories and 45 grams of fat might have already taken you there.
Take THAT, your hopes of "sitting-by-a-pool-or-near-ANY-body-of-water-this-spring/summer"!
Thought you were safe, vegetarians? You're not.
Sure, there are all kinds of deep-fried candy bars, pastries and the like. But the fact that they've gone ahead and defiled Coke is an abomination. Coke. I thought it was safe. But it's not. Now we know: none of us are.
Deep Fried Coke takes a childhood favorite like Coca-Cola and blasts it with everything that's completely and utterly wrong. But good. But wrong. But... wrong.
The frozen Coca-Cola-flavored batter is deep-fried and topped with Coca-Cola syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon sugar, and a cherry.
Where or where could this concept have come from?
Texas of course, home of Paula Deen, who I personally think should be held responsible for the moments I have trouble breathing while... walking... up... the driveway.
This Southern concoction is estimated to have 830 calories per cup and 28 grams of fat, amount of servings in an average sitting? Probably more than one cup.
Both the inspiration for this list and the most ridiculous thing the American national food industry has come up with since item 10 on this list: this is the KFC Double Down.
Courtesy of KFC, now you can have a hands-on relationship with the grease you're eating, no pesky "bread" standing between you and your meat, always slipping out of your grasp because of "condiments" or "nature". No. The bread IS the meat IS the bread. Wrap your mind around that one.
The new KFC Double Down features two boneless fried chicken fillets as the "buns" and two pieces of bacon, two slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese (because one cheese really would not have cut it) and the Colonel's Sauce as filling.
With 540 calories and 32 grams of fat, this one-hand-heart-attack will launch across the U.S. on April 12.
The Canadians are sabotaging us with this heart-destroying calzone and the worst part is that it's actually quite edible.
Poutine, a fabulous reek on its own and Canadian staple that consists of fries, cheese and brown gravy, is cooked inside a calzone and deep fried in a massive cauldron of hot boiling oil.
This reservation for a full-night stay in your "washroom" clocks in at 1160 calories and 60 grams of fat.
Anything named "Baconator" has got to be a lethal weapon. I think the terrorists are winning when this is one of the more "tame" items on this list.
Anything named Baconator Triple (pictured to the right with 6 patties, not 3, for effect) has got to be some kind of biological warfare. Contributing to the selling of this sandwich has to be some kind of treason.
And yet, Wendy's offering it on their menu (in a weaker, triple-meat version) for 1330 calories and 51 grams of fat. A premium bun filled with three beef patties and layered with bacon, mayo, ketchup, and American cheese.
And somewhere in the world, people are starving. Where's your God now?
That Colonel just doesn't let up, does he? He's on our list again, but this time for his KFC Famous Bowl, whose visual appeal almost matches its deranged nutritional value.
The bowl combines, or rather mushes, mashed potatoes, corn, fried chicken, gravy, and a three-cheese blend into one trough of a next-morning-looking meal.
Eating one of these things will cut you back 690 calories and 31 grams of fat. Relatively sound considering the rest of the list, but horrible considering that this will not be your only meal that day.
Also, the only thing famous about this "famous bowl" is the rolls. Attached to your body.
Remember the now-reformed Domino's before it changed its recipe, bread, sauce and cheese? Remember how desperate they got? This is like watching a video of Mickey Rourke in the 90's.
Welcome to your childhood's biggest dream and your stomach's biggest nightmare.
A thin crust of cookie layered in vanilla sauce, covered in cookie crumbles, with icing reminiscent of the sugary cream found inside real Oreo cookies globbed liberally on top of the cookie empire... all cut up into many, droopy, crumbly slices.
This Fear Factor-esque stomach churner clocked in at 32g of fat and 960 calories.
