Why the Bulls Looked Scary Good Last Night

@mistereffoex

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Do you want to know what shook me at the core about last night's game? No, it wasn't the great team defense and overall performance by a team without the league's reigning MVP. No, it wasn't the dazzling moves and abnormally oversized cranium of JL3 (whom I call 'The Third Coming'). And no, it wasn't the offensive production we have been impatiently waiting on from Rip 'The Fragile One' Hamilton.

What scared me with excitement about last night's game was Carlos Boozer dunking the basketball. So often have I been teased by CB when he charges the rim at full speed only to politely kiss the ball off the backboard and into the hoop. It got to the point that I thought he was doing this to mess with me on purpose (because yeah, CB and I are cool like that). I've grown accustomed to Carlos changing like a Transformer from tough guy into pussy when it's Optimus Time (get it?) to dunk; and I'm numb to the idea of him flushing the ball like a grown man in the NBA should.

Last night, Carlos gave me feeling again. He dunked, and then he dunked again..harder. I have a wife that I just married in St. Thomas nine days ago, so I feel comfortable in telling you that his dunks last night gave me a chubby. If Boozer continues to slam dunk the basketball throughout the playoffs, no other team will want to see—let alone play—our Chicago Bulls.
 

scottiepippen1994

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Do you want to know what shook me at the core about last night's game? No, it wasn't the great team defense and overall performance by a team without the league's reigning MVP. No, it wasn't the dazzling moves and abnormally oversized cranium of JL3 (whom I call 'The Third Coming'). And no, it wasn't the offensive production we have been impatiently waiting on from Rip 'The Fragile One' Hamilton.

What scared me with excitement about last night's game was Carlos Boozer dunking the basketball. So often have I been teased by CB when he charges the rim at full speed only to politely kiss the ball off the backboard and into the hoop. It got to the point that I thought he was doing this to mess with me on purpose (because yeah, CB and I are cool like that). I've grown accustomed to Carlos changing like a Transformer from tough guy into pussy when it's Optimus Time (get it?) to dunk; and I'm numb to the idea of him flushing the ball like a grown man in the NBA should.

Last night, Carlos gave me feeling again. He dunked, and then he dunked again..harder. I have a wife that I just married in St. Thomas nine days ago, so I feel comfortable in telling you that his dunks last night gave me a chubby. If Boozer continues to slam dunk the basketball throughout the playoffs, no other team will want to see—let alone play—our Chicago Bulls.

I been wondering why Boozer has been scared to dunk for quite some time. Even posted about it.
All this time I thought it was because he didn't have his legs no more and was physically aging faster than a normal human being like Robin Williams in the movie "Jack"...The hairline being the tell tail sign.
Whatever type of new drug he's been prescribed for his condition, I hope he overdoses because I must admit that seeing him dunk almost turned me on too.

I noticed Rip looking younger as well as he went to the hole with quickness with his new found dunking lately.
They must have the same doctor and prescription.
I want some of that shit there on.

WTF has he been hiding this new found confidence? :dunno:
 
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@mistereffoex

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I think it's a new strain of medical marijuana called 'Blueberry Benjamin Button'. That's powerful nug.
 

RC_Skinny22

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boozer_1204112.jpg


:yeah:
 
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RamiTheBullsFan

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Boozer has been shockingly healthy this year and has his knees under him.
 

Axl Rose

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i think boozer sucked all the health out of rose smh (pause)
 

Scoot26

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Well we always knew we needed Boozer to give us some points and thats all he simply needs to do. He is complete garbage on defense though. He gave up 3 And one's and Carmelo owned him any time Carmelo drove. Thats why I pretty much expect him to be on the bench in 4th quarters of close games in the playoffs.
 

BigP50

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Me and the boys were watching the game in the lobby of our dorm and I yelled multiple times lol
 

@mistereffoex

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Anyone want to know any other thoughts on last night's game or the Bulls in general, let me know. I'll be checking the thread until 4p. Is there an app for this? I'm brand new to the forum (though it's seeming that I should have been here instead of FunnyorDie all along.

Speaking of a plug, check me out at funnyordie.com/mistereffoex

THANKS CHI FAITHFUL!!!

-Mr. Fox
 

thechosenone

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Boozer was terrible last night but his dunks were great! It took him so long after the injury to be as aggressive as he was in the Jazz but finaly he is in a good level right now. I don't care about defense as long as we have Taj who can replace him when we need defense and Boozer is in a bad night.

Boozer is in a good night? He scores 20 points and grabs 15 boards and we win the game.

Boozer is in a bad night? He scores 10 points, grabs 8 boards and Taj does the rest of the job.
 

Diddy1122

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It surprises me that people pile on Carlos when he doesn't score more than 15 in a game. Thing is, he's barely getting 10 attempts in the majority of those "bad" games. Some of that can be chalked up to bad positioning in the post, but more often than not if they can't get him the 1st entry pass into the post, they give up on that play. He has been impressively consistent in his effort & production all year. And I think we can stop calling him the worst defender on the planet. He's not great for sure, but this year he has improved his spacing on D which has allowed him to disrupt passing lanes, resulting in a steal per game average, just slightly behind team leader Ronnie Brewer. His 1-on-1 D leaves alot to be desired, but his help D has gotten better all season long.
 

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