A sensitive way to find out how someone died

[TSD]

So this past weekend a girl I worked with in passing (Ive said hi to her a few times that was the extent), died over the weekend. She was only 27 years old. I am ridiculously curious what the **** happened. But dont want to seem like an insensitive prick going around floating emails saying how did this chick die. She was a very attractive woman.



They linked us an online Obit, but it had no details as to her death. I checked her out online to see if there were any articles about car accidents or anything like that. Been consuming my day today, whenever anyone dies this young, I am always dreadfully curious as to what happened.



EDIT:



I don't want to mention her name here. When I looked her up online to see if I could find any news, I found some tid bits about run ins with the law when she was in college. One incident which involved kicking out a squad cars window, and yes I am 100% positive it is the same person. So given past history that makes me even more interested.

 

[JOVE23]

If there's a FB memorial group, join it and ask them?

 

[TSD]

If there's a FB memorial group, join it and ask them?

Good call, didnt even think of that. I'll have to check out facebook when I get home.

 

[Ymono37]

Good call, didnt even think of that. I'll have to check out facebook when I get home.

Yeah, that'd be my advice. Even if there's no memorial group, if she has an un-secured page it'd be pretty clear from folks/friends posting things...



Also, any old contacts at the place you used to work together? There's always someone who's a gossip.

 

[Kerfuffle]

You stated that someone sent you a link on online Obit. Can you ask that person directly? I would

 

[bri]

Can't you just say something like . "she was so young" what happened?"

 

[Kerfuffle]

Can't you just say something like . "she was so young" what happened?"

Nah I wouldn't put it that way. I would say this:



Hello xxxx, I received an email informing me of the passing of Susan. I am so sorry to hear this and wanted to reach out to you. I knew Susan in college and we were buddies during that time but lost touch over the years. I am deeply saddened to hear of her passing and if possible could you please tell me what happened?





There you go.

 

[TSD]

yeah i could just go to the horses mouth and ask the one who sent out the Obit, but im hesitant to directly contact a senior executive for anything. The organization is set up like the military in that manner. You dont hop over your platoon sergeant and platoon leader executive officer and go right to the company commander.



While they may make exceptions in this case, id rather not recieve a "who do you think you are contacting me directly" email.

 

[MassHavoc]

Nah I wouldn't put it that way. I would say this:



Hello xxxx, I received an email informing me of the passing of Susan. I am so sorry to hear this and wanted to reach out to you. I knew Susan in college and we were buddies during that time but lost touch over the years. I am deeply saddened to hear of her passing and if possible could you please tell me what happened?





There you go.

That is just horrible advice, you do not insert lying in any form into this situation.

 

[Kerfuffle]

That is just horrible advice, you do not insert lying in any form into this situation.

I didn't say to lie - where are you getting that from? I also don't know the woman's name so I used the word Susan. I don't know how he knew her so I said college buddies. I think he can insert the correct words there. I was trying to show the flow and how to be sensitive in the approach.

 

[MassHavoc]

I didn't say to lie - where are you getting that from? I also don't know the woman's name so I used the word Susan. I don't know how he knew her so I said college buddies. I think he can insert the correct words there. I was trying to show the flow and how to be sensitive in the approach.

If you didn't lie, then you didn't read his original post and you are an even bigger idiot for offer up advice out of context.

 

[Kerfuffle]

If you didn't lie, then you didn't read his original post and you are an even bigger idiot for offer up advice out of context.

My advice is correct and I stand by it. I wasn't trying to write something for him to copy and paste into an email and hit send. I was trying to show him the approach to take. I'm sure he can paraphrase as needed to insert the actual facts as he knows them.

 

[Chief Walking Stick]

Just ask what happened... I don't think that's insensitive at all.

 

[TSD]

Holy shit. Well I found out.





its available via news so ill just post the article I found. I had no idea her father was a freakin attorney general.



She was a project manager at accenture working on the Blue Cross account with me(we were on seperate projects within the account, but I was familiar with her). Mixed reports some say suicide, some natural causes.





http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/anne-hatch-dead-chicago-condo-dec-13-2010



http://news.mwza.com/news/anne-hatch-mike-hatchs-daughter-suicide/461/



http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=7841282

 

[Kerfuffle]

Holy shit. Well I found out.





its available via news so ill just post the article I found. I had no idea her father was a freakin attorney general.



She was a project manager at accenture working on the Blue Cross account with me(we were on seperate projects within the account, but I was familiar with her). Mixed reports some say suicide, some natural causes.





http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/anne-hatch-dead-chicago-condo-dec-13-2010



http://news.mwza.com/news/anne-hatch-mike-hatchs-daughter-suicide/461/



http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=7841282

could have been depression that triggered it. The fact you said she was kicking out windows at one time in her life leads me to think she had some issues

 

[TSD]

could have been depression that triggered it. The fact you said she was kicking out windows at one time in her life leads me to think she had some issues

Theres tons of articles on this online now, and almost all of them mention that 2004 incident.



I just saw her that friday the 10th. Its wierd, even though I was just acquainted with her, you cant help but think what you could have done to prevent this. One of the articles confirms she hung herself. Very beautiful girl too, such a shame.

 

[Kerfuffle]

Here's a photo of her --> http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...orney-General-Mike-Hatch-commits-suicide.html

 

[TSD]

Here's a photo of her --> http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...orney-General-Mike-Hatch-commits-suicide.html

She looked better now, thats a photo of her from 2004.

heres a more recent photo.

 

[bri]

Hun, you are just dealing with all kinds of sadness. Hope you are OK.

 

[sth]

A lot of times when someone commits suicide the obits won't mention it. Same goes with someone who OD's. There was a girl I kind of new when I was a kid who died last year and she OD'ed and the obit didn't mention how she died.