Allow me to vent.

[BNB]

Frankly I'd like to do that to people like you who express such thought?

Why don't you kick the shot out of your old man? And perhaps you're the problem and not him.

Yeah, my siblings and I are definitely the problem for why my dad is such a piece of shit. Even when we were little and he was never around... why the **** were we such a burden on him? Personally, I really need to sit back and think of what I must have done wrong to make him gamble all the money away and stop paying the bills many years ago and putting it all on my mom. Speaking of my mother, I must have done something wrong to push my dad to cheat on her multiple times when I was kid and finding out about it along with my brother when we were going through his room.

You've given me a lot to think about. Thanks.

 

[KittiesKorner]

I thought I was psycho, according to Botfly10?

no you're just occasionally spazzy lol.

Touhy used to post videos of underage girls being tickled on the CBMB. creepy shit

 

[botfly10]

Man, I got a piece of shit dad too who has left nothing but shit in his wake. Basically just a big man child. It took me a long time to disassociate from him without feeling bad for it. Kinda like the psycho ***** mom in sopranos, where it takes tony a year in therapy to realize its not him, its his mom, and she's a psycho *****.

Dude is a flat out fuckup and it took me years to really accept that that is not a reflection on me. He's the fuckup, not me.

I don't talk to the ****** ever anymore. I would be willing to let him back in my life, but it would take a very, very long trial period where he would have to prove that he is taking responsibility for his bullshit. I won't have to worry about that though cause he probably won't ever put forth the effort.

When my mom split from him, she was the only one to see his real self. I give her a lot of credit, because at the time, people thought she was nuts. But she saved my sister and I a lot of bullshit by being strong and getting the **** out.

Anyway, I had to wait until I was 24 and independent for financial aid purposes before I could fund my school.

Guess what I'm sayin is that sure sounds like you are going through fucked up times, but you should not judge yourself for it. Obviously it sucks in the meantime, but its not any reflection on your capacity, value, or competence as a person.

 

[botfly10]

Oh, also while I was waiting to be independent so I could pay for school, I worked my ass off. Had one job driving a tractor and another on a fishing boat out of seattle.

Those fishing jobs are easy to get man, and they are short term. You can get them online. Great way to make a shit ton of money real quick.

 

[botfly10]

I thought I was psycho, according to Botfly10?

I thought I just called you a weirdo?

 

[BNB]

Man, I got a piece of shit dad too who has left nothing but shit in his wake. Basically just a big man child. It took me a long time to disassociate from him without feeling bad for it. Kinda like the psycho ***** mom in sopranos, where it takes tony a year in therapy to realize its not him, its his mom, and she's a psycho *****.

Dude is a flat out fuckup and it took me years to really accept that that is not a reflection on me. He's the fuckup, not me.

I don't talk to the ****** ever anymore. I would be willing to let him back in my life, but it would take a very, very long trial period where he would have to prove that he is taking responsibility for his bullshit. I won't have to worry about that though cause he probably won't ever put forth the effort.

When my mom split from him, she was the only one to see his real self. I give her a lot of credit, because at the time, people thought she was nuts. But she saved my sister and I a lot of bullshit by being strong and getting the **** out.

Anyway, I had to wait until I was 24 and independent for financial aid purposes before I could fund my school.

Guess what I'm sayin is that sure sounds like you are going through fucked up times, but you should not judge yourself for it. Obviously it sucks in the meantime, but its not any reflection on your capacity, value, or competence as a person.

Yeah, I haven't talked to my dad in like 3 years. I have no desire to ever talk to him again honestly. Maybe I'm being paranoid or some shit, but I honestly think the dude is a sociopath or something.

The only thing I've beaten myself up over is not finishing school fast enough. I've been in college for 4+ years and I've changed my major like 5 times. If I knew what I wanted to do, I could have been done or finishing up by now, and that could have been one less worry. Instead, I could be in school for who knows how much longer. That's definitely something that falls on me. Other things, I know I can't control.

 

[botfly10]

Theres a couple different strategies when it comes to kids and college. Not that you're a kid.

But one is to push the kid through as fast as you can so when they go out and explore the world, they have a degree under their belt. If they discover a passion, they can then seek whatever additional education they need to pursue it.

Another strategy is to send the kid to europe with a rail pass or some shit like that and push them to do some exploring before they go to college. The idea being you can get more out of school this way.

Neither is really better, and really it just depends on the individual you are talkin about.

I guess I'm not sure what my point is. Maybe just that if you are putting off doing something compulsive and irresponsible, you don't necessarily have to wait to finish college.

**** it, move to equador or join the merchant marine or get a job teaching english in costa rica or some shit.

 

[NCChiFan]

Give it a break and try to catch up, work dbl shifts, even if 1 or both are crap jobs, save save save, then head back next semester or the one after that. Took me 7 years to get my college work finished, why should you be special and get it down quicker? Keep nagging and nagging the old man, he might end up getting sick of it and handing you the information he obviously doesn't want either you, or your siblings, or your mom to know.

 

[fenderpfunk]

Good luck BNB - a lot of great advice from a lot of people. People like you will find a way. People like Mike Touhy will find a way to a very quiet room with padded walls.

 

[Crystallas]

Don't feel bad BNB. Fatherly resentment is the norm. Heck, I haven't seen or talked to my father since I was 17 years and 364 days old.

 

[KittiesKorner]

never mind

 

[Mitchapalooza]

Don't feel bad BNB. Fatherly resentment is the norm. Heck, I haven't seen or talked to my father since I was 17 years and 364 days old.

dat technical accuracy doe

 

[Cerebral]

Sorry to hear your life is in a downward spiral. Especially close to the holidays. Since I've never been in your situation I can't give any advice. I know when I was going through things I hated when people said "Things will get better" because at the point in time it does absolutely no good whatsoever. Those people mean well, as do the people on this board who are giving you advice, but sometimes the only time things feel like they're getting better is when they're actually getting better. My only advice is too not let your ill feelings take control of you. If it puts you in a bad enough depression it can effect you mentally and physically for years to come. I know. My last bout of depression ended up giving me Diabetes and Heart Disease.

 

[Teddy KGB]

First, I wanna say that the only reason why I'm doing this on here is because I think it might help if I'm able to express myself in some way. I don't go to family and friends because I don't want to come off as complaining and I don't want people feeling sorry for me. Since I don't know anyone here personally, I figured I could just say my shit here.

To start... I seriously want to fuckin scream and just punch the shit out of somebody. My life is complete shit right now, and probably has been for some years.

I've got a piece of shit father that's never done anything but bring more shit into my life. Most recently, he has fucked me over with financial aid. He won't give me his documents to give to the school for aid... and that's restricting me from even getting loans. I know, I'm an adult... why not work and go to school like a lot of other people do and pay for it myself? Well, I was working. Unfortunately, I wasn't making nearly enough money to cover my gas, car, school, food, etc. On top of that, I'm stuck with thousands of dollars of medical bills that I've had to slowly pay off. I've got like 15k left of that shit. Plus, this semester I had to make a choice. Work more to make money so I can pay for my classes, but do poorly in my classes because I wouldn't had the time to study and shit... or, take less hours and make sure I got good grades. I chose the second option. Silly me, I guess. Now I have no money to pay for school and I can't register for classes next semester until I do. On top of all this pile of shit, I recently got diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. Hoo-ray for fuckin that, right?

Everything just sucks right now. I can't even look ahead and see anything positive. It's like every time I feel like things are gonna turn around, something else comes up and I'm getting sick of it.

Anyway... thanks for "listening" to me whine.

If you have nothing at the moment, and a shit ton of bills, then I might make an honest suggestion.

File for bankruptcy. The lawyer fee up front is a little rough (but I believe under a grand). But for all the fear and stress and angst over whether to file, I can speak from personal experience my wife and I wish we would have filed sooner. Don't fear the issues to your credit - it can be rebuilt fairly quick, and in terms of buying a home, you can be available for a mortgage 2 years after discharge.

Its a financial reset button. If you find yourself buried, it can help a lot. Only thing that can't be discharged are school loans.

Consider it. Those medical bills would all go away.

 

[Nail Polish]

If you have nothing at the moment, and a shit ton of bills, then I might make an honest suggestion.

File for bankruptcy. The lawyer fee up front is a little rough (but I believe under a grand). But for all the fear and stress and angst over whether to file, I can speak from personal experience my wife and I wish we would have filed sooner. Don't fear the issues to your credit - it can be rebuilt fairly quick, and in terms of buying a home, you can be available for a mortgage 2 years after discharge.

Its a financial reset button. If you find yourself buried, it can help a lot. Only thing that can't be discharged are school loans.

Consider it. Those medical bills would all go away.

Good point teddy... he should at least weigh the options...

 

[Teddy KGB]

Good point teddy... he should at least weight the options...

Agreed. Having been through it, I can tell you agonizing over whether to do it is far more stressful and draining than actually going through the process. We tried to get out of our financial hole "the right way" but just got buried under medical bills and a large CC balance that followed me from my days of stupid spending when I was a college kid with a couple credit cards.

There were weeks when it was really week to week there. Without those bills to pile on us, it allowed us to get into a much better spot.

 

[botfly10]

You don't wanna file for bankruptcy if you're tryin to take out more student loans any time soon.

 

[Icculus]

BNB, I think these would be your three best options.

1. Work to pay off your debts so you can have some money later on for college. University classes are stressful enough without having to worry about financing your education.

2. Get a job for a company like UPS (If that company still offers this option) that will at least pay for a 2-year college education/Associate's Degree.

3. Join the military in a reserve or active capacity for GI Bill Benefits that come with an Honorable Discharge. This is the option I chose nine and a half years ago (got out Summer of 2012) and it's worked out for me almost perfectly (in one year I'll have my Bachelor's Degree). The most recent update the 9-11 GI Bill pays full tuition to any state university or college and you receive a monthly living stipend and funds for you books and supplies. You'll have to sacrifice some of your individual rights and liberties, but if you are seen fit to serve and you stay out of trouble the rewards you get from the VA are terrific.

Whatever decision you make, take care. Life isn't easy, especially when you have shitty "role models" in your family. Hopefully, this all works out for you.

 

[bearmick]

Here's the thing - the financial system is going to collapse. At some point, credit will be a useless currency. Like Teddy said, a financial reset, except this one will be on a macro level rather than micro. The entire concept of credit is merely the system's method of coercing people into obedience towards corporations.

Screw the med bills. The fact that there is such a thing that exists as medical bills is an affront to civilization in the first place. Keep your money and buy your education, or whatever you need.

 

[Crystallas]

Bankruptcy doesn't touch student loans.