Dear Bacon,
I must offer up my deepest and most sincere apologies. You know my love for you is overflowing and unending, which makes this hurt even worse. I care for you deeply, and hope this doesn't result in the end of our relationship.
This morning I wanted a sandwich, and unfortunately, I ate the rest of you last night on a chicken sandwich. The chicken was good, but you were superb. However, I was forced to eat...this morning...with my egg and cheese....sausage.
I know you're upset, and I understand if you need a while to sort through your thoughts. But let me assure you, bacon, it was a one-time thing. I love you, more than anyone could realize, and I would never intentionally upset you. Please, Bacon, find it in your heart to forgive me. I need you, B. I want you on my breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Please, bacon, come back to me.
With eternal love,
X