“Emus are not a protected or endangered class of animal; they are considered agriculture like a horse or cow,” State police said.
www.wivb.com
Poor emu!
Can you imagine being a NYSP officer doing radar on the highway.
And a fucking Emu comes running along pecking at cars and shit, so you naturally pull the Emu over.
But as soon as you ask for license and registration the ****** charges, causing you to unload your 9mm into that mfer.
Then you have to do paperwork, and likely see a therapist, to explain how you feel about shooting a fucking Emu.
You get into it with someone at a party who is all "Omg Emus are sooooooooo cute".
As you stand before a judge for sentencing he says "I must take into account your difficult history with Emus", like that's in a court record forever about you.
When you finally get out of prison there's only one thing waiting for you, and that's the Emu you shot. but failed to kill.
A guard of the prison watches as you walk to the Emu at the tree line, make peace and leave to begin your new life as a vagrant with an Emu sidekick.
He turns to his buddy and says "That guy used to be a NYSP officer."