Daylon Morrison's: Ben Gordon Letter To Bulls

??? ??????

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Dear teammates,

Hurry, give me the ball! We're ahead by four in the first quarter, it's time for me to shine.

Yes, I got the ball, time to shoot!

Darn, missed it. Time to play half-assed defense.

YES! The ball again, time to shoot!

Sweet, I made it! Time to play half-assed defense.

Yes, the ball! Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me. YES! Its mine, time to shoot!

Made it. I'm the best.

Well, I've shot every time I've gotten the ball, and now its the fourth quarter and we're down by 10. Time to REALLY get my shoot on.

Hurry, give me the ball. Shoot!

Damn, missed it!

Wait, what? What's a pass?

You want me to what? Give YOU the ball. That's insane. I was taught, by myself, from a very young age, to shoot every time I got the ball.

Now, lets play some basketball. Based on my understanding of basketball, I'm supposed to play lackluster defense, then dart down the court, wait for the ball, then immediately shoot it, no matter how well-defended I am.

Re-sign with the who? The Bulls? Will you guys give me $50 million?

$40 million?! That's an insult...have you seen me shoot?

Whoever gives me $50 million is going to get the greatest, or at least most frequent, shooter in the game. Now give me the ball, we're up by two with 20 seconds left, its time for me to pick a terrible spot to launch an impossible three-pointer with two defenders right in my face.

Now, give me $50 million.

Sincerely,

Ben Gordon

P.S. Wheres my $50 million?

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/194325-whats-a-pass-by-ben-gordon
 

Diddy1122

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What sad pathetic attempt at humor. I'm gonna draft up the Kirk Hinrich Letter to the Bulls now.
 

sfbullsfan

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Come on now, just because someone takes a shot at Gordon, doesn't mean you should take a shot at Kirk
 

Diddy1122

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sfbullsfan wrote:
Come on now, just because someone takes a shot at Gordon, doesn't mean you should take a shot at Kirk

I know. It's a common theme though among Hinrich supporters to constantly rip on everything Gordon does, so I was making my own little joke there. Obviously not a very good one, but oh well.
 

MADman24

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This guy also took shots at Rex and Benson... within the last 2 weeks, I mean really he just needs a life. He is trying to be funny but not very good at it. And it seems he is just doing what alot of Chicagoans do, they chose a player to hate on every team, sports fans talk about how bad Philly fans are but this is just another example of how we have joined them.
 

Newskoolbulls

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Um yea um geez I got nothing to add except







FAIL
 

Diddy1122

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Wait til Fred reads this. Daylon will be found stuffed in a locker somewhere asphyxiated by a Hinrich jersey.
 

illiniPJ3

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I'm not the biggest Gordon fan myself, but that was just stupid.
 

wjb1492

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Diddy1122 wrote:
sfbullsfan wrote:
Come on now, just because someone takes a shot at Gordon, doesn't mean you should take a shot at Kirk

I know. It's a common theme though among Hinrich supporters to constantly rip on everything Gordon does, so I was making my own little joke there. Obviously not a very good one, but oh well.

Among the general public that might be true, but I don't think it is much here. There are quite a few people who like both of them. And this idiot isn't even making a Ben vs. Kirk argument, you're inferring it because he apparently hates Ben.

There's no need to perpetuate the whole Ben vs. Kirk theme, even if you are just joking. And you felt the need to bring up Kirk twice, so I'm not sure how much you actually are joking here....

That said, this has to be one of the biggest wastes of space I've ever seen.
 

jsain360

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Diddy1122 wrote:
What sad pathetic attempt at humor. I'm gonna draft up the Kirk Hinrich Letter to the Bulls now.

Will Kirk's letter include his in-game Better Basketball dribbling drills
 

dougthonus

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Not funny. For it to be funny, it would first need to be accurate.
 

??? ??????

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I ran across a group on facebook,called "ben gordon is overrated". There group picture is Ben Gordon getting hit by a car.

From that groups wallposts.

And those who say Gordon is clutch just watch highlights, cuz for every game-winner he hits there's almost as many he flops on.

This is true of every NBA player that took any volume of clutch shots. Even the great Michael Jordan missed more potential game winners than he made (25 for 51)....and he's the greatest at hitting the big shot shot in NBA history.

Celtics MVP: Ben Gordon

Yes....he's the real Celtics MVP. If Gordon doesn't rattle off 12 points late in the fourth quarter in Game 1, Bulls lose. If Gordon doesn't hit a ridiculous three in Game 4, after tearing his hamstring, after not scoring the 12 points in the fourth quarter in Game 1, then it's a 4-0 Celtics sweep. Real MVP for the Celtics! Made it so easy for them to win.

he just lost the Heat game

This one I was trying to figure out which game it was. First, I was thinking the one where Thabo Sefolosha threw the ball right to Dwyane Wade, and then was late on the rotation to Shawn Marion. But then I realized the date, and this guy was referring to the game where Ben scored 43 points, making three after three to rally the Bulls in the fourth quarter. The game went 2 overtimes. Vinny decided to give the ball to John Salmons, who was stripped by Dwyane Wade, who dribbled down court and hit a floating three at the buzzer. Ben really lost us that game.

He just lost them the dallas game

This was a 1 point overtime loss. This is the game where our bigs couldn't guard Dirk Nowitzki, giving up 12 points to Dirk in the overtime period. Ben had 28 points on good efficiency in the game. Also, the Bulls had a 3 point lead towards the end of regulation. Derrick Rose left Jason Kidd wide open for three, which he hit to bring the game to overtime. Rose then followed that up by missing one of his approximate 12 game winning attempts of the season.
 

Diddy1122

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jsain360 wrote:
Diddy1122 wrote:
What sad pathetic attempt at humor. I'm gonna draft up the Kirk Hinrich Letter to the Bulls now.

Will Kirk's letter include his in-game Better Basketball dribbling drills

Let's see I could include the "better basketball dribbling drills" which are commonly known as "the circle dribble" aka "the fast break killer" aka "the headless chicken" or his amazing ability to commit fouls away from the ball or his dependability in clutch situations. :laugh:
 

Shakes

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People seem to think because they've got a website they can write comedy like they're the Onion or something.

And even the Onion is rarely the Onion to be honest, they're mostly miss as well. Writing good parody is harder than finding the mythical 6'6"+ SG who defends well, shoots 50+%, draws fouls, passes all the time and still scores 25+ every game. ;)
 

dougthonus

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Shakes wrote:
People seem to think because they've got a website they can write comedy like they're the Onion or something.

And even the Onion is rarely the Onion to be honest, they're mostly miss as well. Writing good parody is harder than finding the mythical 6'6"+ SG who defends well, shoots 50+%, draws fouls, passes all the time and still scores 25+ every game. ;)

I agree. I occasionally would try to be funny when I'd write articles and found that it was often difficult to even deliver a funny line, so I gave up on the attempt for the most part.
 

cool007

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MADman24 wrote:
This guy also took shots at Rex and Benson... within the last 2 weeks, I mean really he just needs a life. He is trying to be funny but not very good at it. And it seems he is just doing what alot of Chicagoans do, they chose a player to hate on every team, sports fans talk about how bad Philly fans are but this is just another example of how we have joined them.


Newskoolbulls wrote:
Um yea um geez I got nothing to add except







FAIL




Diddy1122 wrote:
Wait til Fred reads this. Daylon will be found stuffed in a locker somewhere asphyxiated by a Hinrich jersey.




illiniPJ3 wrote:
I'm not the biggest Gordon fan myself, but that was just stupid.




dougthonus wrote:
Not funny. For it to be funny, it would first need to be accurate.


Agree on ALL counts.

That was just beyond dumb. If Gordon was shooting that much, he would be #1 in FGAs this past season. Also, if he wasn't as aggressive in scoring and whatever he did, Bulls would not even had been close to the playoffs (let alone make it one of the greatest series), we would be probably around $25 wins, if not worse.
 

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