Favorite School Memories Or Teachers

[Ymono37]

Just beyond my buddy's backyard, the field butted up to the field behind the high school where the properties were divided by a long fence. In the center of that fence was a gate that allowed access between the two areas which also made it really easy for us to park at his house and just walk to school, being so close as it was. At some point the school got wise to this and started putting a padlock on the gate so we could no longer get through without jumping the fence. In the summer this wasn't an issue, but with heavy backpacks and snow and ice - the winter made it a bit of a challenge.



So one day, another buddy came by with some bolt cutters and cut the lock off and we were able to move freely between the spaces. Later that week the school discovered what had happened to the lock and put another in place, which we promptly cut off as well. Finally, the school decided to up their game and put some chain interwoven between the gate and fence... which took longer, but we still cut through.



Their final straw was putting some industrial, thick metal chains around the gate and fence which, sadly, our bolt-cutters couldn't get through. Sooooooo... we cut a whole in the fence instead.



I can't remember what the school did after that (we may have all gotten parking spaces the next year, so it was no longer needed), but I know a couple years later I was surprised when they just removed the gate altogether, leaving a nice open spot in the fence where anyone could get through... no bolt-cutters needed.

 

[BigPete]

That's a good story J. Funny thing is that it was probably one maintenance guy or one administrator with a bug up their ass about the situation that just wouldn't quit until they 'won'. Too bad you can't go back and find out what their real motivation was for fucking with you guys like that.

 

[ytsejam]

Senior year track:

A friend of mine that had graduated the year before, had his brother coming in as a freshman. He thought that his brother's friends would be his friends, but no one really liked the whiny little ****. He were nice to him for the most part but he was annoying.

High jump pad -

I was the only high jumper on our track team until this kid wanted to be like me. They actually lowered the starting height for him at home meets. So after I get warmed up, I sit by a friend to shoot the shit while this kid warms up.

He sucks bad and the guys from the other team(s) were laughing their asses off and shit talking him pretty bad.

He comes over to me and says "These guys are real assholes.", I say "Go ahead and go run your event, I'll take care of this shit before you get back here to jump."

After he leaves I make my way over to the group of other jumpers. I say "What the **** are you guys doing picking on this kid? Can't you tell he's special? We lowered the bar for him for ****'s sake."

They immediately turn apologetic, "Sorry dude. We didn't know!" I told them it was no big deal, just not to be dicks.

When kid comes back to jump, these motherfuckers were his fan club. "You can do it!" "Close one there!" A couple of them even patted him on the back and told him how great it was that he tried after he was eliminated.

I was still just sitting there, taking passes until height got up some when kid comes over to me.

"Those guys turned out to be really nice! What the hell did you say to them?"



"I told them I was going to kick the shit out of the next motherfucker that said a cross word to you."



I was able to deadpan it and it never would have worked if my friend that was hanging out nearby, and the jump judge guy hadn't also been able to keep straight faces.

 

[bri]

Just beyond my buddy's backyard, the field butted up to the field behind the high school where the properties were divided by a long fence. In the center of that fence was a gate that allowed access between the two areas which also made it really easy for us to park at his house and just walk to school, being so close as it was. At some point the school got wise to this and started putting a padlock on the gate so we could no longer get through without jumping the fence. In the summer this wasn't an issue, but with heavy backpacks and snow and ice - the winter made it a bit of a challenge.



So one day, another buddy came by with some bolt cutters and cut the lock off and we were able to move freely between the spaces. Later that week the school discovered what had happened to the lock and put another in place, which we promptly cut off as well. Finally, the school decided to up their game and put some chain interwoven between the gate and fence... which took longer, but we still cut through.



Their final straw was putting some industrial, thick metal chains around the gate and fence which, sadly, our bolt-cutters couldn't get through. Sooooooo... we cut a whole in the fence instead.



I can't remember what the school did after that (we may have all gotten parking spaces the next year, so it was no longer needed), but I know a couple years later I was surprised when they just removed the gate altogether, leaving a nice open spot in the fence where anyone could get through... no bolt-cutters needed.

Who would have thought you'd be a rebel?

 

[ytsejam]

A week or two after my track story......



I had a sales presentation to do in some business class. Everyone had to sell something to a classmate in a type of skit. My teacher for the class lives across the street from my grandparents so I still see her now and then. She taught for many years, has my presentation on video, and says it was the most attention getting, funny, and bizarre in her years of teaching that project.

We had to have a "distraction" in our sales skit. The 1st presentation was some cheerleader type, her distraction was a phone call.

After that almost EVERYONE did almost the same fucking thing. Mine was scheduled for the last day of presentations so I had some time. I wasn't using some lame ass phone call as my distraction.

I wasn't selling typical run of the mill shit like paper either.

My skit took place in an ice cream shop. The guy I was selling to was playing the part of an ice cream fanatic. I was selling him a cow shaped ice cream scoop that "moos" when you scoop with it. (I suppose it was originally marketed to fat people)



My distraction was an attempted robbery.



I say attempted robbery because I pulled my unseen cap gun from under my waistband and shot the would be robber "dead".



THAT woke everyone up. Only my teacher and those involved in my skit knew about it. We had teachers from other nearby classrooms come to see just what that fucking noise was.



Then it got better AFTER school.



We had one day a week where instead of going right to track practice or meet, we had about a half hour to kill while teacher meetings went on. I lived closest to school, so a buddy or two from track and I would ride to my house and hang out and shoot hoops for a bit before going back for practice.

About a block from my house we watched as a friend of ours pulled over in front of us, put his car in park, hopped out and proceeded to lay an ass kicking on some kid he had a beef with apparently.

He whooped him pretty good, and as we drive by, I remember that I have a cap gun in my pocket.

I tell my friend to drive around the block. We get back to where we were and poor whooped dude is just a couple houses down from his own walking the rest of the way after dude that kicked his ass was already gone.

I lean out the window, yell "DIE MOTHERFUCKER!!!" and start firing off the cap gun.

That fat ass could have whooped me in the high jump and any of my running event friends with his super speedy zig zag sprint the rest of his short distance home.



I was too busy laughing my ass off to bother shooting hoops.

 

[ytsejam]

In junior high we had a teacher who was young and attractive and her nipples would be erect a lot when she was cold or nervous - so the guys obviously loved that. That's all I really remember about her to this day. She was a shitty teacher but gave me wood each day.

A real teacher or a PE teacher?

1st day of PE, 7th grade. New teacher, she's young, right out of school, and pretty hot, but DUMB. Seriously, as 12 to 14 year olds, we had to almost talk down to her, she was that dumb.

Who cares about that shit, right? On to the good stuff.

We are all sitting on our gym bleachers about 8 to 12 rows of them I would guess. I'm about 3/4 or so of the way up when I get a sharp elbow in my side and a whispered, "Holy shit! Look!" from that side.

Look down, yep, she's bending down to get her paperwork off of the bottom row of bleachers in her unbuttoned polo shirt and no bra.

Pretty nice right after our 1st day of shitty school lunch.

 

[Ymono37]

That's a good story J. Funny thing is that it was probably one maintenance guy or one administrator with a bug up their ass about the situation that just wouldn't quit until they 'won'. Too bad you can't go back and find out what their real motivation was for fucking with you guys like that.

Not sure what it was... I mean we did have to "pay" for parking spaces in the lot, but it wasn't that much so I doubt they would have been irked on missing out on $50... I mean, it's not like any of us were destroying anyone's personal property - just passing through so that a 20 minute walk only took 10.



Later on, they actually banned parking on my buddy's street during school hours.

Who would have thought you'd be a rebel?

What rebellion? We were just lazy.

 

[Ymono37]

A real teacher or a PE teacher?

1st day of PE, 7th grade. New teacher, she's young, right out of school, and pretty hot, but DUMB. Seriously, as 12 to 14 year olds, we had to almost talk down to her, she was that dumb.

Who cares about that shit, right? On to the good stuff.

We are all sitting on our gym bleachers about 8 to 12 rows of them I would guess. I'm about 3/4 or so of the way up when I get a sharp elbow in my side and a whispered, "Holy shit! Look!" from that side.

Look down, yep, she's bending down to get her paperwork off of the bottom row of bleachers in her unbuttoned polo shirt and no bra.

Pretty nice right after our 1st day of shitty school lunch.

No red-blooded, heterosexual male ever forgets his first down-blouse/pokies from the hot teacher in school.

 

[bri]

My biology teacher always got a kick out of terrorizing me. I think they just all liked to hear me scream cause I sound like a parrot when I do. One day we were doing an exercise where you had to identify what stuff was by feel. He had a brown sack with something in it and told me to put my hand in the sack and describe it and try to tell what it was. It was round and kind of squishy and kind of slimy. When he told me to take it out I found it was a cow's eyeball and it had the like nerve things hanging form it. I was so horrified I threw it at him and said I was going to the bathroom and ran out of the room.

 

[LordKOTL]

Here's another one going way back...



When I was in 5th and 6th grade (back then 6th grade was in elementary, not middle school), every year the school would have speech competitions. They would have different catrgories of speech (prepared, demonstarive, and impromptu), and you would have to do each in front of your class. The "winner" of each class would then go on to do their speeches in an assembly in front of the entrie school--and as considered quite an honor.



5th grade, i managed to make it to the assembly in impromptu speech, and my speech was drawn as "world war 3 breaks out" I mentioned something about using the skulls of the dead being filled with TNT and used for landmines. Needless to say I didn't win, but I didn't get in trouble either. In retrospect, the lack of taste I showed foreshadowed my 6th grade year...



In 6th grade, I won my class in demonstrative speech for "How to make an Atomic Bomb" Using matierials from the encyclopedia, i gave a pretty good speech on how the internals of the "Little Boy" bomb worked, complete with a life-size paper "mock-up" on what parts go where, and at the end made a little joke to leave them laughing. Somehow, I won--probably for technique rather than content.



So, my teacher said that it would be very hard to use the paper mock up in the gym and ave everyone see it, so she made me an overhead transparency of a diagram from an encyclopedia, with all of the text gone. i was to use the transparency and a pen to point out and draw things on it as usual, but do the same speech--which I did...



So, I went through the speech, and got to the joke part, which was saying how the materials needed to make your own bomb are controlled by the government, so you can just feed your older brother some chili, and absent-mindedly, i sketched a stick figure eating something out of a can with a cloud of smoke coming out if his ass. The boys laughed. The girls and teachers groaned.



I lost the conpetition.



But I managed to get a visual fart joke off in front of the entire school without out even trying.



And I didn't get punished at all for it.



Even back then I knew I was destined for greatness.

 

[bri]

Here's another one going way back...



When I was in 5th and 6th grade (back then 6th grade was in elementary, not middle school), every year the school would have speech competitions. They would have different catrgories of speech (prepared, demonstarive, and impromptu), and you would have to do each in front of your class. The "winner" of each class would then go on to do their speeches in an assembly in front of the entrie school--and as considered quite an honor.



5th grade, i managed to make it to the assembly in impromptu speech, and my speech was drawn as "world war 3 breaks out" I mentioned something about using the skulls of the dead being filled with TNT and used for landmines. Needless to say I didn't win, but I didn't get in trouble either. In retrospect, the lack of taste I showed foreshadowed my 6th grade year...



In 6th grade, I won my class in demonstrative speech for "How to make an Atomic Bomb" Using matierials from the encyclopedia, i gave a pretty good speech on how the internals of the "Little Boy" bomb worked, complete with a life-size paper "mock-up" on what parts go where, and at the end made a little joke to leave them laughing. Somehow, I won--probably for technique rather than content.



So, my teacher said that it would be very hard to use the paper mock up in the gym and ave everyone see it, so she made me an overhead transparency of a diagram from an encyclopedia, with all of the text gone. i was to use the transparency and a pen to point out and draw things on it as usual, but do the same speech--which I did...



So, I went through the speech, and got to the joke part, which was saying how the materials needed to make your own bomb are controlled by the government, so you can just feed your older brother some chili, and absent-mindedly, i sketched a stick figure eating something out of a can with a cloud of smoke coming out if his ass. The boys laughed. The girls and teachers groaned.



I lost the conpetition.



But I managed to get a visual fart joke off in front of the entire school without out even trying.



And I didn't get punished at all for it.



Even back then I knew I was destined for greatness.

Did you go to a special school, cause I don't remember doing any of that stuff in 5th grade? Of course I was probably more concerned with which Hanson was the cutest. Back then, of course it was Taylor. Who would have thought Isaac would be the best looking now?