How to get rid of a creeper

[JLeigh34]

So I have a question for you guys, there's a dude at work who will not leave me alone, always wants to come hang out at my desk when I'm busy and pester me (even though I don't even make eye contact at this point), has to make a point to walk past my desk and touch my belongings every chance he gets (sliding my calendar onto the floor, shaking my plants so leaves fall off, etc) and will come and hang over the wall of my cube and read whatever I'm doing on my monitor.

I've tried ignoring him and now I'm just being a straight up ***** but he still can't get a freaking hint. He still comes and bothers me and asks me inappropriate things. I'd be tempted to involve HR but I had a girlfriend do that last year for a nearly identical situation and it ended with her getting a slap on the wrist for not being firm enough with the creeper in question.

Any ideas on how I can get this dude to F off without making a scene or a situation happen at work? What are the things that normal men recognize as "definitely not interested!!" signs?


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[Monk]

Oh come on I'm not that creepy!

Sorry I couldn't be of help. The question I always ask my daughter when a boy is bothering her is "did you punch him in the nose?" Cause if you get a surprise shot to the nose you're done for a good 3 minutes.

 

[JLeigh34]

Oh come on I'm not that creepy!

Sorry I couldn't be of help. The question I always ask my daughter when a boy is bothering her is "did you punch him in the nose?" Cause if you get a surprise shot to the nose you're done for a good 3 minutes.

Lol I'd love to sock him in the face. He's so creepy that it actually pisses me off every time he comes to my desk. He just came by for a visit and asked why I looked so angry. I said I was in the middle of something and did not want to be interrupted. So he continued to stand there and ask mundane questions.


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[Cerebral]

I would say the next time you see him walking toward your desk, pretend to be on the phone with your boyfriend. Maybe he might back off if he thinks you're already involved.

 

[Gustavus Adolphus]

Did you ever think of telling him to leave you alone?

 

[Monk]

Maybe express concern to a manager or something too.

 

[JLeigh34]

I would say the next time you see him walking toward your desk, pretend to be on the phone with your boyfriend. Maybe he might back off if he thinks you're already involved.

I doubt it. Dude is married and hates his wife. So apparently he thinks I'm not only okay with dating a creep but also being an adulterer.

Did you ever think of telling him to leave you alone?

Yes. I chewed him out on Friday. All he did was chuckle and say he enjoys messing with me because he thinks it's funny and cute to see me annoyed.


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[JLeigh34]

Maybe express concern to a manager or something too.

Thought about that, too. I casually mentioned it to my manager a few weeks ago and he seemed to think it was funny and poo-poo'd my concerns.


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[Penny Traitor]

He just came by for a visit and asked why I looked so angry. I said I was in the middle of something and did not want to be interrupted. So he continued to stand there and ask mundane questions.

You had your opening right there.

"Why do you look so angry?"

"Because you are back in my workspace wasting both of our time. This has gone on for too long and far too often. I don't know what you are getting out of this, but all I am getting is irritated. I don't want to be your friend or anything else...I just want to do my job."

Point is..be direct. You don't have to raise your voice, curse or call him names. You do need to be direct with him though. If that does not work...**** HR...I would go direct to his supervisor and fill that person in on how this creep is spending his work days.

 

[JLeigh34]

We have the same manager but I like the way you worded that. I think something like that could work. I'm just kind of a coward when it comes to hurting people's feelings. I need to buck up.


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[Monk]

I doubt it. Dude is married and hates his wife. So apparently he thinks I'm not only okay with dating a creep but also being an adulterer.



Yes. I chewed him out on Friday. All he did was chuckle and say he enjoys messing with me because he thinks it's funny and cute to see me annoyed.


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Get a Bible and learn a bunch of scripture concerning adultery and quote it constantly.

Srsly though, there is a *** dude at where I work. I promise I'm not homophobic at all but he'll do stuff that is more annoying than anything. Especially when you're carrying something. Several people have complained but management just laughs. I think they're scared to try and reprimand him.

 

[JLeigh34]

Get a Bible and learn a bunch of scripture concerning adultery and quote it constantly.

Srsly though, there is a *** dude at where I work. I promise I'm not homophobic at all but he'll do stuff that is more annoying than anything. Especially when you're carrying something. Several people have complained but management just laughs. I think they're scared to try and reprimand him.

Our management seems to be frightened of everything. He asked me to be his date to something once and I told him to take his wife, which wigged him out lol. Maybe I'll just ask about her every time he comes to my desk. "Hey, how's that wife doing? What were your wedding vows like? Is your anniversary coming up? Maybe you guys should have another baby!"


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[Monk]

"Tell your wife I'd like to meet for drinks sometime"

 

[Dogstar]

Tell the schmuck to knock it off. Straight up. Along the lines of, "I'm here to do my job and I don't need your distractions. Please stop." Don't make smart alecky comments about his wife. If he truly doesn't care about his marriage, those words aren't going to mean shit to him anyway.

BTW if you have the same HR person as your friend, then you have a moron for an HR person. A competent HR person would nip that crap in the bud to avoid the situation from blossoming into a legal mess.

 

[JLeigh34]

Tell the schmuck to knock it off. Straight up. Along the lines of, "I'm here to do my job and I don't need your distractions. Please stop." Don't make smart alecky comments about his wife. If he truly doesn't care about his marriage, those words aren't going to mean shit to him anyway.

BTW if you have the same HR person as your friend, then you have a moron for an HR person. A competent HR person would nip that crap in the bud to avoid the situation from blossoming into a legal mess.

You'd think so. They seem to think all of the women in my office are whores who are asking for it. I've had a few ladies tell me of similar experiences. I work for a huge corporation so it's really surprising that they let shit like that go on.


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[Hbkrusso]

I was inna relationship with a chick once who it turns out she was fuckin crazy so I broke up with her and tried to just cut my losses unfortuanatly I live inna small town so after she raped my car and beat up 3 of my dates I finally just throat punched the *****. never had another problem so theres your answer throat punch the ******

 

[ShiftyDevil]

As people have mentioned be as direct as possible. If he continue tell your manager it's negatively impacting your ability to do your job, and reducing the quality and quantity of your output. I'm willing to be your manager will give a shit if you phrase it that way.

If neither works go to HR, they're there for a reason.

 

[DrGonzo]

... I'm just kind of a coward when it comes to hurting people's feelings. ...Tapatalk

He knows that and it's why he continues harrassing you. Quit worrying whether anyone thinks you're a *****. Creepy guys will use that to be as creepy as you'll let them.

As for management not backing you, that's a real concern and I won't give you any advice except to trust your own best thinking. I know that a lot of women who have had to escalate complaints up the chain of command at work, or to the EEOC, have not been real happy with the outcome. It sucks but that's the society we live in.

 

[JLeigh34]

Just put him on ignore.
--Rush

I wish it were that simple! I haven't even made eye contact with the dude in a few months, which I see as the ultimate way of dismissing someone but he still won't take a hint.


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[JLeigh34]

But even putting someone on ignore isn't that simple. I put nwfisch on ignore several years ago, and he still creeps me.

Well he probably loves you and you should be flattered.


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