Back in the day, one of our locations had a terrible layout.
It was a leased building not particularly suited to our needs, but any port in a storm.
My buddy drew the short straw on office selection.
Last one down a dead end hall, and the back wall of his office shared a wall with the women's bathroom.
The kicker was, the hallway facing side of his office was glass.
He was acutely aware of who pooped nice and quiet and who sounded like a poisoned water Buffalo.
Since we all behaved like children, every time an office lady strolled down the hall, we would conference call him for a report.
One of the girls would go to quarter beer night with us on Wed. Nights, and we quickly learned she paid the price on Thursdays.
Our buddy said it was like clockwork- at some point she would wander down the hall and he would hear ungodly noises 3 feet away from him through paper thin walls.
We of course had to hear.
Thursday rolls around, she strolls down the hall kind of hunched- looking, and the moment the ladies room door closed we all ran down to bills office.
I kid you not- it started with a booming, echoing hollow toilet blast and quickly devolved to a sputtering hose/empty ketchup bottle type splattering... then it sounded like someone dumping a bucket of mud and rocks in to a swimming pool.
We were dying trying to hold in the laughter.
One dude started snickering, but we held strong.
The noises tapered off.
Complete silence.
Another booming fart that trailed off in to a hiss.
A liquid gushing sound, followed by a ridiculous string of poppers.
We started giggling.
We hear a soft voice from the other side of the wall..."is someone listening?"
Bill says "no".
We all explode with laughter. She is calling us assholes and sick fucks.
On Friday we all get pulled in to the h.r. office.
The dude has no idea what to do.
He says he heard about the incident, he feels for the girl, but couldn't find any rules we broke.
He then says we shouldn't have laughed.
Fast forward 2 weeks, bill and the h.r. dude swap offices because no ladies would shit if Bill was there.
It took the h.r. dude less than a week to abandon the office and turn it in to a storage area.
He said there was no way he could sit and listen to that all day and still have a working relationship with the ladies of the office.