jakobeast
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- May 15, 2010
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So I got a question for ya.
When people agree to do a simple grab bag for Christmas, shouldn’t that be it?
If one party buys a bunch of gifts for another, that other party feels like a jerk, cheapskate, and in general, feels like a heel.
Now, here’s another query: what should that other party do? Open them? Not open them?
A little back story.
Yes, this is involves the wife and I. The relationship between her and her family is a bit strained. Mom is fine, albeit a bit strange, but what mother isn’t. Dad is a bit of a dick. Makes comments about appearances, is totally disengaged when it comes to gatherings. Plopped down in front of the tv, flipping through channels, not paying attention. Just generally unpleasant to be around. The sister is just the opposite of us, and sometimes it rubs the wrong way.
We didn’t want to go over there in the first place. I know that sounds bad, but it is what it is. It seems strained, all the time. I personally feel on edge, carefully choosing my words, on guard for anything that might happen or what might be said. We both generally feel judged, a little picked on, and uncomfortable.
We had agreed to do a grab bag. We are all adults, and are able to afford things we want. For instance, during the year, if there is something I want, I just simply go buy it. The things I can’t afford, I wouldn’t want someone buy either. So we agreed to a simple grab bag, of about 25 bucks, and just gift cards. Simple and useful, in my eyes anyway.
So we go over there, things were ok, about what we had expected. Grab bag was a success, as everyone was happy with what they got. As we are getting our coats on and getting ready to leave, the mudder-in-law comes out of nowhere with 3 garbage bags full of gifts. She says take them with you and open them later.
So now, the wife and I feel like absolute dickbags. Not only for not getting gifts for everyone else, but for not wanting to be there in the first place. We are just feeling low. I understand that her Mom did it out of the kindness of her heart, and that it came from a place of love. However, the cynic in me can’t help but feel she did that to make us feel guilty. I know she didn’t, but like I said, that is the cynic in my brain.
So now the question becomes, what do we do? If we don’t open them, her Mom’s feelings will be hurt. If we open them, each tear of the paper will rip at our soul.
Don't get me wrong, I feel kinda like an idiot. I know Christmas isn't about gifts and all that. I personally think this time of year is meant for reflection. Taking stock of your life and so on. But this is a bit of a curve ball.
What would you do in this situation?
Also, I know it's poor form to be complaining about Christmas and gifts, but I don't know what to do in this situation. I am just at a loss.
When people agree to do a simple grab bag for Christmas, shouldn’t that be it?
If one party buys a bunch of gifts for another, that other party feels like a jerk, cheapskate, and in general, feels like a heel.
Now, here’s another query: what should that other party do? Open them? Not open them?
A little back story.
Yes, this is involves the wife and I. The relationship between her and her family is a bit strained. Mom is fine, albeit a bit strange, but what mother isn’t. Dad is a bit of a dick. Makes comments about appearances, is totally disengaged when it comes to gatherings. Plopped down in front of the tv, flipping through channels, not paying attention. Just generally unpleasant to be around. The sister is just the opposite of us, and sometimes it rubs the wrong way.
We didn’t want to go over there in the first place. I know that sounds bad, but it is what it is. It seems strained, all the time. I personally feel on edge, carefully choosing my words, on guard for anything that might happen or what might be said. We both generally feel judged, a little picked on, and uncomfortable.
We had agreed to do a grab bag. We are all adults, and are able to afford things we want. For instance, during the year, if there is something I want, I just simply go buy it. The things I can’t afford, I wouldn’t want someone buy either. So we agreed to a simple grab bag, of about 25 bucks, and just gift cards. Simple and useful, in my eyes anyway.
So we go over there, things were ok, about what we had expected. Grab bag was a success, as everyone was happy with what they got. As we are getting our coats on and getting ready to leave, the mudder-in-law comes out of nowhere with 3 garbage bags full of gifts. She says take them with you and open them later.
So now, the wife and I feel like absolute dickbags. Not only for not getting gifts for everyone else, but for not wanting to be there in the first place. We are just feeling low. I understand that her Mom did it out of the kindness of her heart, and that it came from a place of love. However, the cynic in me can’t help but feel she did that to make us feel guilty. I know she didn’t, but like I said, that is the cynic in my brain.
So now the question becomes, what do we do? If we don’t open them, her Mom’s feelings will be hurt. If we open them, each tear of the paper will rip at our soul.
Don't get me wrong, I feel kinda like an idiot. I know Christmas isn't about gifts and all that. I personally think this time of year is meant for reflection. Taking stock of your life and so on. But this is a bit of a curve ball.
What would you do in this situation?
Also, I know it's poor form to be complaining about Christmas and gifts, but I don't know what to do in this situation. I am just at a loss.
