Stories by Vick Ashley

[HeHateMe]

I'm still following this dorkchop since he quit CCS. Since people seem to like story time here in the bar I thought I'd share some of his postings from one of the main forums he left this place for.


In this first edition, a nice story about an experience as a gym rat....

Best ways to get over the plateau where gains aren't gaining as fast as you want them to?


I'm literally feeling like I'm even maybe taking a step or two backwards instead of towards my goals and I wanted to ask some of the experts here what you may have done or recommend doing when your gains are feeling like they are not gaining as fast or as much?

I'm literally eating just as much if not moreso, I'm in the gym 10 or more hours/per week on a daily basis except of course the Lord's day (Sunday, day off rest) and for some reasons I'm feeling stronger but not looking bigger and literally measured and lost a halve inch in my biceps since the measurement last month (I used the same measuring tape and was flat/cold/fist-flexed)

I think it might be that I'm taking too much fiber and it's pooping out the protein before my body is utilizing it into my muscular structural building?

Then,

There's a guy at my fitnesse centre who was telling me that the only way to get more swoller faster at a point like this (he called it a "swole slump" wt*?) He says to me that you have to drop the heavy bells and pick up lighter ones and just don't even count reps and don't even do sets just pump them until you can't pump and then take a small break and eat a snack and then get back to pumping.

Is this a thing?

Another guy hears him say that and says no, he says to me you get the heavier bells and pump less but pump in sets and count your pumps and do as many sets up to FIVE sets, and then pick up the even heavier bells and pump them 5 times max and then go home, eat a huge meal and go straight to bed.

Which one works better?

Also, anyone into x-fitness? Like the one where you throw tires around and run from dobermans and do stuff that you would do in real life like if you had a tough lunchpail blue-collared type of job?


- Vick Ashley

 

[ZOMBIE@CTESPN]

Who?

 

[Urblock]

Run from Dobermans. :lmao:

 

[Hawkeye OG]

Is this a story?

 

[HeHateMe]

Thoughts on Beards:

Why do all of these ignoramuses think that beards are like actually a thing and think it makes them look like they are tough-guys or "edgy" when it absolutely doesn't???


So I started going to a new fitness centre last week and it appears that there was some sort of an agreement amongst all of the male members to have beards or some sort of an attempt at a bearded-face like even just stubbled chins or underneath the chin but shaved to shape the stubble as if it were intentional and manicured? Like, why is this now a thing for young men and old a-like, like I'm talking about non-Muslim looking men and definitely not Punjabi or Seiks or orthodox Jewish men but regular American white men?

This was like a thing for a while and I didn't even try it because it's literally scratchy and was a turn-off for my gf at the time when it was starting to be "fashionable" but now it's like everyone has officially jumped onto the bannedwagon and they look "REDONKULOUS" like want-a-be garden gnomes/hobos/bears (the *** leather men, not the mammal) I mean, are you ****ing kidding me? I even saw this guy in the dressing room rubbing "beard oil" onto his face which was barely bearded and taking a selfie from an angle underneath his chin to try to high-light the shadow of his stubbly face. What a moronic and poseur thing to do - (that was what I was thinking to my self when I saw that)

Beards are not for most men and these nit-wits walk around like their job is chopping down trees when they are probably working in Information Technology. Literally shaking my non-bearded head at this.

- Vick Ashley

 

[Urblock]

Grow a beard every winter but I do work outside. Also hate shaving.

 

[Hawkeye OG]

Grow a beard every winter but I do work outside. Also hate shaving.

I used to do that too. Beard in the winter and shave in the summer and then I got tired of buying razor blades and said **** it. Beard all the time now. I do look kinda like a lumberjack if a wear a flannel or something, but I don't work in Information Technology.

 

[ruprecht]

I may need some more samples, but I'd like to offer this young man a book deal

 

[HeHateMe]

Here's an interesting anecdote of a traffic accident:


Got literally rear-ended by the car behind me at a red stop-light!

What is the matter with poorly-skilled motorists when they get behind the wheel AND decide it's okay to be engaging in texting whilst driving their cars? I will never understand it. I was at a stopped light and was sending a quick snap-chat snap to my snap friends and the light changed so I go to shift from parked to put my car into gear and this lady behind me was not paying attention to the FACT my car had not begun to move just as the light had just changed because she was texting, and hit my car with her car in the rear of my car and literally demolished my rear bumper of my car with hers with the impact, probably going about 15 miles and hour but it still shook me.

I hope her insurance is good because my neck is feeling sore today and I'm thinking about calling an attorney to pursue her in court!


- Vick Ashley

 

[number51]

Thoughts on Beards:

Why do all of these ignoramuses think that beards are like actually a thing and think it makes them look like they are tough-guys or "edgy" when it absolutely doesn't???


So I started going to a new fitness centre last week and it appears that there was some sort of an agreement amongst all of the male members to have beards or some sort of an attempt at a bearded-face like even just stubbled chins or underneath the chin but shaved to shape the stubble as if it were intentional and manicured? Like, why is this now a thing for young men and old a-like, like I'm talking about non-Muslim looking men and definitely not Punjabi or Seiks or orthodox Jewish men but regular American white men?

This was like a thing for a while and I didn't even try it because it's literally scratchy and was a turn-off for my gf at the time when it was starting to be "fashionable" but now it's like everyone has officially jumped onto the bannedwagon and they look "REDONKULOUS" like want-a-be garden gnomes/hobos/bears (the *** leather men, not the mammal) I mean, are you ****ing kidding me? I even saw this guy in the dressing room rubbing "beard oil" onto his face which was barely bearded and taking a selfie from an angle underneath his chin to try to high-light the shadow of his stubbly face. What a moronic and poseur thing to do - (that was what I was thinking to my self when I saw that)

Beards are not for most men and these nit-wits walk around like their job is chopping down trees when they are probably working in Information Technology. Literally shaking my non-bearded head at this.

- Vick Ashley

I am so disappointed, I thought you were better than this. The entire thing is practically a word for word ripoff of a youtube beard video made by rappist Professor Brother. I guess plagiarism is just something that happens now on CCS, I expect it from some of the lower lifeforms, but not you Vick, #bebetter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Ks5j1vjho

 

[HeHateMe]

I am so disappointed, I thought you were better than this. The entire thing is practically a word for word ripoff of a youtube beard video made by rappist Professor Brother. I guess plagiarism is just something that happens now on CCS, I expect it from some of the lower lifeforms, but not you Vick, #bebetter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Ks5j1vjho

I didn't ask and didn't listen to the linked video but I'm pretty sure Vicktor doesn't listen to "joke rap" and he was literally 11 years old when that song was youtubed. But you could be right. Tweet him about it.

 

[HeHateMe]

Disturbing tale of a Vick trip to a sandwich shop:


Hot, sweaty, lettuce sogwich sub?

OMG.

I was just at Quiznos and saw what might possibly, presumably literally be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in terms of a toasted sub. I went in there to get a subwich that reminds me of when my real paternal biological father used to buy for me when I was 12 - a classic "Chicken Carbonara" sub with that lovely delightful moutwatering alfredo sauce and bacon dripping out of it, and behold - I seen this skinny-fat pimpled face asian ****boi ask for a meat-ball sub sandwich with "Extra Lettuce" and he ordered it "Extra Crispy" toasted and the pimpled-faced kid behind the counter says to him, he says "are you sure about that, mister? It's probably going to be pretty ****ed up when it comes out the toasting-station"
But the guy (obviously a basement-dwelling mouth-breather) insists it's what hes craving because his "doctor" ordered him to take in more vegetables into his diet.

Sure enough, that subwich was LOADED up with shredded romaine or whatever they used, and dripping with lettuce-juices after it got heated up.

PIG ****ing disgusting. EW. I'm going to go throw up now.


Thanks, Vick

 

[BaBaBlacksheep]

I used to do that too. Beard in the winter and shave in the summer and then I got tired of buying razor blades and said **** it. Beard all the time now. I do look kinda like a lumberjack if a wear a flannel or something, but I don't work in Information Technology.

This is exactly me. The beard also helps compensate for my receding hairline.

 

[Warden of the Northeast]

Nothing about imported deer meat at Arby's?

 

[KoreanBear]

What about the make out session with that chick while watching WWE?

 

[HeHateMe]

Opinions on fasting:

Why in the wide world would anyone subject their bodies to a "fast" on purpose when the world is literally their oyster of easy to find food?

Imagine creating a world for yourselve where you are literally against having muscles growing and growing into tougher and stronger muscles because you want to be a hipster and have a hipster fasting lifestyle and literally get styled upon by those of us who put in work and put the proper amount of calories into our bodies at regular intervals to maximize our muscular goals. Shaking my dang head but gosh bless them they know not what they are not doing. Modernity in modern civilized times makes fasting a completely ridiculoused concept with how easy food is to access even for those with less monetary abilities, I mean I'm literally not "into" McDs at all like I used to be when I was a boy but even if you are low-carbing it and need a quick burg fix because your biceps got that burning and you don't want to fast for 50-60 minutes you should no doubtly be headed into the McDs for those McDoubles, they literally have them with bacon already included onto them for like just 2 dollars, buy 4 of them and stack what's between the buns all into just one bun for a quick power snack to tied you over until your breakfast is ready. It's literally that simple.

 

[number51]

Eight all beef patties?

There has to be a better way to cool down those biceps.

 

[KittiesKorner]

I would beat the shit out of this kid

 

[HeHateMe]

Kyle Long would not appreciate Vick's thoughts on gaming:

My Room-mate wants to literally be on Twitch 25/8/366


I mean, are you ****ing kidding me? How is it in the first place that people would literally want to watch an ignoramus playing video games or live-blogging in facebook and reddit marathon blog-a-thons about how evil Donald Trump and his entire family are literally blood-sucking all of the blood out of the US population, for hours at a time? I mean, he can't be serious about this but he literally thinks that this is going to be a job or perhaps even a career as well where he will increase his audience "numbers" to generate "ad-revenue" through "consumer traffic" watching him play games and undertake life in-real-time rantings and ravings and soap-boxing escapades about the corruption in our government and society, as if people care? I mean, does he not know there is a whole living world of people suffering out there and that he is literally live-mocking them by dedicating all of his energies trying to entertain and reap ad-monies from ignoramuses, all by exploiting the plight of people when he isn't playing a video game? It's unbelievable, unconscionable, uncharitable, uncaring, uncouth, unresponsible, and downright unrehensible behavior and I hope that he and his fans get locked up because it is the epitome of what is wrong with our diseased society.

 

[Spunky Porkstacker]

This is exactly me. The beard also helps compensate for my receding hairline.

You really think so?