HearshotKDS
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- Sep 9, 2012
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This was fun to make, not what I think will happen but something I would enjoy if it did.
Ryan Poles, desperate to save his job and flummoxed on how to do it, takes the strongly worded advice from Warren and finds someone better to make most of the teams football decisions: he fires Matt Eberflus and replaces him with Jim Harbaugh.
Poles decides to kiss the ring and be a GM in mostly name, leaving Jim as the real driver in football decisions for the offseason.
Team cuts:
FS Eddie Jackson: $12.56 million saved
G/C Cody Whitehair: $9.15 million saved
P Trenton Gil: $0.96 saved
Cap space: $105.1M
Harbaugh wastes no time cutting the fat on some likeable but ultimately underperforming vets to improve the team. Oh and Gil's shitcanned too.
Extensions:
CB Jaylon Johnson: Five years, $95 million
K Cairo Santos: Two years, $9 million
LS Patrick Scales: One year, $1.65 million
WR Equanimeous St. Brown: One year, $1.65 million
CB Josh Blackwell (ERFA tender): One year, $915,000
TE Marcedes Lews: One year $2M
Cap Space: $75.39M
Harbaugh identifies key FAs on the Bears and decides Johnson is easier to extend than replace and that Santos has a few more years left in the tank, both fit into their multiyear plans while extending several of the positive performing journeymen to 1 year deals.
Free Agents:
Christian Wilkins - 4 years $79M
Miamis cap situation forces them to choose between extending their C or extending their 3T, McDaniel decides they are a shootout team and prioritizes keeping his O intact at the expense of their D. MIAs loss is CHIs gain as Bears sign a quality 3T to pair with Billings on the interior D line.
Geno Stone - 3 years $33M
Baltimore loves their young S but decides the price isnt worth the risk of what could be a 1 year flash in the pan from what was a backup S going into the year. Bears essentially use the money saved from cutting Jackson to grab the promising 24 year old.
Tyler Biadasz - 3 years $18M
Hoping to land Connor Williams or Andre James, unfortunately the Bears strikeout and are forced to choose between signing a budget C or trusting a rookie. They choose a budget C from DAL.
Halapoulivaati Vaitai - 1 year $2.8M
Much needed iOL depth to pair with Ja'Tyre Carter in the very likely scenario that Jenkins or Davis miss games.
Charles Harris - 1 year $2.5M
Hoping to sign Danielle Hunter, Poles unfortunately strikes out as the player decides he is not willing to go to a division rival in the twilight of his career. Awww fuck. The best plan B he can do on short notice is this guy.
Corey Bojorquez - 2 years $4M
Determined to replace Gil with anyone, Poles does indeed find anyone.
Shaq Quarterman - 1 year $1.5M
LB Depth who cares
Cap Space: $30M
Going into the draft, Harbaugh tells Poles he can win in the NFL withhis QB from Michigan the QB from LSU, so Bears will be drafting McCarthy Daniels. Poles says "yes sir" and realizes you dont need the #1 overall pick to get McCarthy Daniels. So what do? Much like Luke Getsy trying to figure out what play to call after a WR screen, Poles decides to just do the same thing he did last year: trade down for future picks and a vet. Harbaugh forces him to wait until draft day to make his move:
The Chicago Bears trade the #1 overall pick in the 2024 draft to the Las Vegas Raiders in exchange for:
- The 11th overall pick
- the 43rd overall pick
- LVRs 2025 first round pick
- LVRs 2026 2nd round pick
- Defensive end Maxx Crosby
Cap Space: $11M
Desperate for a QB that isnt Jimmy Garoppolo and driven into a Caleb Williams inspired frenzy by pre draft media, the Raiders decideto do whatever it takes to secure the future of their franchise. The Bears get a pick they expect to get J.J. with, a ton of additional draft value, and a star DE to pair with Sweat and Wilkins in a trade that remarkably resembles what they did with CAR. When facing the media Poles remarks "its the only move I know".
The 5-12 Bears proceed to draft as follows
#7 - WR LSU MALIK NABERS
Replacing Mooney with much higher ceiling prospect, the Bears lose out on MHJ but grab a very exciting WR in Nabers who has chemistry with their targeted QB.
#11 - QB LSU JAYDEN DANIELS
Harbaugh wants his guy, with plans to sit behind Fields until "he's ready". Fields is told he is the starter as long as he shows growth and more importantly good decision making during games.
#42 - WR WESTERN KENTUCKY MALACHI CORLEY
Poles takes a loss on his 26 year old draft pick and decides this is the prospect he was hoping he got with VJJ.
#71 - S USC CALEN BULLOCK
A suprise drop on draft night, Poles feels the value even as depth with Bullock was too good to pass up for lesser prospects albeit at positions of bigger need.
#102 - RB OREGON BUCKY IRVING
Poles continues his trend of RB churning to pair his speedy explosiveness with Roschons power - facing the media Poles mentions "I aint payin a RB shit in this league, find more bodies on day 3".
#128 LB GEORGIA SMAEL MONDON JR
LB depth to sit behind Edwards, Edmunds, and Sandborn.
#133 S WASHINGTON STATE JADEN HICKS
Who fuckin cares at this point.
Depth Chart for 2024:
WR - Moore/ Nabers/Scott/Corley/St. Brown/VJJ
RB - Herbert/Johnson/Irving/Blasinggame
QB - Fields/Daniels - to start the season
TE - Kmet, Lewis
OTs - Current ones
iOL - Jenkins/Davis/Biadasz/Vaitai
DE - Sweat/Crosby/Depth
DT - Wilkins/Billings/depth
CB - Current ones
S - Brisker/ Stone/depth
LB - Current ones
Ladies and Gentlemen, my 2024 "I had the first and 7th overall pick and still didnt get the best player at any position" mock draft. Every thread seems to devolve into a Caleb vs. MHJ shitfest so here is something with neither player.
Ryan Poles, desperate to save his job and flummoxed on how to do it, takes the strongly worded advice from Warren and finds someone better to make most of the teams football decisions: he fires Matt Eberflus and replaces him with Jim Harbaugh.
Poles decides to kiss the ring and be a GM in mostly name, leaving Jim as the real driver in football decisions for the offseason.
Team cuts:
FS Eddie Jackson: $12.56 million saved
G/C Cody Whitehair: $9.15 million saved
P Trenton Gil: $0.96 saved
Cap space: $105.1M
Harbaugh wastes no time cutting the fat on some likeable but ultimately underperforming vets to improve the team. Oh and Gil's shitcanned too.
Extensions:
CB Jaylon Johnson: Five years, $95 million
K Cairo Santos: Two years, $9 million
LS Patrick Scales: One year, $1.65 million
WR Equanimeous St. Brown: One year, $1.65 million
CB Josh Blackwell (ERFA tender): One year, $915,000
TE Marcedes Lews: One year $2M
Cap Space: $75.39M
Harbaugh identifies key FAs on the Bears and decides Johnson is easier to extend than replace and that Santos has a few more years left in the tank, both fit into their multiyear plans while extending several of the positive performing journeymen to 1 year deals.
Free Agents:
Christian Wilkins - 4 years $79M
Miamis cap situation forces them to choose between extending their C or extending their 3T, McDaniel decides they are a shootout team and prioritizes keeping his O intact at the expense of their D. MIAs loss is CHIs gain as Bears sign a quality 3T to pair with Billings on the interior D line.
Geno Stone - 3 years $33M
Baltimore loves their young S but decides the price isnt worth the risk of what could be a 1 year flash in the pan from what was a backup S going into the year. Bears essentially use the money saved from cutting Jackson to grab the promising 24 year old.
Tyler Biadasz - 3 years $18M
Hoping to land Connor Williams or Andre James, unfortunately the Bears strikeout and are forced to choose between signing a budget C or trusting a rookie. They choose a budget C from DAL.
Halapoulivaati Vaitai - 1 year $2.8M
Much needed iOL depth to pair with Ja'Tyre Carter in the very likely scenario that Jenkins or Davis miss games.
Charles Harris - 1 year $2.5M
Hoping to sign Danielle Hunter, Poles unfortunately strikes out as the player decides he is not willing to go to a division rival in the twilight of his career. Awww fuck. The best plan B he can do on short notice is this guy.
Corey Bojorquez - 2 years $4M
Determined to replace Gil with anyone, Poles does indeed find anyone.
Shaq Quarterman - 1 year $1.5M
LB Depth who cares
Cap Space: $30M
Going into the draft, Harbaugh tells Poles he can win in the NFL with
The Chicago Bears trade the #1 overall pick in the 2024 draft to the Las Vegas Raiders in exchange for:
- The 11th overall pick
- the 43rd overall pick
- LVRs 2025 first round pick
- LVRs 2026 2nd round pick
- Defensive end Maxx Crosby
Cap Space: $11M
Desperate for a QB that isnt Jimmy Garoppolo and driven into a Caleb Williams inspired frenzy by pre draft media, the Raiders decideto do whatever it takes to secure the future of their franchise. The Bears get a pick they expect to get J.J. with, a ton of additional draft value, and a star DE to pair with Sweat and Wilkins in a trade that remarkably resembles what they did with CAR. When facing the media Poles remarks "its the only move I know".
The 5-12 Bears proceed to draft as follows
#7 - WR LSU MALIK NABERS
Replacing Mooney with much higher ceiling prospect, the Bears lose out on MHJ but grab a very exciting WR in Nabers who has chemistry with their targeted QB.
#11 - QB LSU JAYDEN DANIELS
Harbaugh wants his guy, with plans to sit behind Fields until "he's ready". Fields is told he is the starter as long as he shows growth and more importantly good decision making during games.
#42 - WR WESTERN KENTUCKY MALACHI CORLEY
Poles takes a loss on his 26 year old draft pick and decides this is the prospect he was hoping he got with VJJ.
#71 - S USC CALEN BULLOCK
A suprise drop on draft night, Poles feels the value even as depth with Bullock was too good to pass up for lesser prospects albeit at positions of bigger need.
#102 - RB OREGON BUCKY IRVING
Poles continues his trend of RB churning to pair his speedy explosiveness with Roschons power - facing the media Poles mentions "I aint payin a RB shit in this league, find more bodies on day 3".
#128 LB GEORGIA SMAEL MONDON JR
LB depth to sit behind Edwards, Edmunds, and Sandborn.
#133 S WASHINGTON STATE JADEN HICKS
Who fuckin cares at this point.
Depth Chart for 2024:
WR - Moore/ Nabers/Scott/Corley/St. Brown/VJJ
RB - Herbert/Johnson/Irving/Blasinggame
QB - Fields/Daniels - to start the season
TE - Kmet, Lewis
OTs - Current ones
iOL - Jenkins/Davis/Biadasz/Vaitai
DE - Sweat/Crosby/Depth
DT - Wilkins/Billings/depth
CB - Current ones
S - Brisker/ Stone/depth
LB - Current ones
Ladies and Gentlemen, my 2024 "I had the first and 7th overall pick and still didnt get the best player at any position" mock draft. Every thread seems to devolve into a Caleb vs. MHJ shitfest so here is something with neither player.
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