I can't believe we're roasting Dustin.....I mean, seriously, I can't believe we're roasting Dustin. What, did Fakebigben not return our calls? Was muh-lissa too busy trying to scrounge up enough money to go visit her pitiful, "I'm 24 and in high-A and still awful" boyfriend? Was Mrs. Rush wrapped up in sending nudes to other boards as a way of recruiting them to CCS?
Anyway, let's first get the most obvious joke out of the way: Dustin is young. 14 or 15, I can't remember, but he's not of any legal age, and even if he is, he certainly doesn't deserve it from the looks of what had to be the creepiest avatar picture ever. Remember that? 14 years old wit a buzz-cut and the smile only capable through a horrible meth addiction, that shit was creepy.
I say "meth" and not some other "real" or "cool" drug because Dustin is from Virginia, and **** all if the only thing to come out of Virginia isn't a bunch of toothless meth-addicts thinning out the gene pool. Come to think of it...yeah...Dustin's 14, from a Red state, has a buzz cut and is constantly raging about how excited he is about his new car, a....you guessed it...mustang. Jesus Christ, if this kid isn't a KKK member in training then I don't know what the **** qualifies.
And Dustin, we fucking get it, you like shitty cars from a by-gone era. And don't try to post pictures of it to make it look "classy" or "retro", because we all know there's only one destination for you and that car: careening down a desolate Virginia road, Pantera blasting through your speakers, a camo-can Busch Light in your hand, the Stars and Bars displayed proudly, and chs strapped to the hood screaming for his life.
If I can go back to Dustin's age real quick, he's 14. 14! Yet all he can talk about is how much he loves talking and writing about sports and how he wants to be a sportswriter someday. Most 14-year old Virginians have other aspirations: win their little league division, make the high-school football team, kick their meth addiction, taste their sister's vagina, you know, real country type of shit. But here's Dustin, at 14, wanting to be a sportswriter, the ambulance-chasing jew lawyer of the media world. I haven't seen somebody set their sights that low since that poor jackass bought VSN.
But in all honesty Dustin, you show a true passion for what you want out of life that I have seen in very few people, and you are indeed dedicated to your craft and looking to improve, all qualities that should serve you very well. Best of luck to you, and thanks for being a good sport.
edobear:
