This needs to be discussed.

[jaxhawksfan]

I guess once again I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent. Does it suck that this kid felt like she had to kill herself? Yes. Is it all her fault? No. Is it mostly her fault? Probably. This wasn't just a case of one poor decision leading to eventual suicide. It wasn't just a case of "bullying" as so many people put things nowadays. It wasn't just a case of failed parenting or failed counseling. You can pile up all those excuses and they all contributed, but the main reason is that this girl was fucked up in the head to begin with. She wanted attention so badly that she was seeking "meeting new people on webcam" knowing damn good and well that not everyone on the net has your best interest at heart. She then "flashed" as she called it and ate the attention like candy. How many times/people did she do that for? So this one guy takes a snapshot of the webcast and posts it on the net, and cyber-stalks her. The girl obviously had no idea how easy it is to find someone on the net (especially given the fact that so many make it EASY). Something doesn't add up about the police coming to her house at 4am saying the pic is online (and was sent to "everyone", whoever that is). If that were the case, they would have turned it over to the agencies in charge of child porn and they would have gone after this guy for distribution.

So then she says she was really sick after that. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks......all labels she learned, or was taught by some counselor. I don't buy that shit either. YOU flashed your tits because you wanted people to see. Now you are sick because everyone saw?



You then turn to drugs and alcohol (because we all know they are the cure for everything). Blah Blah Blah the story continues.......never once accepting responsibility for her own decisions, blaming circumstances as if they were beyond her control. Everyone is doing things TO her, not her doing things and getting reactions from people. She then is looking for more attention and goes to have sex with a guy she knows has a gf. NOBODY forced her to do this. She says "he hooked up with me." Uh, NO you dumb *****, you went to his house because he said his gf was out of town. What the **** did you go over there for? So the guy fucks her and blabs about it. None of it is her fault again. The gf decides she wants to beat the girls ass, and does. Who's fault is that?



So you move to live with your mom but somehow all of this "follows" you? How? Because you are still an attention craving whacko? Facebook, Twitter or other social media? Here's an idea: delete your damn accounts. Quit giving people information and ammo to use against you. She starts "cutting." Who the **** does this? Yes, yes, I know, it is something that many people do nowadays.........where the hell did they learn about it? It is still part of "acceptance" in certain subgroups of people. (Yes, it is a psychic crisis indicator, I'm not saying I don't believe it exists, or don't believe it isn't a cry for help so don't blast me for this part).



On and on, people doing things TO her. Never accepting responsibility for anything. Nothing is ever her fault. She will continue to seek acceptance and attention right up until the end. Suicide: The ultimate attempt to get attention. I don't know if anyone could have saved this girl. Parents, counselors, friends, etc. Those people can only do so much. Am I making light of suicide, no. It has surpassed automobile accidents for the number of deaths each year in the USA. I don't think people are getting sicker, I think they are more narcissistic. Everything nowadays has to be about "YOU". I think researching that aspect might open some doors as to why more people are killing themselves nowadays.



And people look at me like I have 3 heads when I say I don't want to bring a kid into this world.

 

[The Mule]

I guess once again I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent. Does it suck that this kid felt like she had to kill herself? Yes. Is it all her fault? No. Is it mostly her fault? Probably. This wasn't just a case of one poor decision leading to eventual suicide. It wasn't just a case of "bullying" as so many people put things nowadays. It wasn't just a case of failed parenting or failed counseling. You can pile up all those excuses and they all contributed, but the main reason is that this girl was fucked up in the head to begin with. She wanted attention so badly that she was seeking "meeting new people on webcam" knowing damn good and well that not everyone on the net has your best interest at heart. She then "flashed" as she called it and ate the attention like candy. How many times/people did she do that for? So this one guy takes a snapshot of the webcast and posts it on the net, and cyber-stalks her. The girl obviously had no idea how easy it is to find someone on the net (especially given the fact that so many make it EASY). Something doesn't add up about the police coming to her house at 4am saying the pic is online (and was sent to "everyone", whoever that is). If that were the case, they would have turned it over to the agencies in charge of child porn and they would have gone after this guy for distribution.

So then she says she was really sick after that. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks......all labels she learned, or was taught by some counselor. I don't buy that shit either. YOU flashed your tits because you wanted people to see. Now you are sick because everyone saw?



You then turn to drugs and alcohol (because we all know they are the cure for everything). Blah Blah Blah the story continues.......never once accepting responsibility for her own decisions, blaming circumstances as if they were beyond her control. Everyone is doing things TO her, not her doing things and getting reactions from people. She then is looking for more attention and goes to have sex with a guy she knows has a gf. NOBODY forced her to do this. She says "he hooked up with me." Uh, NO you dumb *****, you went to his house because he said his gf was out of town. What the **** did you go over there for? So the guy fucks her and blabs about it. None of it is her fault again. The gf decides she wants to beat the girls ass, and does. Who's fault is that?



So you move to live with your mom but somehow all of this "follows" you? How? Because you are still an attention craving whacko? Facebook, Twitter or other social media? Here's an idea: delete your damn accounts. Quit giving people information and ammo to use against you. She starts "cutting." Who the **** does this? Yes, yes, I know, it is something that many people do nowadays.........where the hell did they learn about it? It is still part of "acceptance" in certain subgroups of people. (Yes, it is a psychic crisis indicator, I'm not saying I don't believe it exists, or don't believe it isn't a cry for help so don't blast me for this part).



On and on, people doing things TO her. Never accepting responsibility for anything. Nothing is ever her fault. She will continue to seek acceptance and attention right up until the end. Suicide: The ultimate attempt to get attention. I don't know if anyone could have saved this girl. Parents, counselors, friends, etc. Those people can only do so much. Am I making light of suicide, no. It has surpassed automobile accidents for the number of deaths each year in the USA. I don't think people are getting sicker, I think they are more narcissistic. Everything nowadays has to be about "YOU". I think researching that aspect might open some doors as to why more people are killing themselves nowadays.



And people look at me like I have 3 heads when I say I don't want to bring a kid into this world.

Let's just cut this thread and run here folks. Calling a 15 year old girl a dumb ***** is pretty much the pinnacle of discourse that we're going to reach in a thread discussing bullying and teen suicide. Not to mention the extremely scientific explanation for her behaviour: "she was fucked up in the head". I'm sure that classification is listed in the newest edition of the DSM. As well as the term "attention craving whacko" which is another very serious disorder.





Everyone is better than this girl and would have made better choices than her and being 12, 13, 14, 15 is super easy and not at all a strange transitional time. They are basically full grown human beings and should take responsibility for their actions, they should pay taxes too and probably get full time jobs and start running the country.



Hating women and girls. It's probably the most popular pass time in the fucking history of the world! It's almost as popular as victim-blaming.



It's nice to know that there are some perfect people in the world though. People who never do anything wrong, or if they do totally own up to it all the time.



Blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blame. No one has any idea what kind of responsibility she felt for her actions, how she would have changed as she got older, how she may have repented, apologized, etc.



Just because a girl has sex with someone or flashes her body doesn't mean she should be bullied or teased. Yes, she did those things, yes it was probably not the best decision, but every time someone makes a bad decision they don't deserve to be beaten up or stalked or harassed. Beating someone up is against the law. Posting underaged photos of girls is against the law. Fucking someone's boyfriend isn't. Is was a bad choice.



People like attention. I like attention. I fucking love it. I want attention all day long. Does that mean people should start hate pages about me? It in fact does not. But they could. And why would they? Because they are terrible people.



I won't like to the misogyny article again because it would be a waste of time.

 

[jaxhawksfan]

At least we agree she made some poor choices.

 

[the canadian dream]

what about the choices of the others involved? i think their choices were worse. i agree with the mule on this one and not because i have to or i get in shit. she's right.



there is no doubt that the young girl had problems. those who exploited her problems for their own cheap kicks and jollies have bigger ones. maybe these kids involved just have no idea how to deal with sex and sexuality. god knows we all do a good job of never discussing it with young kids....shit like this proves again we need to. no more acceptions or waiting for church and state to do so.

 

[jaxhawksfan]

I don't disagree we have very outdated opinions towards human sexuality here in the USA. To me this isn't really about sexuality though. It is about the girl craving attention, like so many do nowadays. Just because it started with her looking for attention on the net by flashing doesn't mean that's what caused the whole thing. (For the record mule, I didn't comment on your mysogyny comment because I don't care if this was a girl or boy.....same situation).



There have been bullies since the beginning of time. Nothing has changed except the methods they use. Can anyone on this board say they were never made fun of for something along the way growing up? Guess what? Kids are mean. End of story.



As far as people failing this girl, including counselors and parents, I agree. I stated that.



As far as getting her ass kicked, she deserved it.



My point is that I don't like the constant "I am a victim" excuse that everyone seems to turn to nowadays (especially kids). What if the girl took a different direction and started killing animals, or other people, and used what "happened TO" her as an excuse? Would everyone want to just give her a pass and say it is ok?

 

[The Mule]

To criticize people for needing attention is the same as criticizing people for being too shy. Some people are introverts, and for them it's painful to have to attract attention and some people are extroverts and it's hard for them to not get attention. Yeah, it sounds messed up in both cases, but it's true. As an extroverted person I do have lower energy and feel worse if I'm not getting attention, even if just from another person or a small group of friends. Extroverts thrive on attention and spending time with others, but not when alone. Introverts strive when alone and are uncomfortable with attention.



Being critical of attention is a personal choice. And I think attention and being a victim are not the same thing at all. Also, someone who wants and gets attention can still be a victim. It's like the argument of the woman who was dressed in little clothing and deserves to be raped. That's completely false, absurd and offensive. If a man thinks he's allowed to have sex with someone based on how they're dressed then that person's parents, and other adults in their life taught them nothing of how to behave around other people.



In my opinion in this case there is no doubt that she was abused, used and bullied, that others took it upon themselves to gang up on her, and used their own rage and their own problems and took them out on this girl. She was a victim.



And she did not deserve to have her ass kicked. No one deserves to be beat up because she slept with another girl's boyfriend. Lots of other people are cheated on without punching or kicking anyone. That's not the accepted response, nor should it be. Saying she deserved anything more than the anger, non-physical, of the other girl is outrageous.



We need to find out more about the pathology of both types of people here, the bullies should not be given a pass either.

 

[supraman]

For me it goes back to parenting. Not just her parents. But of all the others involved in this. Seriously people raise your fucking kids. Also social media still sucks donkey balls.

 

[the canadian dream]

I don't know how it can't be about sex and sexuality Jax. Attention seeking? sure I will agree but how she went about trying to get it is all about sex and sexuality and how we treat it. Girl was 15 years old. I can't speak for girls when they go through puberty and their hormones start taking over but I can as a male. My puberty and young teen life was brutal. And it was all an effect of sex and sexuality. Teens explore their sexuality in different ways. I knew a load of young girls who were expressive in high school with their bodies and minds. Lots of males also. All looking for attention, some bragging rights and all used sex and sexuality to get it. It's all about sex when you are a teen...please tell me you haven't forgot that. Lots of snickering and name calling which was a fall out many times. Things like social media have just amplified the fall out and made it worse for these young kids. The only thing this girl was guilty of was being a 15 year old girl.



i have read threads on fb and elsewhere about the girl and its shocking what some other young girls and boys are saying "slut deserved to die" "slut was a waste of space". Slut this and slut that. It's all over the place with these young kids. And the girls and boys that are saying this are ones with some pretty questionably fb profile pics (if you know what I mean). It makes you step back and really ask what the **** is going on? I always knew a lot of young teens were mean, hypocritical and ignorant but it's really becoming clear just how bad it is. I don't have the clear answers but I have a lot of questions. I can draw from my own experiences for some answers but that's not enough because my teen life was a complete different existence from what teens have to deal with these days. I have questions for the teens more so than I do the parents to be honest. I don't know what it's like to be a teen in the current climate but its obvious its drastically different. Sex and sexuality though never changes..just the means of exploiting it and experimenting with it has.

 

[jaxhawksfan]

TCD, when you explain your position in a way like that there is nothing that I can argue with. I didn't think about this girl trying to express herself sexually, but I guess if I think about it, that's what she was doing. Maybe not the way I would, or a boy would......but nonetheless I would have to say her little game of "they made me feel special and beautiful" leading to the flashing WAS sexual. I witness it all the time on an adult website where women get on camera and eventually, after all the praise from men, they do things they might not usually do. As for the men, whatever floats their boat, but most of the women they heap this praise upon wouldn't garner anything other than a sneer on the street. If women accept this attention from dumbass men, then I can see how a young girl would as well. So, thank you for helping me see more to the story.



She still made tons of mistakes, and you brought up fb and other social media. Well, if I never read anything worthwhile on a site, and all I saw was people bashing me........I would delete my accounts. Pretty damn easy to do.



As far as the sexual attitudes when I was a teen, I'm not a good judge. I was a virgin til I was 21 (by choice) and grew up in a small, relatively religious town where flaunting your sexual exploits didn't really get you anywhere. There were people you knew were having sex, and those you knew were virgins, and nobody really treated either group differently. The insults, bullying, etc weren't about sexual things, they were either athletic or economic. There was a small group who were athletically gifted, and another small group who were very well off and lived in a certain neighborhood. The rest of the people were just regular people. Some you liked, some you didn't. Same as anywhere else. People were picked on, bullied, made fun of. Hell, I was a skinny geek with many really bad haircuts but I got along with most people, and knew who to avoid.



In any case, thanks for opening my mind a bit about this particular situation. On the whole, the subject of bullying is again, taking the victim attitude, where I don't agree.

 

[jakobeast]

Well, if I never read anything worthwhile on a site, and all I saw was people bashing me........I would delete my accounts. Pretty damn easy to do.

And I beleive that is a product of how you were raised. I am in the same boat. I would delete my account and/or not go back, but that is what I have learned to do, mostly from my parents. I personally don't give a shit what people say or think about my to begin with, but others might. That's why I look to the parents. They are the ultimate guide for any kid. They SHOULD be better then any other peer or adult, as they have known the bastard since day one.



However, keeping in mind how it is to be a teen, deleting he facebook or other social media probably wasn't an option. More then likely she would have caught guff for doing that. Maybe not going on and posting, but that would be noticed as well.



While I agree she should have just stopped and thought about what she was doing, so should the guy that threatened her. I am pretty sure what he did was illegal. Harrasment? Or is there another catagory for it?

 

[jaxhawksfan]

I would go with illegal since she was underage, but I don't know the laws in Canada.

 

[LordKOTL]

What teenager *really* thinks what they do through completely though? Most adults don't even give many of their actions a l9ot of though; and teenagers are worse.



Still, this problem is bad on so many levels. On the highest one I see, it's the non-involvement clause that a lot of schools and other institutions have. I'm sure a lot of the adults were aware, but they just din't want to get involved even though it *was* their problem. Instead of doing their fucking jobs and getting to the root of all issues and helping kids and teens deal with issues in a mature fashion (for both the girl and her tormentors), they took a "not my job" approach. It sickens me.



Then it's the parents. Unfortunately there's no way we can revoke parent status until people prove themselves responsible without getting orwellian on society, but in regards to TCD's comment about parents and the "me" mindset, it's goes a generation back from ours. The babyboomers started that clusterfuckery of putting themselves over their kids. For our generation it's been "monkey see monkey do" with the added "benefit" of social media to distract them from their job of being parents. Plus add in the fact that teaching keds about sex in america has always been a day late and a dollar short.



While ignorance is no exuse, I still think she got a raw deal. Apparently no one thought it was their job to teach her about exposing yourself on the internet and cheating. Even though most of us would think it's common sense, remember she was a teenager and for as little common sense that the average adult has, teenagers have less.

 

[winos5]

I blame Canadians...



and since it happened in Vancouver, Canuck fan

 

[The Count Dante]

Ya know, when I was a kid, I was told not to talk to strangers and if a stranger told me to go with them or do something, I was to go to an adult that I knew or get away from the situation. Has that rule changed as technology progressed?



I think that the strength of social media on this generation is going to have long lasting impacts that will change the very nature of human communication (I wont be that old guy and say for the worse...)



It just seems like technology has turned the world so incredibly small, yet this younger generation is more "alone".



As far as cyber-bullying, see, in my day, if there was a bully it was done face to face, sometimes it led to kids having a hard time and such, but it usually fizzled out or perhaps it came to a resolution. Now? With the importance of social media on this generation? The bullying is relentless and never-ending. And you cant stop it. At least with my one bullying experience when I was, um, like 7th grade, 2 guys were bullying me for about... I dunno, few weeks? I told my Dad that I was going to punch the smaller one when he was not with the other. My parents told the principal, blah blah, the issue was resolved. With this? Never in the history of humanity has there been so many ways to ignore/berate someone...email, pictures, text, cell, forums, facebook, etc.



I think it is easy for us here to dismiss the power of these mediums, but we didnt grow up with them as a pivotal aspect of our teenage years. If I was to be annoyed in something like facebook? Sure, I would delete it. Emails? Same thing. But for these kids and this generation, it is (dangerously imo) a part of their persona and personality. These kids have to protect 2 personas now: their online and their real. Parents would have trouble helping there and these kids have to learn the hard way...



In this case with dire consequence.



I have my "you show me yours, Ill show you mine" stories. Was it a mistake for me/her to do so? Maybe. But I can tell you there is no record of it to be shown to the world, catalogued, saved, reviewed, passed around, and recorded forever.



Mistakes were made, sure, but no one should have to pay that price for a mistake of this type of behavior.

 

[LordKOTL]

Ya know, when I was a kid, I was told not to talk to strangers and if a stranger told me to go with them or do something, I was to go to an adult that I knew or get away from the situation. Has that rule changed as technology progressed?



I think that the strength of social media on this generation is going to have long lasting impacts that will change the very nature of human communication (I wont be that old guy and say for the worse...)



It just seems like technology has turned the world so incredibly small, yet this younger generation is more "alone".



As far as cyber-bullying, see, in my day, if there was a bully it was done face to face, sometimes it led to kids having a hard time and such, but it usually fizzled out or perhaps it came to a resolution. Now? With the importance of social media on this generation? The bullying is relentless and never-ending. And you cant stop it. At least with my one bullying experience when I was, um, like 7th grade, 2 guys were bullying me for about... I dunno, few weeks? I told my Dad that I was going to punch the smaller one when he was not with the other. My parents told the principal, blah blah, the issue was resolved. With this? Never in the history of humanity has there been so many ways to ignore/berate someone...email, pictures, text, cell, forums, facebook, etc.



I think it is easy for us here to dismiss the power of these mediums, but we didnt grow up with them as a pivotal aspect of our teenage years. If I was to be annoyed in something like facebook? Sure, I would delete it. Emails? Same thing. But for these kids and this generation, it is (dangerously imo) a part of their persona and personality. These kids have to protect 2 personas now: their online and their real. Parents would have trouble helping there and these kids have to learn the hard way...



In this case with dire consequence.



I have my "you show me yours, Ill show you mine" stories. Was it a mistake for me/her to do so? Maybe. But I can tell you there is no record of it to be shown to the world, catalogued, saved, reviewed, passed around, and recorded forever.



Mistakes were made, sure, but no one should have to pay that price for a mistake of this type of behavior.

That's what I mean by sex education for kids is usually a day late and a dollar short. In spite of the i-net being popular outside of the geeks for more than 15 years, it seems like only now are parents *starting* to trach kids (if they could be arsed to teach the kids at all), that what goes onto the Internet is there for EVERYONE to view forever. I don't think it's generally better or worse, but it's a new paradigm in social interaction that it seems that society and parents alike are ill-equiped to deal with.



I have to say, though, the big issue Is that people *are* dismising the power of social media rather than taking them into huge account, which they need to. I find that you almost have to look at it as "the same" as real life as opposed to differentiating. When you're posting something on social media, the real-life analogue applies as well: what are the consequences of anyone within earshot hearing what you're saying? Webcamming a pic of your tits to some guy is the same as letting some guy take tit-photos of you--and keep the negatives; the guy can still show it to all of his friends, make copies, and distribute it en masse. Why should the activities be look at as any different since they are analogues of each other?



Same with the words you post. Posting on your facebook profile that you called in sick to get out of work is like calling in sick to get out of work and appearing on camera at Wrigley Field.



And in another analogue to real life--something said or done years ago will not be forgotten. You'll always have that one assbag family member, aquaintence, or the like who just will not let you forget about that stupid thing you did way back when.



I think the way forward is to treat social meda like an analogue of real life--if you post something on your profile, it's like telling the entire world. If you add an access-control to it it could help, but you have to compartmentalize who can hear and see what. I will tell my wife that I love her on my wall and her wall because I don't care who hears it and there's no problem with the world knowing. But, I would make sure if I posted that I wanted to be up to my nuts in her guts, that it's either a PM or a private text because there are those on her wall and on mine that maybe don't need to, or don't want to see that.

 

[The Count Dante]

I dont envy parents with the social media. How do you teach your kid to protect his "online" persona as much as his "real" one? As a long time and career geek, your online persona protection was always important. There is a reason why there are so many accepted places with moniker use and I have always used one since the bbs days. Searches on me without access to proprietary databases reveal nothing. Searches on any known monikers I have used throughout the years will bring information about 1970 Chicago Karate Wars, References to post apocalyptic cinema, or tongue in cheek religious reference.



(Not that my name is a secret or special or some crap, but it is part of protecting that online persona)



But for those parents who have not been more than an online user only and not used to protecting this aspect as well, how do you learn? I mean, I had to explain to my father not to send any of his passwords via email. "Why? If you dont know my login name and password no one would know." How do I explain that email is sent in clear text and easily readable by the unsavory if wanted? This doesnt even include any sort of online social circles.



Now lets throw in the cameras, chat rooms, facebook (which I argue people care more about then their real persona and a land I will never venture), etc. Sprinkle in the incredible surge of vanity and self-love that follows, in the already potent power of the human ego, and it is a recipe for disaster for the most miniscule offenses and mistakes. Toss teenage puberty in there as well and it is really a minefield.



As aforementioned by the Lord, as it is turning out, teaching your children that behavior online is the same as behavior in the real is becoming crucial. But it also requires more work from parents in an arena that so few parents are even aware of. You have to learn what technologies your child is using. There is no reason a teenager needs access to a camera on a phone or computer (both of which can be shut down and protected). If you child is in some chat, that person is not who they claim to be. Dont talk to strangers in chat or on the street.



Your reputation in a digital age is just as important as your reputation out of it, even if that sounds so foreign to us old folks.

 

[LordKOTL]

"How do I explain that email is sent in clear text and easily readable by the unsavory if wanted? This doesnt even include any sort of online social circles."



Had to quote this specifically because there's a good real-life analogue to it that most "old folks" would know. In the old landline system, your voice was not encrypted and anyone who had even a small knowledge of phone systems could easily wiretap you if they were so-inclined. Back then I was taught thatanything you say on the phone may not be private--even from something as simple as a brother or sister picking up another phone in the house and listening in. Very few people I knew expected a high level of privacy from the phones, so why should you espect anything different from e-mails?

 

[TSD]

For me it goes back to parenting. Not just her parents. But of all the others involved in this. Seriously people raise your fucking kids. Also social media still sucks donkey balls.

I agree. At least to the point of monitoring the online behavior. You have the power to control what your kids are doing on the internet in your home. Its gotten to the point where parents really need to start protecting their kids from themselves and others.



Also, I don't fully agree with the statement "bullying has always happened" yes that is true, but to compare what a teen may have dealt with even in the mid 90's to now, its vastly different.



Instead of a bullying experience being local, and pretty much buried in the past when you are gone, you are exposed to a far wider audience, essentially being group bullied by people potentially around the world, i.e. posting an embarassing youtube video or picture that can live on forever. i.e. a girl making a mistake snapping a shot of her boobs and the whole world essentially seeing it, not just a polaroid some douche showed to his friends in hs, that will get lost or disposed of.



I think the big thing thats different about bullying now than in the past is the sheer scale. I am not a teenager anymore, and while I honestly dont think I could be driven to suicide, I simply can say I don't remember what the mental state of a teen is. Worst I ever experienced was a couple of guys giving me shit, when I first transferred schools in HS for about 6 months. Thats literally just two dudes, givin me shit, and they stopped the moment I finally pushed back. No one around noticed or cared. I wasn't facing mass ridicule. I didnt really care, it was more annoying than anything.



I could imagine my outlook being alot different, if they recorded incidents of harrassment on camera, and posted online, and people laughing at me for just taking it like a *****, on top of that, this kind of exposure would no doubt encourage bullies to escalate the behavior where they normally wouldn't.



I simply don't see it as the same thing, just because its "always happened" it hasnt always happened like this.



Is there some level of fault to the victim, in the case of "nude photos" "having sex" or whatever. Sure, but kids will make mistakes, not all kids make the same mistakes, but its going to happen, it is unrealistic to expect people never to **** up, especially kids. So to try and flip the blame is a little ludicrous.

 

[LordKOTL]

...and you don't think someone being cyberbullied can fight back? You can always fight back. IRL bullying you hit the gym, build up your strength, and then when they push you around you pummel them into oblivion. Cyberbullying you hit the hacker/phreaker/phracker message boards, do your homework, and make sure you hit them where it hurts.

 

[TSD]

I dont envy parents with the social media. How do you teach your kid to protect his "online" persona as much as his "real" one? As a long time and career geek, your online persona protection was always important. There is a reason why there are so many accepted places with moniker use and I have always used one since the bbs days. Searches on me without access to proprietary databases reveal nothing. Searches on any known monikers I have used throughout the years will bring information about 1970 Chicago Karate Wars, References to post apocalyptic cinema, or tongue in cheek religious reference.



(Not that my name is a secret or special or some crap, but it is part of protecting that online persona)



But for those parents who have not been more than an online user only and not used to protecting this aspect as well, how do you learn? I mean, I had to explain to my father not to send any of his passwords via email. "Why? If you dont know my login name and password no one would know." How do I explain that email is sent in clear text and easily readable by the unsavory if wanted? This doesnt even include any sort of online social circles.



Now lets throw in the cameras, chat rooms, facebook (which I argue people care more about then their real persona and a land I will never venture), etc. Sprinkle in the incredible surge of vanity and self-love that follows, in the already potent power of the human ego, and it is a recipe for disaster for the most miniscule offenses and mistakes. Toss teenage puberty in there as well and it is really a minefield.



As aforementioned by the Lord, as it is turning out, teaching your children that behavior online is the same as behavior in the real is becoming crucial. But it also requires more work from parents in an arena that so few parents are even aware of. You have to learn what technologies your child is using. There is no reason a teenager needs access to a camera on a phone or computer (both of which can be shut down and protected). If you child is in some chat, that person is not who they claim to be. Dont talk to strangers in chat or on the street.



Your reputation in a digital age is just as important as your reputation out of it, even if that sounds so foreign to us old folks.

That I completely agree with. What the **** does a teenager need a goddamn Iphone for? When and if I have children, sorry, you get a phone that makes phone calls, period. I got by without a cell phone until I was 23. a teenager can get by with one that isnt a pocket sized laptop.



I have a 16 year old cousin who is posting shit and pictures all day long on facebook. Arent you in fucking school? jesus christ.



Oh facebook? you want one? ok, I get the password too though. You can change it when you're 18. **** this. No kids for me, I dont even want to attempt this bullshit, the problem is you can only do so much short of never letting your kid use a computer.



Shit was the wild west when I was a teen, we really didn't have social media, but chat rooms were all the rage, and I am sure that was the golden age of the internet Pedo because no parents had a fuckin clue.