Lol. I've taught all of the aforementioned books the past two years with the exception of Outsiders and The Giver (haven't taught middle school).
Your venting does have some credibility. TKAM starts out painfully slow. I enjoy SL and Hawthorne is an intriguing fellow if you dig deep into his past. ASP was meh; my least favorite of the novels mentioned (maybe because I grew up a public through-and-through). OMAM is a good, quick read. Shakespeare is, well, the King...but he's not American.
The American literature that you will be exposed to through your curriculum is pretty lousy. Have fun.