dentfan
No gods! No Masters!
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Way too Early Mock Draft and with some off season. I'm not good at the contract details, so let's just say that Poles signs them to market rates. Also, all draft value and position is from the consensus mock draft big board.
FA:
Sign Chase Young. We get him anyway.
Sign Christian Wilkins DT.
Yup. DLs that can cause havoc.
Sign Jeremy Reaves S. He’s a known quantity from his time on the Eagles. He’s young, hungry for a new deal, and coming off IR. He will be happy to take a one-year deal to make big money and compete with a top draft pick. See more below.
Sign a C — Tyler Biadasz — I wanted him in that draft, and now we finally get badass. Yes.
Pay Cairos Santos and his buddy Patrick Scales. They’ve earned their money.
Pay Money Mooney a contract parallel to his performance. He gets more guaranteed.
Franchise tag JJ. Let him whine. If he wants to get paid, he best show out, or he’ll be out.
Cut EJax, because over 12 million reasons say it’s a good idea.
Cut Whitehair, as he’s already gone. Wasn’t he benched?
Draft:
1.1 As long as Arizona doesn’t end up picking second, trade back to 1.3 with NE. Receive a 1st, 2nd, 4th, 1st in 25. We don’t get a player, as we get draft picks. A haul.
Take MHJ. Laugh at all ‘em mofos that talked about us drafting Caleb Williams. Keep laughing as MHJ smokes the league.
1.5 trade back to 9 with The Chargers. They happily grab Chop Robinson. We pick up a 2nd, a 4th, and next year’s 2nd. The Chargers fall in love with Chop and his potential during the underwear Olympics and goes all in replacing Mack who is on his last year of his contract in ‘24. Their fan base loses their minds, because they thought they moved up for Alt or Nabers.
1.9 Draft Malik Nabers, WR LSU — Poles has shown he’ll throw punches in bunches. We don’t know what Mooney’s going to do. We don’t really know what is going on with speedy Tyler Scott and his hands. DJ Moore has one more year left on his deal. People talk about the QB rookie salary cap. DJ Moore is bringing in over 20 mil a year. Getting two dangerous weapons on a rookie salary cap while ensuring that the offense’s potential skyrockets is a coup. Nabers would be dangerous as a WR that virtually never sees a double team and can soak up the targets that will be there as teams try and cover MHJ and DJ MF Moore. Teams hate the Bears for this.
Oh shit! It’s a trade up! Poles swaps a 2nd and 4th he just picked up and get their 5th and 1st.
(Courtesy of Pick Value Calculator)
1.28 draft Cooper Dejuan, DB Iowa — we jump right in front of KC. We give up our pick from the Patriots and a fourth. We pick up a Fifth, probably 167 overall. He falls because of his mysterious phantom lower leg injury. By signing a stop gap S to replace Action Jackson, whose salary is way too high, we get his heir as a multi-dimensional D piece that would be the perfect pick. We have signed a starting caliber S at a bargain price rate, so we can bring in Copper DeJuan along as he needs to be. If he can start at S from jump, all the better.
2.14 Jackson Powers-Johnson, C Oregon — potentially the highest upside as a C, but lacks starting and playing experience. He doesn’t have to start, because we signed Biadasz, but if we wins the job, he will. He may be the future at C, making Biadasz’s short FA deal a bargain.
3.04 (68) Maason Smith, DL LSU – Big Poles likes his fallen five-star athletic freaks. Stars don’t fall like Smith. He’s the type of dude you gamble on.
4.03 (103) James Williams, S Miami – this is a mean motherfucker who is big and can hit. I’ve had people get angry when I bring him up and call him a dirty player. He’s what you’d expect from Miami, and Big Poles already shows he’ll draft from there. He moves like a much smaller man playing safety. It’s incredible how he can move at his size. Holy shit. Big Poles doubles down on Safety, finding a dude that can spell Brisker, maybe be able to actually play FS, and be a defensive chess piece.
4.04 (132) Kiran Amegadjie, OL Yale – Big Poles keeps up his trend of drafting OL late by drafting this prospect who grew into an NFL frame. He is from Illinois. He plays like a man among boys, and is the kind of prospect that will pay off in a few years down the road.
5.04 (141) Ben Sinnot, TE Kansas State — a versatile blocker and TE like the FBs in SF and Miami who allowed for us to skip on Bowers. Watch him play. He blocks, catches, and is a scrappy hustler. He will be a low key weapon in this offense that is a moving piece that other teams’ D won’t be able to account for and will overlook. He becomes a team captain and fixture at UTE.
5.28 (167) Ray Davis, RB Kentucky – This kid gets no love. He’s a hard runner. He’ll explode through gaps. He’s tough. Drafting a Running Back every year becomes a Big Poles staple. With no guarantee Big Poles is going to pay Foreman and him probably being gone next year, Davis could be the dude that gets the hard yards and grinds down a team.
FA:
Sign Chase Young. We get him anyway.
Sign Christian Wilkins DT.
Yup. DLs that can cause havoc.
Sign Jeremy Reaves S. He’s a known quantity from his time on the Eagles. He’s young, hungry for a new deal, and coming off IR. He will be happy to take a one-year deal to make big money and compete with a top draft pick. See more below.
Sign a C — Tyler Biadasz — I wanted him in that draft, and now we finally get badass. Yes.
Pay Cairos Santos and his buddy Patrick Scales. They’ve earned their money.
Pay Money Mooney a contract parallel to his performance. He gets more guaranteed.
Franchise tag JJ. Let him whine. If he wants to get paid, he best show out, or he’ll be out.
Cut EJax, because over 12 million reasons say it’s a good idea.
Cut Whitehair, as he’s already gone. Wasn’t he benched?
Draft:
1.1 As long as Arizona doesn’t end up picking second, trade back to 1.3 with NE. Receive a 1st, 2nd, 4th, 1st in 25. We don’t get a player, as we get draft picks. A haul.
Take MHJ. Laugh at all ‘em mofos that talked about us drafting Caleb Williams. Keep laughing as MHJ smokes the league.
1.5 trade back to 9 with The Chargers. They happily grab Chop Robinson. We pick up a 2nd, a 4th, and next year’s 2nd. The Chargers fall in love with Chop and his potential during the underwear Olympics and goes all in replacing Mack who is on his last year of his contract in ‘24. Their fan base loses their minds, because they thought they moved up for Alt or Nabers.
1.9 Draft Malik Nabers, WR LSU — Poles has shown he’ll throw punches in bunches. We don’t know what Mooney’s going to do. We don’t really know what is going on with speedy Tyler Scott and his hands. DJ Moore has one more year left on his deal. People talk about the QB rookie salary cap. DJ Moore is bringing in over 20 mil a year. Getting two dangerous weapons on a rookie salary cap while ensuring that the offense’s potential skyrockets is a coup. Nabers would be dangerous as a WR that virtually never sees a double team and can soak up the targets that will be there as teams try and cover MHJ and DJ MF Moore. Teams hate the Bears for this.
Oh shit! It’s a trade up! Poles swaps a 2nd and 4th he just picked up and get their 5th and 1st.
(Courtesy of Pick Value Calculator)
1.28 draft Cooper Dejuan, DB Iowa — we jump right in front of KC. We give up our pick from the Patriots and a fourth. We pick up a Fifth, probably 167 overall. He falls because of his mysterious phantom lower leg injury. By signing a stop gap S to replace Action Jackson, whose salary is way too high, we get his heir as a multi-dimensional D piece that would be the perfect pick. We have signed a starting caliber S at a bargain price rate, so we can bring in Copper DeJuan along as he needs to be. If he can start at S from jump, all the better.
2.14 Jackson Powers-Johnson, C Oregon — potentially the highest upside as a C, but lacks starting and playing experience. He doesn’t have to start, because we signed Biadasz, but if we wins the job, he will. He may be the future at C, making Biadasz’s short FA deal a bargain.
3.04 (68) Maason Smith, DL LSU – Big Poles likes his fallen five-star athletic freaks. Stars don’t fall like Smith. He’s the type of dude you gamble on.
4.03 (103) James Williams, S Miami – this is a mean motherfucker who is big and can hit. I’ve had people get angry when I bring him up and call him a dirty player. He’s what you’d expect from Miami, and Big Poles already shows he’ll draft from there. He moves like a much smaller man playing safety. It’s incredible how he can move at his size. Holy shit. Big Poles doubles down on Safety, finding a dude that can spell Brisker, maybe be able to actually play FS, and be a defensive chess piece.
4.04 (132) Kiran Amegadjie, OL Yale – Big Poles keeps up his trend of drafting OL late by drafting this prospect who grew into an NFL frame. He is from Illinois. He plays like a man among boys, and is the kind of prospect that will pay off in a few years down the road.
5.04 (141) Ben Sinnot, TE Kansas State — a versatile blocker and TE like the FBs in SF and Miami who allowed for us to skip on Bowers. Watch him play. He blocks, catches, and is a scrappy hustler. He will be a low key weapon in this offense that is a moving piece that other teams’ D won’t be able to account for and will overlook. He becomes a team captain and fixture at UTE.
5.28 (167) Ray Davis, RB Kentucky – This kid gets no love. He’s a hard runner. He’ll explode through gaps. He’s tough. Drafting a Running Back every year becomes a Big Poles staple. With no guarantee Big Poles is going to pay Foreman and him probably being gone next year, Davis could be the dude that gets the hard yards and grinds down a team.
