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I think the parents can be to blame too and I'm not saying you particularly. But as you mention the other girl's father sticking his finger in your daughter's face, there's just no cause for that bullshit and I can see why it would severely piss you or anyone off. He's also, in effect, teaching his own to be just as confrontational rather than curb this behavior as he should.I know my daughter isn't easy to get along with. She is very defensive over small things and argues over stupid stuff. The other girl said my daughter said she sucked at batting in class today. I could see my daughter saying that in response to something but I also would have gotten a text from the teacher if she had done that. I'm very aware my kid can be a jerk but I'm also aware it's a defense mechanism that we are working on.
My daughter is a freshman and can also be confrontational, but just see it at home and not in school or the sports she plays. Her sport is basketball and she really just keeps her focus on her game and what she wants to get out of it, a scholarship. And that's as it should be. Getting embroiled into feuds with others would only serve to sidetrack her and make her look bad while also making it a ton less enjoyable.