Bears Journal

[Raskolnikov]

4/4/14

Dear Bears Diary,

Now that my youngest child has been begun to eat solid foods, I know that it's only a matter of time before my tits go dry. After seven years of providing our babies with all the nutrition they need, I will no longer lactate. I'm afraid that I will no longer serve a function in this family, either.

I confessed my fears to Jen. She suggested that I find work as a wet nurse.

Love,
BF51

buhahahahahahahaha


its funny cuz his tits went dry

 

[The Doctor]

Dear Diary,

Mom is such a ***** sometimes. Today she yelled down the stairs at me to take out the trash, when I was in the middle of writing my blog. I yelled back, "God damn it mom, I'm busy! I'm writing about the butt baby offspring of JaMarcus Webb and Will Sutton!" She said she would tell dad I swore when he gets home, for fucks sake I'm 47 years old.

Kekua - You're 47 and still living with your parents? LOL. I wish my parents hadn't kicked me out 30 years ago. Oh well, just jealous I guess.

 

[mcbear34]

Dear Raskolnikov,

Instead of waiting 19 years, you should just steal Rex Grossman's wife and complete his trifecta of misery at the hands of cruel fate.

What's that on Rex's hand a tattoo or maybe a stamp?

 

[malcore]

This journal/blog is not living up to my rage expectations.

#remaininanger

 

[KittiesKorner]

Dear malcore,

Go poo in your hat.

Regards,
Bears Diary

 

[malcore]

I'll ignore the last entry.

4/4/14



Glen: How many Polacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I.: I don't know, Glen. One?
Glen: Nope, it takes three.
[Glen laughs. H.I. doesn't]
Glen: Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I.: I don't know, Glen.
Glen: 'Cause they're so darn stupid!
[Glen laughs again. H.I. doesn't]
Glen: Shit, man, loosen up! Don't ya get it?
H.I.: No, Glen, I sure don't.
Glen: Shit, man, think about it! I guess it's what they call a "way homer."
H.I.: Why's that?
Glen: 'Cause you only get it on the way home.
H.I.: I'm already home, Glen.

 

[KittiesKorner]

Dear Bears Diary,

Which is going to happen first, a DJ Williams injury or DUI?

Thinking of you,
Ole

 

[malcore]

Journal Entry, 4414

 

[KittiesKorner]

damn it cannot see picture!

 

[malcore]

Can you see it now?

 

[1000ftditka!]

Dear Bears Diary,

Which is going to happen first, a DJ Williams injury or DUI?

Thinking of you,
Ole

That's a trick question...because we all know it's gonna be a "two-fer." I'd probably throw in a State Police Beat Down for good measure.......

 

[KittiesKorner]

Can you see it now?

yes! I enjoyed it

 

[Hbkrusso]

dear journal


I think lance is gonna ask me out to the big dance xross fingers. I hope I get my period soon or hehateme is gonna be givin me half his chexx

xxooxoxxoxox hbk

 

[HeHateMe]

dear journal


I think lance is gonna ask me out to the big dance xross fingers. I hope I get my period soon or hehateme is gonna be givin me half his chexx

xxooxoxxoxox hbk

Dear Lord,

Can you ever forgive me for making an internet butt baby with hbkrusso? Absolve me of this abomination plox. Also, I know you are omniscient but did u see wut a Dick desperado was on here last night? Zomg, please have mercy on his hot latina gf... And vash, may your grace extend even to him.

Xoxo, your servant hehateme, amen.

 

[HeHateMe]

Shit. That was supposed to be a pm.

 

[malcore]

Dear Fucktards,

**** all of you. I'm out.

#neglectionizationalism

 

[Bear Pride]

you think it tastes like chicken?

Dear Journal,

I hope the chicken doesn't taste like rotbox!

amen

 

[airtime143]

Dear journal-
I will dispense with the date in order to save time, because i believe the time and date is displayed at the top of this post..... I am increasing my efficiency already! (that is unless you consider I spent 32 words in the previous sentence crowing about the fact that I saved time by omitting 6 key strokes. ****. now I am behind.)

ANY-HOOOOOO, in the words of Ice Cube, today was a good day. No, I didnt **** around and get a triple-double... My achievement was much more of a single person achievement. I had a clean wiper first thing!
I ate poorly last night and had a few beers, and went in to the bathroom this morning with a feeling of dread- I had my laptop, coffee, a book of matches, and smeared vicks vapo-rub on my upper lip. I grabbed an extra roll of TP, and an old work glove in case things got out of control.
After dropping a load so heavy it felt like my lungs were going to be siphoned out behind it, I prepared for the chore ahead.
With great trepidation I pulled off several yards of quilted northern, reached around back and took a swipe.
Being the heathen that i am, I had to see what fresh hell I had unleashed upon the world.
I gingerly brought forward what I expected to be a foul, putrid mess of un-nameable horror, so hideous that there would be visible stink waves.
To my surprise, I brought forth a gleaming beacon of cleanliness!
Fearing that I somehow managed to miss the target on the first pass, I rolled off a second fold of paper, and with what I was certain a perfectly placed pass, and again I brought forth evidence of a pristine pass!

Some may not consider this a victory, but as you well know from countless pages of venting dear journal, that usually a night like last night doesn't end like that- I wipe and wipe, always seeing streak after streak- sometimes I suspect I am wiping a marker!


Thank you dear journal, for letting me crow about my wonderful day!

 

[botfly10]

4/4/14

Dear Bears Diary,

fap, fap, fap

spurt

Sincerely,

botfly

 

[malcore]

food entry, 4414

BACON BIRD

**** OFF