Breakup Advice

[Burque]

BNB might not have a months rent to burn....

This girl might not have the money to burn either.

Moving to a new place costs money.... getting into a new lease costs money.... taking on bills 100% costs more money.

This stuff is alot more complex and burdensome than people make it out to be.

I completely understand that. However, a lease is not a valid reason to stay in a doomed relationship.

If he truly feels it's over it is better to pull the band-aid off as quickly as possible and start rebuilding your life.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

 

[number51]

It is rare to see a relationship go 3+ years and only one person is thinking breakup. After that amount of time together she is either thinking the same thing or you guys are in different dimensions.

If you ever see a relationship with one miserable person and one content person, the content person is Special person.

Bail, be nice, but bail.

And your next GF should know about your 'no marriage' policy. This policy will severely limit your options, good luck finding a dream woman that has no interest in getting married.

 

[remydat]

The thing is I don't think anyone is really that miserable in this pairing. The girl complains a couple times a month. Big fucking deal. That's not being miserable. That's called being normal.

Dude is upset his girl complains twice a month. Meanwhile, at the end of each argument the status quo remains in his favor and presumably he's still getting laid. The dude is literally upset that he's winning too much. SMH.

 

[KoreanBear]

Don't breakup, man.
Just get married.
It's nice~~
Come to the darkside~~~

 

[Burque]

Don't breakup, man.
Just get married.
It's nice~~
Come to the darkside~~~

I am about one month into marriage.

of course, we have been together nearly 8 years so there is that.

 

[Aesopian]

Whenever I'm fighting with my girlfriend something I really find comfort in is my wife.

 

[Warden of the Northeast]

I am one month into marriage today.

of course, we have been together nearly 8 years so there is that.

Hot!

 

[ursamajor]

UPDATE

I spoke with her this morning when she woke up.. Convo lasted about 1.5 hours.

To paraphrase the whole thing:

I was very direct and started with basically - You're over there, I'm over here. If those are the things that are going to make you happy in life, I don't wanna be the person to keep you from doing it. While I still care for you and have feelings for you, I think it may be best if we went our separate ways and remained friends.

She was crying. Said that she's getting her period soon and always emotional and overreacts to "small things" and that it isn't a big deal to her.

I said if it wasn't a big deal, she wouldn't constantly bring it up.

She said she does want those things (get married, travel, get a dog, etc.), but she would rather be with me and not have those things than to have those things and be with someone else.

I told her that she may feel that way now, but she will probably find someone just as good or better than me (which will be hard - as a joke to kind of lighten the mood since I don't deal well with emotional situations) who she can enjoy those things with.

She started to laugh, and then cry saying that she really doesn't want this to end.

I told her that she needs to REALLY think about what she really wants and then let me know her decision.

So that's where all that is now.

Did I **** up?

Well done. [emoji1476]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Hawkeye OG]

She's 25 and pretty mature I guess.

Your last sentence made me laugh because about a year or so ago, I pretty much told her the same thing. She criticized me for not wanting to explore the world "like most normal people." I was like, 1. There's a lot of people that don't explore the world. 2. Even the people that do WANT to, don't necessarily do it because they don't have the time/money. Most people just work, hang out at home, do things with their friends, and go on vacations here and there, but not like to Europe for 2 weeks. I think that helped her realize that we weren't a weird couple because we didn't constantly take extravagant trips.

I mean, if I was loaded, I probably would get around to traveling. But right now I'm saving money to build a better future, and spending thousands of dollars a year to travel will impact those plans. We went to California recently, and I spent $2,500 for the whole stay there (a week). I imagine going to Europe would at least be doubled that.. Which is a problem, because after all my expenses throughout the year, I save about $6,000. I would hate to throw away a year's savings on a 1-2 week trip. Just my take on it.

Women are so caught up in social media these days. They all have the FOMO effect. They see friends and family going on these "extravagant " vacations and doing all of these "fun" things. I put "extravagant" and "fun" in quotation marks because it is unbelievable the length people will go to to get a cool Instagram pic. They don't even actually do half the shit they post about, but just take a picture because they know it will get a bunch of likes. Fucking pathetic.

 

[bearmick]

I honestly don't see the problem. Sounds like you are happy and you told her the truth upfront. So what if you argue once a month. So what if you feel bad that she always compromises.

As long as you are happy and as long as she is willing to compromise then why rock the boat. I think people overcomplicate things. There is generally always someone that compromises more than another in a relationship. As long as they are happy doing so then so be it.

Honestly dude I would say stop being a selfish *****. If she ultimately compromises and all you have to do is deal with a small argument every once in a while then you have it good. I mean Jesus the idea that she should just compromise and never bring it up again is Special person. She's human. She's already doing all she can to make you happy and you are crying that once a month she upsets you. SMH!

And I'm not saying this to be a dick. Your situation is pretty much my last 5 serious relationships. I don't want to get married. The girl generally has to compromise. I used to be a selfish prick and complain about them complaining. Then I realized I really had it good so what was the point. Eventually they all end up moving on but there is no point me forcing the issue. I'm happy, I'm getting laid, and I'm being honest about what I want. So let them hang around for as long as it takes for them to 100% accept things as they are or let them move on when they finally can't take it anymore. In the end we had more good times together than not and I'm really good friends with all my exes. Hell I'm tight with 2 of their now husbands.

This.

Good relationships are very difficult to find (especially nowadays), and too many of them are discarded because they're not perfect relationships. It would be a shame to lose one because people have differences in long term views and dreams, which usually never happen anyway.

 

[IBleedBearsBlood]

Ok, so I've been dating my current girlfriend for about 3.5 years now..

For the most part, we get along great. I still have a lot of feelings for. The problem is, we differ on a lot of things that mean a lot to her. For example, she wants to get married. I don't. She wants to have dogs. I actually love dogs, but I personally don't wanna own one for a while because I just don't want to deal with the responsibility of taking care of something else at the moment or in the foreseeable future. She wants to travel the world because that's her passion, and I have no desire to travel.

A couple of times a month, one of these things comes up and we argue about it. I wind up feeling shitty because she ultimately ends up just being like, "okay fine, whatever makes you happy." I hate that, because she should be happy, and giving her these things will make her happy, but will then make me unhappy.

I've thought about it a lot lately, and I think it's best that we go our separate ways.

The problem is, we rent an apartment together, and we have 7 months left on the lease. I don't know if I should tell her now, like, "Hey, when our lease is up, I think we should go our own way" to give her a heads up so she can plan for what to do next.... or should I wait until a few weeks before the lease is up to mention it?

It sucks either way because I don't want to end it, but I think it's in her best interest.

It’s simple. You are going to have to compromise on some things just to make her happy. If you don’t want to, no problem in that. I would just call it off though since she is not happy ok doing things she wants. That is if she does it for you. You can have real deep feeling for someone but that doesn’t mean she’s the one for you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Ares]

It’s simple. You are going to have to compromise on some things just to make her happy. If you don’t want to, no problem in that. I would just call it off though since she is not happy ok doing things she wants. That is if she does it for you. You can have real deep feeling for someone but that doesn’t mean she’s the one for you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You realize the OP was nearly a month ago, right?

 

[Burque]

You realize the OP was nearly a month ago, right?

Lol he already broke up with her, broke their lease, moved out, and ran through seven drunken sluts.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

 

[Omeletpants]

Jump the shark and join the "other team". She will get the message

 

[IBleedBearsBlood]

You realize the OP was nearly a month ago, right?

Sorry. I must’ve picked up the same girl.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk