Dear Santa Volume 2

[bri]

I wasn't going to post this till later, but I decided we need something to lighten the mood on here and inject a sense of fun. I reinvented my Dear Santa thread from two years ago. There is no intent to offend or hurt anyone so I apologize if anyone finds it offensive. It is an expression of love in spirit with the Holidays. I know it is rather long, but I wanted to include as many people as possible. If it makes only one person smile, it will be worth all the work I put into it.



Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Fight.





Dear Santa



This year has flown by quickly

And it is once again that time

When I send to you my Christmas list

In my best melodic rhyme



I admit I've been a little naughty

Which should come as no surprise

But I'm giving you my very best pouty look

And batting my big blue angelic eyes



You can forget about the new iPod

And the Instyler for my hair

No need to bring that NoNo

Or that sexy new underwear



Instead please grant the wishes

For all my Indianheadnation chums

So their faces will be lit with smiles

When this Christmas morning comes



My list is rather long this year

But I hope it will make you grin

So go ahead and get comfy, Santa

And then I will begin



I guess that Ton should top the list

For putting up with all our complaints

All the craziness that takes place on here

Would try the patience of any saint



So make each of his days full of adventure

And all his women a little less crazy

For giving us this special place

To hang out with friends and be lazy



Special order that perfect man

As the ideal gift for Soaps

Cute and funny, a real honey

And one that won't dash her hopes



Bring PSR the gift of music

To help brighten his every day

A constant source of comfort and joy

That brings him sunshine when skies are gray



Not really sure what to get Nana

Guess I will leave that to your discretion

Just make it unique and magical

That will leave a lasting impression



Make all of Wino's food be calorie free

So he never again has to diet

And when offered a yummy Holiday treat

He won't be afraid to try it



Send Wen hair care products to Ruhtra

To maintain his gorgeous silky locks

And give him the musical edginess

To always think outside the box



And Canucklehead has this fantasy

Of becoming a third Sedin

Oh and since you'll be in Vancouver

Can you get rid those freaks in green



Eruns wants to sneak a peek

Up the Ice Crew's skirts

It's true he likes to fancy himself

The finest of ass experts



FanOf19 is no fan of McDonough

So you can add to her Holiday cheer

By giving her an enchanted magic wand

To make him a toad or just disappear



Since Phranchk is such a caring soul

I'm sure he'd just want you to inspire

Everyone to help their fellow man

In times that are tragic and dire



PMX is crazy about sausage

At least according to TCD

So lots of wieners, salami, brats and Kieabasa

Stuffed in his stocking and under the tree



Bring Rdrhwke a naughty nurse

To make sure that he gets well

For the girls of IHN who adore him

Cause he's captured us under his spell



One memorable night of perfect hockey

For Stu Grimsom would be my pick

Where all of his goalies get shutouts

And all his skaters will score hat tricks



A little good luck sent his direction

Would bring WetCoastHawk some cheer

But in case that doesn't work out

You should send along plenty of beer.



Sth needs to find a new nickname

Little Joe Peep is starting to get old

And he could use something to entertain him

Up in that brutal Montana cold



So please send him out an angel

To watch over him every night

With curvy hips and luscious lips

And a Heavenly body sure to delight



Whiteevo, the Board Vagitarian

Is slowing losing his command

So, Hun, do you think it'd be possible

For Mrs Santa to give him a hand



Fill FlaHawkFan's stocking with plenty of booze

To make all the idiots seem less annoying

Replace Holiday stress with a little black dress

Cause the Holidays are meant for enjoying



Give Jax a night at The Social Club

Where he can finally get that spanking

But I'm sad to say I'm busy that day

So it's another lusty babe he'll be thanking (Continued)

 

[bri]

Chasman, like yourself, is a jolly old gent

A fine example for all men to see

So make his gift extra special this year

And put a Ferrari under his tree



It's a journalism job for Jove23

Cause he could really use the cash

And on New Year's Eve a hot smoldering kiss

That will turn him to cinder and ash



Bring Bubblehead a special compass

As he sets sail, it's "Anchors Aweigh"

To guide him on his new life voyage

And help him always to find his way



You should probably also give Bubble

One of those European carryalls

So he'll have some place to store them

If his wife gives him back his balls



Shirts in assorted shades of pink

For Biscuit sure would be swell

He can pop the collars and look his douchiest

As the enforcer of O Board hell.



RK seems like a man who has everything

So no material possession will do

Just fill all of his days with laughter

And lots of memories he can accrue



Mikita's Helmet needs a juicy case

To put his legal skills to the test

And plenty of interesting books to read

If he ever finds time to rest



A cream pie a day to keep the doctor away

Would leave Bringmepie with a smile

And a little less nagging from his mom

Would sure be nice for awhile



Tater has visions of bacon wrapped cheesy tots

Dancing all through his head

In hopes they will create some new ammunition

He can add to his Official Fart Thread



I think Lady Stu would be honored

If, Santa, you could find a way

To find loving homes for all homeless pets

And keep all species from dying away



Bring Lauren a bunch of gift cards

To keep her shopping all through the year

It will not only boost the economy

But bring her lots of Holiday cheer



Lord KOTL has only one desire

To make his Christmas bright

Get that visa approved for Mišska

And her here on the very next flight



A cotton candy machine for Mary

Might become a sticky situation

If she shares her sugary goodness

With her friends at Indianheadnation



Tommy needs some peace of mind

Of knowing his kids will be healthy

And the comfort of knowing things will be fine

Whether he's poor as a church mouse or wealthy



Bring Bookjones a new pair of Manolo's

And some kickass Jimmy Choo's

Who else makes a Weapon of Ass Destruction

Out of a pair of shoes



Make a Jayden Jaymes clone for Supraman

One that will be the perfect fit

Who makes him believe size isn't as important

As what you can do with it



And you know how Maiden is never happy

Unless he has something to ***** about

I was thinking if Barker could win the Norris

His complaining would never run out



I think Ymono could use a lap dance

To get that motor started

And he would actually consider it a bonus, Santa

If while she danced she farted



A guitar for Trevor would be super

And magic fingers that just won't quit

That propel him into Rock Stardom

With a Number 1 Billboard hit.



I'll have to whisper what to get Beastkeeper

Or you can use your imagination

Just be sure to include enough batteries

For a year full of good vibrations



TSD could use a new hobby

That isn't so hard on his wrist

But you better alert Medicare, Santa

Cause he finds those cougars hard to resist



Fill Wolfie's stocking with Hawks tickets

To make his New Year start off in style

And a full body massage from a guy named Thor

To replace his old year stress with a smile



Could you make The Mule more agreeable

The Canadian Dream could sure use a break

Before it becomes The Canadian Nightmare

Finding naked Jako in her place when he wakes



Boobs of every shape and size

Would make Jako a merry old soul

But nothing would give him greater pleasure

Than to see Ymono working that pole



Getting to know all these wonderful people

Has made me feel truly blessed

And although it's a tall order to fill

I know you will do your best



I'll be waiting for you, Santa

With lots of sugar and spice

The only question left to be answered is

Do you want me to be naughty or nice



Love,



Bri

 

[sth]

I love it very well done Bri.

 

[supraman]

Bravo Bri. That was great.

 

[BiscuitintheBasket]

Good stuff Bri!

 

[whiteevo]

sweet, mrs santa fantasy come true please

 

[bri]

Is it wrong that I can't get the image of Ymono in skin tight silver shorty shorts that accentuate his ass swinging around on that stripper pole out of my head? Is this what it's like to be Jako? I guess I'd cough up a few dollar bills to see it in action.

 

[Ymono37]

Is it wrong that I can't get the image of Ymono in skin tight silver shorty shorts that accentuate his ass swinging around on that stripper pole out of my head? Is this what it's like to be Jako? I guess I'd cough up a few dollar bills to see it in action.

Firstly, Bri this was awesome! This has honestly been the first bit of Christmas cheer I've probaby felt in a long time.



Second, for anyone else who just got that image in your head of me in sparkly short shorts pole-dancing: something to think about the next time you're sugaring your churro or having your significant other help out.... out of nowhere, THAT mental image. Thanks again, Bri.

 

[supraman]

Firstly, Bri this was awesome! This has honestly been the first bit of Christmas cheer I've probaby felt in a long time.



Second, for anyone else who just got that image in your head of me in sparkly short shorts pole-dancing: something to think about the next time you're sugaring your churro or having your significant other help out.... out of nowhere, THAT mental image. Thanks again, Bri.

When sugaring my churro I will think about Bri instead but the problem is due to her avatars I associate Bri with Lisa Simpson. which then I'm just creepy.

 

[Tater]

Wow!! Excellent job Bri !!

 

[jakobeast]

I'm fuckin' crying here. that was awesome Bri. Good laughs, funny prose.



Can't wait to see Ymono working the pole.

 

[jaxhawksfan]

Such a talented woman. I see you even took the time to google TSC. Love it!

 

[Rdrhwke]

Awesome stuff Bri.



True genius.

 

[R K]

Thats awesome bri!





Fanof19 is a She?

 

[bookjones]

OUTSTANDING BRI !!!!





Truly. You outdid yourself.

 

[bookjones]

Thats awesome bri!





Fanof19 is a She?

See? You yahoos just never know who or WHAT you are talking to, LOL.

 

[R K]

Im married BJ I automatically KNOW NOTHING!

 

[LordKOTL]

You are beyond awesome bri! Thanks! I'm sure Miška would send hers as well...

 

[TSD]

you probably shouldn't have informed santa of my masturbratory habits, otherwise that might be too naughty and I might get coal instead of coming home from work to a gaggle of cougars sitting half naked in my living room lamenting the lack of a penis. Well they would still be lamenting the lack of a big penis I guess.

 

[bri]

you probably shouldn't have informed santa of my masturbratory habits, otherwise that might be too naughty and I might get coal instead of coming home from work to a gaggle of cougars sitting half naked in my living room lamenting the lack of a penis. Well they would still be lamenting the lack of a big penis I guess.

Should I have asked him to bring you a bigger one...........................a real whopper?