Farts

BlackHawkPaul

BlackHawkPaul

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When was your greatest fart?
Mine was when I was at work in 1996, and I let a 13 second bomb out that only I enjoyed. No one else was there for the smiting.
I remember chuckling uncontrollably in the stall, with the toilet absorbing most of the fart.

It was epic.
I was the only one to hear it, which makes me sad.
 
BNB

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The perfectly timed fart as I stood from a chair

268032524.jpg
 
Spunky Porkstacker

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Kind of like ... If a tree falls in the forest did anyone hear it. But you were in that stall so you heard it.The fart wouldn't have happened if you weren't there so the tree falling comparison doesn't work. Anyway....

I wasn't able to time any farting I've cut loose but, the best ones came shortly after a couple of bowls of chili and smelled really bad.
 

Iwritecode

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The one that woke my wife up out of a dead sleep.
 
Crystallas

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Time for BHP and Grim to do a Kenny vs Spenny showdown.
 
KittiesKorner

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xer0h0ur said:
Well, I haven't woken up anyone with my flatulence but I have woken myself up. Is that an achievement?
Click to expand...

Opposite here. One time my now wife said i farted so loud in my sleep at 2 am that it rattled the windows and she heard the downstairs neighbors complaining (apartment with paper thin walls and apparently floors)
 

Parade_Rain

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Fart Soundboard is a great app on Android.
 

airtime143

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BlackHawkPaul said:
When was your greatest fart?
Mine was when I was at work in 1996, and I let a 13 second bomb out that only I enjoyed. No one else was there for the smiting.
I remember chuckling uncontrollably in the stall, with the toilet absorbing most of the fart.

It was epic.
I was the only one to hear it, which makes me sad.
Click to expand...

Outstanding thread.
I have many, but the one that stands out in my mind was in an elevator in las vegas. me and a few buddies had been in vegas for a couple days already, eating poorly and drinking. we were going up to our room from the lobby, 3 of us and another couple were in the elevator. I stood next to the guy, and when the doors closed, I fired off a monster that started deep and worked its way up in pitch at the end, it sounded like my ass was asking a question.
I turned to the guy- him and his wife were looking at us with wide eyes, and I said "come on dude, did you have to do that as soon as the door closed?"
The lady started laughing, the guy denied it, and I just shook my head and covered my mouth and nose with my shirt.

It became our thing for the next day and a half to see who could get the elevator laughing with farts.
My second favorite was standing in an elevator, dropping a loud one, and when everyone turned to look I said "That will be with you shortly".


Aside from that, when I am on a high protein diet, I am a huge fan of crop dusting in grocery stores.
Pick an aisle that has a few people, begin letting it out as you walk down the aisle and spread the love to everyone.
 
Tater

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airtime143 said:
Outstanding thread.
I have many, but the one that stands out in my mind was in an elevator in las vegas. me and a few buddies had been in vegas for a couple days already, eating poorly and drinking. we were going up to our room from the lobby, 3 of us and another couple were in the elevator. I stood next to the guy, and when the doors closed, I fired off a monster that started deep and worked its way up in pitch at the end, it sounded like my ass was asking a question.
Click to expand...

Kinda like a:

u-wot-m8-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-1802.jpg
 
ruprecht

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airtime143 said:
Outstanding thread.
I have many, but the one that stands out in my mind was in an elevator in las vegas. me and a few buddies had been in vegas for a couple days already, eating poorly and drinking. we were going up to our room from the lobby, 3 of us and another couple were in the elevator. I stood next to the guy, and when the doors closed, I fired off a monster that started deep and worked its way up in pitch at the end, it sounded like my ass was asking a question.
I turned to the guy- him and his wife were looking at us with wide eyes, and I said "come on dude, did you have to do that as soon as the door closed?"
The lady started laughing, the guy denied it, and I just shook my head and covered my mouth and nose with my shirt.

It became our thing for the next day and a half to see who could get the elevator laughing with farts.
My second favorite was standing in an elevator, dropping a loud one, and when everyone turned to look I said "That will be with you shortly".


Aside from that, when I am on a high protein diet, I am a huge fan of crop dusting in grocery stores.
Pick an aisle that has a few people, begin letting it out as you walk down the aisle and spread the love to everyone.
Click to expand...

I like a nice inquisitive sounding fart.
 
LordKOTL

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The most I've done is woke my wife up from a deep slumber.

My brother chased himself out of the shower with one that, in the worlds of the late George Carlin, "would've stripped the varhish off a foot locker".

I think my late grandpa is the champ, though. While working in the Hartford building, he let one go in the basement stairwell that reverberated throughout the building. My dad was on one of the top floors, opened the door to the stariwell and called out, staring this epic exchange:

"Dad, was that you?"

"You heard that?"

"The entire building heard that!!!!"
 
Wild_x_Card

Wild_x_Card

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I'm the Master of the fine of silent crop dusting. I proudly own my Sulfer Gagoriffic Pew's. My H.S principal once told me to drink warm water before coming to school because I'd launch my silent assault on the lunch room.
 
BlackHawkPaul

BlackHawkPaul

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I farted so loud in the 5th grade that my teacher escorted me out of the room. She was pissed. Farts to a 5th grader are comic gold.
When outside she asked me "Do you have a medical problem?"
I responded, "Yes."
She just looked at me in wonder and disgust.
 
BlackHawkPaul

BlackHawkPaul

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I set a 6th grade class record of 86 farts in one hour.
When you're not good at much else, you take what you can get.
 
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