Job interview - need an excuse to miss work

[Penny Traitor]

Shit your pants. No one can allow someone to work when they shit their pants. You can say you have some form of food poisoning hence you shit your pants. You have to commit doe.

We have a winner.

Seriously. Do anything you can on Thursday afternoon to make them feel so uncomfortable around you that they not only insist you stay home on Friday, but they won't even want to call you. I could try to come up with a list, but shitting yourself sounds the most effective with the least line of questioning behind it.

You do have to commit...so eat nothing but Taco Bell or Chipotle or some nightmare for 24 hours and just let go right there in the office. You think you may be embarrassed, but it will be far more embarrassing for those around you. They won't look you in the eye for weeks.

Hope you get the new job, because your current one sounds about as charming as a concentration camp.

 

[KittiesKorner]

I just went through this a couple months ago and it was brutal because I had to do 5 rounds of interviews and then sprint from the south loop to river north. The ongoing excuse i used was that our water kept getting shit off because they were doing pipe work on our street. Which was partially true.

 

[Rustysurf83]

Forge a doctors letter, shit's easy. I bet you can even get a "medical facility" template online.

 

[CRM 114]

Tater, I wouldn't recommend doing any thing illegal. Forging doctor's notes and making up an excuse about jury duty are not the way to go.

Ok maybe they're not illegal but I wouldn't chance it anyways

 

[Rustysurf83]

Dont take advice from a person that has never had an actual career.

 

[CRM 114]

Don't take advice from people who make things up about people they barely know.

 

[Rustysurf83]

I, also, probably would not take advice from someone attempting to give said advice from their mother's basement.

 

[CRM 114]

I personally wouldn't take advice from anyone who condones doing something illegal.

 

[ijustposthere]

Call off sick, turn off ringer. Done, simple.

 

[CRM 114]

Call off sick, turn off ringer. Done, simple.

I agree. Nice and legal. The OP could even claim the phone's battery died if questioned about why he didn't answer.

 

[Rustysurf83]

Yeah...that might work at the Pizza shop, but not at a real job....

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Kidney stone.
Boom.
/thread

 

[ijustposthere]

I agree. Nice and legal. The OP could even claim the phone's battery died if questioned about why he didn't answer.

Why claim anything? You were sick, and turned off the ringer because you were bedridden.

 

[Rustysurf83]

Kidney stone.
Boom.
/thread

Pretty solid suggestion.

 

[CRM 114]

Kidney stone.
Boom.
/thread

Great idea but what if they asked for a doctor's note? His boss sounds like the type of dick that would.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Great idea but what if they asked for a doctor's note? His boss sounds like the type of dick that would.

I've passed 53 kidney stones.
Some need hospitalization, some don't and you can pass them at home.
**** it. Come over, Tater. I have a small pill bottle full of my passed stones. I'll give you one. Or say you passed it on your own, peed it out and didn't get a chance to collect it. They look like nerd candies. I passed one the size of a lemon seed.

Yes. I collect my stones. You would too if you knew what the pain was like.

 

[CRM 114]

I've passed 53 kidney stones.
Some need hospitalization, some don't and you can pass them at home.
**** it. Come over, Tater. I have a small pill bottle full of my passed stones. I'll give you one. Or say you passed it on your own, peed it out and didn't get a chance to collect it. They look like nerd candies. I passed one the size of a lemon seed.

Yes. I collect my stones. You would too if you knew what the pain was like.

Interesting. Thanks for the info. It's terrible you've had to go through that.

 

[Penny Traitor]

Kidney stone is solid and is another one that will have little follow up questioning as it just comes off as an awkward conversation. Nowhere near the amount of fun as pooping yourself in front of your boss, but I think will get you out of work with little to no fuss.

 

[Warrior Spirit]

I have an interview set next Friday at 10:00 and need an excuse to get out of work.

Here's the catch: My boss(s)/Co. owners are psycho. In there eyes there is no acceptable reason to miss work. Even if you call in sick (which I rarely do), they call all day for no good reason but to harass you. No paid vacation days either and I'm strictly on commissions. I take off less time than anyone there and most years only take a long weekend for a "vacation". Very burnt out.
Last week I had to miss three days to drive to N.Y. for my grandmothers wake and funeral on top of everything.

However, we are off at noon on Friday's although I usually work from home anyways. Some weekends too.
My plan is the ask to go in to work Friday afternoon by myself instead, which I know I'll get shit for but I don't know of any other options.
Bottom line, I need an excuse for needed to take the morning off while not being accessible by phone. It's a small office and they know all of my past medical issues (nothing major) so I doubt a doctors excuse would cut it. I'm not a good liar either.

Anyone have a good (serious) suggestion or idea?

You should tell them you're interviewing for another job because you aren't happy with your current one.

 

[ijustposthere]

I've passed 53 kidney stones.
Some need hospitalization, some don't and you can pass them at home.
**** it. Come over, Tater. I have a small pill bottle full of my passed stones. I'll give you one. Or say you passed it on your own, peed it out and didn't get a chance to collect it. They look like nerd candies. I passed one the size of a lemon seed.

Yes. I collect my stones. You would too if you knew what the pain was like.

Do you smell them?