Wouldn't you say having a high probability of brain damage, unfathomable debt from medical bills, being charged with criminal battery, being sued multiple times for civil battery and losing your job is pretty much the destruction of a life? If not, just how shitty is your life?
Look, I get it. You can't back down and admit that starting a fight because some drunk dumbass insulted your wife would be a bad decision that would likely lead to the above. So, let me soothe what's obviously a very fragile sense of self-esteem.
So a drunk dumbass calls your wife every name in the book at the game. You graciously give him a chance to back down but he doesn't because he's the type of person that bases his manliness upon what other men think of him. You strike out! Like lightning, the man suffers three---no four---- blows to the head. His own wife gasps as finally, FINALLY, her abusive husband who also happens to torture puppies has had his comeuppence. But it's not over yet. His gang of friends circle around you. Cell phones come out. One spectator is actually a live action news reporter and he begins to livestream the event. You deliver a vicious back kick to the man behind you. He flies backward and the special teams coach for the Eagles takes note (you will later receive a job offer from the team to be their kicker). Another man flies in but you catch his punch midair with your fist of steel, breaking his hand. A third man tries to bearhug you but you somersault three rows backwards to escape and then race forward! Your roundhouse punch sends him to the deck.
Meanwhile, the nation gasps as the reporter's livestream is picked up and also the network televising the game covers the fight. The jumbotron shows the fight and your name appears underneath the screen (they checked your seat number against the name of who bought the ticket really fast). The rest of the thugs back away as you growl in a manly voice that they should reconsider their actions. The crowd goes wild, chanting your name! The original man's wife runs to your side and kisses you for saving her from a life of abuse. She wants to reward you and your own wife, realizing you are too much man for any, single woman, agrees. The NFL also finds you and offers you season tickets to every football game, everywhere. Finally, the Secret Service puts you on retainer to teach them self defense.
There. I admit that this is probably the most likely scenario of you starting a physical altercation against a group of dumbfuck, drunk Eagles' fans at a football stadium. Thanks again for the thought experiment. This is fun.
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