The Injury Thread

[Tater]

I find the Warden boil story oddly satisfying.

In a "I'm glad as hell it didn't happen to me" way?

 

[ruprecht]

In a "I'm glad as hell it didn't happen to me" way?

It does have a happy ending

 

[number51]

It does have a happy ending

The boil ejaculates?

 

[Ares]

Welp surgery it is.... doc needs to stitch a nerve back together.

Tomorrow at 6am... im going with nerve blocker in my left arm rather than going under.... been under 13 times and the recovery suxxxx

Dis mean ima have to miss like half tonight's Bears pre-season game, oh the horror.

 

[number51]

Welp surgery it is.... doc needs to stitch a nerve back together.

Tomorrow at 6am... im going with nerve blocker in my left arm rather than going under.... been under 13 times and the recovery suxxxx

Dis mean ima have to miss like half tonight's Bears pre-season game, oh the horror.

Good luck with the surgery.

Spoiler

Glennon looks meh, Trubisky lights it up against the soon to be Arena Leaguers and is anointed Bears savior.

 

[AussieBear]

Good luck with the surgery.

^^^

 

[brett05]

So my youngest kid asks me for injury stories every night I tuck her in. Sadly I've been able to give her lots of them.

I'll give a finger story like Ares.

So I am in my first home, a townhome in Naperville and I am preparing dinner. I finally live by myself and all my co-workers that have hosted poker night finally can come to my place. I am preparing salad and slicing a cucumber with my mandolin. The cucumber is too long for the safety so I don't use it and just hold the cucumber with my hand. (Yes this is just part one of me being stupid).

As I go back and forth the cucumber is getting sliced and smaller. Instead of adding the guard, I just keep going even though it is small enough now to have the guard on it. Next thing I know, a cucumber slice and the tip of my thumb flies into the salad. I see it in the salad and my open thumb including a vein that is right there. Immediately blood gushes out. I hit the sink and use cold water.

I can't get it to stop bleeding. I have folks coming over in about an hour and I am bleeding badly. I decide to try and cauterize the thumb by heating up a butter knife. (The dumbness continues.) I get it good and hot and get so close to my thumb but I chicken out.

I recall that earlier that year Kerry Wood of the Cubs cut his thumb on a pop can and used superglue to shut the wound. I had no skin, but maybe super glue would work for me too. I had none, but I had a two part epoxy mix that fixes plastic. So I mixed some up (I told you there was more stupid) and placed my thumb right into it. Now I got bloody glue and while the bleeding was less now, it's still bleeding.

I call my dad to come over as I have to get to the ER. I head over to Edwards Hospital and they take me after waiting about 30 minutes. The tech asks for the details and smirks. I can tell he's laughing hysterically on the inside on how stupid I am. He tells me that he's going to have to clean it really good as the epoxy is causing harm. After two shots of pain medication I can feel it still. He's asking if I want a third, but I just want out and tell him to do his worst. The pain of him scrubbing the area is bad, but I somehow get through it. He bandages me up, and I head back to the house. Quickly, the tech said a rag and keeping the cut above my heart would have stopped the bleeding.

I get home and up the drive comes my Dad. I tell him he can go back since I was back from the ER. I had minutes before guests were to arrive. I went to the salad and thankfully the only thing from me in the salad was my finger tip. No blood. So I threw out the tip and finished off dinner prep. I was able to play cards that night though I could not deal.

 

[number51]

Welp surgery it is.... doc needs to stitch a nerve back together.

Tomorrow at 6am... im going with nerve blocker in my left arm rather than going under.... been under 13 times and the recovery suxxxx

Dis mean ima have to miss like half tonight's Bears pre-season game, oh the horror.

If we never hear from Ares again do we assume he died on the operating table or just banned? Ares post something please.

 

[BaBaBlacksheep]

I've had a bad case of Priapism since about 8:30 last night.

 

[number51]

I've had a bad case of Priapism since about 8:30 last night.

Consult your physician goddamnit!

And I think that goes in this thread also.

http://www.chicitysports.com/forum/showthread.php/51523-Ima-****-tonight!

 

[Ares]

im back.... but whole left hand is immobilized cept my thumb.... im doped pretty good

 

[Ares]

So my youngest kid asks me for injury stories every night I tuck her in. Sadly I've been able to give her lots of them.

I'll give a finger story like Ares.

So I am in my first home, a townhome in Naperville and I am preparing dinner. I finally live by myself and all my co-workers that have hosted poker night finally can come to my place. I am preparing salad and slicing a cucumber with my mandolin. The cucumber is too long for the safety so I don't use it and just hold the cucumber with my hand. (Yes this is just part one of me being stupid).

As I go back and forth the cucumber is getting sliced and smaller. Instead of adding the guard, I just keep going even though it is small enough now to have the guard on it. Next thing I know, a cucumber slice and the tip of my thumb flies into the salad. I see it in the salad and my open thumb including a vein that is right there. Immediately blood gushes out. I hit the sink and use cold water.

I can't get it to stop bleeding. I have folks coming over in about an hour and I am bleeding badly. I decide to try and cauterize the thumb by heating up a butter knife. (The dumbness continues.) I get it good and hot and get so close to my thumb but I chicken out.

I recall that earlier that year Kerry Wood of the Cubs cut his thumb on a pop can and used superglue to shut the wound. I had no skin, but maybe super glue would work for me too. I had none, but I had a two part epoxy mix that fixes plastic. So I mixed some up (I told you there was more stupid) and placed my thumb right into it. Now I got bloody glue and while the bleeding was less now, it's still bleeding.

I call my dad to come over as I have to get to the ER. I head over to Edwards Hospital and they take me after waiting about 30 minutes. The tech asks for the details and smirks. I can tell he's laughing hysterically on the inside on how stupid I am. He tells me that he's going to have to clean it really good as the epoxy is causing harm. After two shots of pain medication I can feel it still. He's asking if I want a third, but I just want out and tell him to do his worst. The pain of him scrubbing the area is bad, but I somehow get through it. He bandages me up, and I head back to the house. Quickly, the tech said a rag and keeping the cut above my heart would have stopped the bleeding.

I get home and up the drive comes my Dad. I tell him he can go back since I was back from the ER. I had minutes before guests were to arrive. I went to the salad and thankfully the only thing from me in the salad was my finger tip. No blood. So I threw out the tip and finished off dinner prep. I was able to play cards that night though I could not deal.

i tried to stop my bleeding in the sink too, but pretty quickly i realized i needed stitching.... called my sister who is a nurse and dealt with it.... i bled alot

 

[truthbedamned]

Is anyone noticing a trend here? Drunk, Fucked up, Stoned....and on and on and on. Man I am glad I don't do that shit

 

[Spunky Porkstacker]

So my youngest kid asks me for injury stories every night I tuck her in. Sadly I've been able to give her lots of them.

I'll give a finger story like Ares.

So I am in my first home, a townhome in Naperville and I am preparing dinner. I finally live by myself and all my co-workers that have hosted poker night finally can come to my place. I am preparing salad and slicing a cucumber with my mandolin. The cucumber is too long for the safety so I don't use it and just hold the cucumber with my hand. (Yes this is just part one of me being stupid).

As I go back and forth the cucumber is getting sliced and smaller. Instead of adding the guard, I just keep going even though it is small enough now to have the guard on it. Next thing I know, a cucumber slice and the tip of my thumb flies into the salad. I see it in the salad and my open thumb including a vein that is right there. Immediately blood gushes out. I hit the sink and use cold water.

I can't get it to stop bleeding. I have folks coming over in about an hour and I am bleeding badly. I decide to try and cauterize the thumb by heating up a butter knife. (The dumbness continues.) I get it good and hot and get so close to my thumb but I chicken out.

I recall that earlier that year Kerry Wood of the Cubs cut his thumb on a pop can and used superglue to shut the wound. I had no skin, but maybe super glue would work for me too. I had none, but I had a two part epoxy mix that fixes plastic. So I mixed some up (I told you there was more stupid) and placed my thumb right into it. Now I got bloody glue and while the bleeding was less now, it's still bleeding.

I call my dad to come over as I have to get to the ER. I head over to Edwards Hospital and they take me after waiting about 30 minutes. The tech asks for the details and smirks. I can tell he's laughing hysterically on the inside on how stupid I am. He tells me that he's going to have to clean it really good as the epoxy is causing harm. After two shots of pain medication I can feel it still. He's asking if I want a third, but I just want out and tell him to do his worst. The pain of him scrubbing the area is bad, but I somehow get through it. He bandages me up, and I head back to the house. Quickly, the tech said a rag and keeping the cut above my heart would have stopped the bleeding.

I get home and up the drive comes my Dad. I tell him he can go back since I was back from the ER. I had minutes before guests were to arrive. I went to the salad and thankfully the only thing from me in the salad was my finger tip. No blood. So I threw out the tip and finished off dinner prep. I was able to play cards that night though I could not deal.

Did you tell your guests that part of an appendage was in the salad for a short time?

 

[Tater]

Did you tell your guests that part of an appendage was in the salad for a short time?

And have you been tested for HIV and Hepatitis?

 

[Hbkrusso]

So this evening I smashed my hookah base on my counter, it shattered, the glass cut the **** outta my left hand ring finger and I bled like a stuck pig.

Had to go to an Immediate Care and get stitched up.

Besides Urblock getting struck by lightning, who else as good injury stories.

I hurt my back years ago when I was a male stripper since then I've dealt with moderate to severe pain constantly thank god for steroids and cortezone shots and nerve blocking procedures..sure they haven't fixed a fucking thing but I cant even tell I'm fucked up so kudos to modern medicine

 

[brett05]

Is anyone noticing a trend here? Drunk, Stoned....

Unfortunately, I don't have anything to help me out there.

 

[brett05]

Did you tell your guests that part of an appendage was in the salad for a short time?

I think I did. They still ate the food.

 

[brett05]

And have you been tested for HIV and Hepatitis?

Why would I need to be?

 

[Tater]

Why would I need to be?

It was just a joke, but having fingertip in food....