WTF Thread

[Tater]

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.



I had amnesia once -- or was it twice.



I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?



Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.



All I ask ... is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.



If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.



They told me I was gullible and I believed them.



Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.



Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.



What if there were no hypothetical questions?



The shampoo promised me extra body and I gained three pounds.



When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a 20 penny nail.



I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.



The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.



How can there be self-help "groups"?



Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?



Is it possible to be totally partial?



What's another word for thesaurus?



If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?



Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.



It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

 

[supraman]

All I ask ... is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

No shit, let me prove them right as I'm FUCKING RICH. I would do blow off a hooker tits

 

[Rdrhwke]

That's really disgusting. {{{sighs}}} Sometimes I really hate people.

Only sometimes???



Wow, you're a saint compared to most people.

 

[SArmonte90]

I work in Plainfeild. I saw a guy walk in with a New york Islanders jersey on. Then no joke a couple hours later I saw a guy walk in with a Florida Panthers jersey on. WTF?! I wasn't aware it was terrible team day.

 

[Tater]

A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender.







The robot says, "What will you have?"



The guy says "Martini."



The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man,

"What's your IQ?"



The guy says, "168."



The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.





The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar.





The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"



The guy says, "Martini".





Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"



The guy says, "100."



The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.





The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.



He goes back into the bar.



The robot says, "What will you have?"



The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini.



The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"



The guy says, "Uh, about 50."



The robot leans in real close and says, "So ... you gonna cheer for the Leafs again this year?"

 

[phranchk]

Totally fucked up.

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-01-11/justice/missouri.ferret.fingers_1_baby-boy-pet-animal?_s=PM:CRIME

 

[Tater]

Totally fucked up.

http://articles.cnn....mal?_s=PM:CRIME

Damn!

Poor kid will probably scared of animals for life.

 

[LordKOTL]

Here's a concept to get you thinking...



Sports and Music are two businesses where fans pay for their favorite teams' or bands' advertising.

 

[supraman]

Here's a concept to get you thinking...



Sports and Music are two businesses where fans pay for their favorite teams' or bands' advertising.

Same thing goes with some clothes, you ever where a shirt with the brand clearly visible on it? say nike or adidas? Yeah you paid them money to advertise for them.

 

[MassHavoc]

Guess it works here too.



I honestly have no idea where to put this, but I'll drop it here.



[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhMepzqJvIw[/media]

I just... I can't... I mean... /interwebs





I hope and pray to jesus this was sung at a wedding.

 

[supraman]

Guess it works here too.



I honestly have no idea where to put this, but I'll drop it here.



[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhMepzqJvIw[/media]

I just... I can't... I mean... /interwebs





I hope and pray to jesus this was sung at a wedding.

So should make that my ringtone.



but I agree with Mass...interwebs....

 

[MassHavoc]

I really really really really want "autotune the news" to do something with this.

 

[phranchk]

This had Darwin Award written all over it. Lucky for them nothing catastrophic happened.

http://www.noob.us/entertainment/perfectly-safe-russian-slide/

 

[Tater]

This had Darwin Award written all over it. Lucky for them nothing catastrophic happened.

http://www.noob.us/e...-russian-slide/

They came pretty close to hitting those wires as they were swinging.

 

[bri]

Why does Ken have a two page ad in magazines saying "Barbie I want you back"?

 

[jakobeast]

Why does Ken have a two page ad in magazines saying "Barbie I want you back"?

serious answer: it's a marketing campaign. A few years ago, they broke up.



silly answer: cause he doesn't have the balls to move on.

 

[bri]

serious answer: it's a marketing campaign. A few years ago, they broke up.



silly answer: cause he doesn't have the balls to move on.

Well she had Blaine, but I think she was just his beard. I think he has now hooked up with GI Joe since they did away with the Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

 

[JOVE23]

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOOToz9qepw[/media]



what

the

****



only in Germany...

 

[Tater]

ADULT TRUTHS



1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.



2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.



3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.



4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.



5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



6. Was learning cursive really necessary?



7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



10. Bad decisions make good stories.



11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.



12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.



13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.



14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.



15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.



16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.



17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option..



18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?



20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!



21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.



24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

 

[Ymono37]

ADULT TRUTHS

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

A-fucking-MEN!