Dear Ymono

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,

Why are all my co-workers fucking Special person?

My own experiences in the working world have lead me to believe it's because the average person can't/doesn't read. And I don't mean books and literature (although a case could be made for that as well), I mean emails/signs/memorandums/etc. Or they "scan" and move on to something else not gleaming any of the important messages from said missives. I've found that the average employee or customer has even the hardest time filling out a simple form precisely because they expect the form to be read aloud, directly to them.



While I have no real advice for this situation - I would recommend drinking heavily (if you aren't already).

My initial thoughts as well. I then had the same thought you did about the wasting part and did'nt want to go there.

Perish the thought! I would never waste the nectar of the Gods... such "activities" are deigned to be nothing more than idle locker-room chatter and urban legend.

 

[supraman]

My own experiences in the working world have lead me to believe it's because the average person can't/doesn't read. And I don't mean books and literature (although a case could be made for that as well), I mean emails/signs/memorandums/etc. Or they "scan" and move on to something else not gleaming any of the important messages from said missives. I've found that the average employee or customer has even the hardest time filling out a simple form precisely because they expect the form to be read aloud, directly to them.



While I have no real advice for this situation - I would recommend drinking heavily (if you aren't already).





Perish the thought! I would never waste the nectar of the Gods... such "activities" are deigned to be nothing more than idle locker-room chatter and urban legend.

I just hate that the average person cannot be given A and C and infer B. You have to fucking spell it out for them. As for scanning emails, I'm guilty of that myself, I typically pick out the keywords and ignore the rest but I'm pretty damn good at my shitty glorified data entry job.

 

[Ymono37]

I just hate that the average person cannot be given A and C and infer B. You have to fucking spell it out for them. As for scanning emails, I'm guilty of that myself, I typically pick out the keywords and ignore the rest but I'm pretty damn good at my shitty glorified data entry job.

Again, in my experience, in the workplace you have to set expectations and understand the strengths and weaknesses of others. Some people can be given A and C and just set loose... others have to be walked through and even checked on repeatedly. Unfortunately data entry is a job that appeals to many regardless of skill set.

 

[supraman]

Again, in my experience, in the workplace you have to set expectations and understand the strengths and weaknesses of others. Some people can be given A and C and just set loose... others have to be walked through and even checked on repeatedly. Unfortunately data entry is a job that appeals to many regardless of skill set.

Yeah I'm trying to make my way into IT, I need a job that exercises the thing between the ears. This job, I do it without really pay attention to it. I'm either daydreaming about boobs or something else

 

[bookjones]

Dear Ymono:



What exactly do I need to do in life so that I can finally get me some BADASS Charlotte Olympia (http://shop.nordstrom.com/sr?keyword=Charlotte+Olympia&origin=keywordsearch) shoes?

 

[MassHavoc]

Steal them?

 

[bookjones]

Steal them?

Excuse me? Is your name Ymono? Do you have a "Dear Mass" IHN column? Are you the de facto "reverend" of IHN? Also, your advice is overly facile besides being felonious. Asshole.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono:



What exactly do I need to do in life so that I can finally get me some BADASS Charlotte Olympia (http://shop.nordstro...n=keywordsearch) shoes?

I guess that all depends on how you feel about selling your body or grand theft (either the shoes themselves or by stealing other items and re-selling them)... either one of those are potential revenue generators sure to raise the scratch for new kicks.



If those are a little hardcore for you - you could always create a public Amazon wish list and just pimp it at every site you go to on the interwebs... I believe there are a few lower-tier porn stars this strategy works quite well for.



If none of these really seems like a great idea, my last suggestion would be to create a fictional identity online wherein you are an up-and-coming fashion critic specializing in shoes. Build a "boutiquey" following with influential folks in the industry and once Nordstroms or Jimmy ChooChoo or whomever finds out - you're in like Flint.

 

[bookjones]

I guess that all depends on how you feel about selling your body or grand theft (either the shoes themselves or by stealing other items and re-selling them)... either one of those are potential revenue generators sure to raise the scratch for new kicks.



If those are a little hardcore for you - you could always create a public Amazon wish list and just pimp it at every site you go to on the interwebs... I believe there are a few lower-tier porn stars this strategy works quite well for.



If none of these really seems like a great idea, my last suggestion would be to create a fictional identity online wherein you are an up-and-coming fashion critic specializing in shoes. Build a "boutiquey" following with influential folks in the industry and once Nordstroms or Jimmy ChooChoo or whomever finds out - you're in like Flint.

Me likey. That's some DAMN fine brainstorming mister!

 

[jakobeast]

It's true. He would never waste a Guinness I saw him suck a spilled one from shag carpeting.



Dear Ymono



What can I do to improve the strength and luster of my hair?

 

[MassHavoc]

I guess that all depends on how you feel about selling your body or grand theft (either the shoes themselves or by stealing other items and re-selling them)... either one of those are potential revenue generators sure to raise the scratch for new kicks.



If those are a little hardcore for you - you could always create a public Amazon wish list and just pimp it at every site you go to on the interwebs... I believe there are a few lower-tier porn stars this strategy works quite well for.



If none of these really seems like a great idea, my last suggestion would be to create a fictional identity online wherein you are an up-and-coming fashion critic specializing in shoes. Build a "boutiquey" following with influential folks in the industry and once Nordstroms or Jimmy ChooChoo or whomever finds out - you're in like Flint.

should have stuck with steal them.

 

[howcho]

Dear Ymono, I think I should create some stupid product like those hooker shoes and put my name on them and sell for an obscene price. What product do you think I might have a chance with?

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono



What can I do to improve the strength and luster of my hair?

No longer being blessed with a head full of lustrous tresses, I'm probably not the best expert on this matter. However, for you - washing it, WITH SOAP OR SHAMPOO at least once every couple of days would probably be a good start. While we're on hygiene, the daily application of deodorant and proper wiping after a bowel movement couldn't hurt either. Also, washing your fucking hands (again, preferably WITH soap) after you use the restroom REGARDLESS of activity.

Dear Ymono, I think I should create some stupid product like those hooker shoes and put my name on them and sell for an obscene price. What product do you think I might have a chance with?

Toilet brushes. In every shape, size and color. Put chains on them so the Ladies (or Fellas) can make necklaces/earrings out of them, perhaps you could make one with "stains" on it and sell it as used by a celebrity (or a celebrity's maid)?



The world could be your oyster. Let us know when the product is ready and where we can all purchase them.

 

[howcho]

They will likely cost about $1,599, that should make them so much more desirable. Thanks.

 

[howcho]

Truly one I have mused over, especially for the 'butch' crowd or the 'empowered' female.



I imagine that all the slaughter houses must discard the nutsack of any male cows they slaughter. Why not take said nutsack and make a type of purse out of it, like a marbles bag. Every one would be unique due to colouration of the cow and imagine the suppleness of the leather? I wonder sometimes if chicks would dig it or not, holding onto a nutsack. Emasculating for the men in their lives

.



You wouldn't even have to name it, its done already.



Yeah, ok so my mind does wander at times.

 

[supraman]

Dear Ymono,

What steps should I take to become ruler of the world? I was thinking of starting in the russian mob. Because Ymono at the end of the day, I want to ruler this fucking rock. So we can have the great purging of stupidity and nuck fans of 20xx (whenever the **** I rise to power).

 

[jakobeast]

No longer being blessed with a head full of lustrous tresses, I'm probably not the best expert on this matter. However, for you - washing it, WITH SOAP OR SHAMPOO at least once every couple of days would probably be a good start. While we're on hygiene, the daily application of deodorant and proper wiping after a bowel movement couldn't hurt either. Also, washing your fucking hands (again, preferably WITH soap) after you use the restroom REGARDLESS of activity.





Toilet brushes. In every shape, size and color. Put chains on them so the Ladies (or Fellas) can make necklaces/earrings out of them, perhaps you could make one with "stains" on it and sell it as used by a celebrity (or a celebrity's maid)?



The world could be your oyster. Let us know when the product is ready and where we can all purchase them.

Hey, ******, I only asked about hair. That other shit can go die. Like I hope you do.

























Dear Ymono,



If someone has anger issues, what can one do to fix that.



















Shithead.

 

[LordKOTL]

Dear Ymono,



Why do some people think that a cocksucker is a bad man when in reality it is a good woman?

 

[BiscuitintheBasket]

Dear Ymono,



Do I really need to buy my wife flowers everyday? By everyday, I mean that I have flowers ready before she wakes up, then sent to her job, and finally 2 dozen roses when she gets home. I know that she says that she is saving all of the flowers to spread around the guest bedroom for our annual fornication, but it has been 3 years since the last time...since the 5 carat ring did not work, I just need to know that the flowers will.

 

[howcho]

I suggest buying her knee-pads, it always creates a spark!