Dear Ymono

[Ymono37]

Truly one I have mused over, especially for the 'butch' crowd or the 'empowered' female.



I imagine that all the slaughter houses must discard the nutsack of any male cows they slaughter. Why not take said nutsack and make a type of purse out of it, like a marbles bag. Every one would be unique due to colouration of the cow and imagine the suppleness of the leather? I wonder sometimes if chicks would dig it or not, holding onto a nutsack. Emasculating for the men in their lives

.



You wouldn't even have to name it, its done already.



Yeah, ok so my mind does wander at times.

With lady's fashion being the mercurial beast that it is, you may be on to something here. I would suggest creating samples and marketing amongst trailer parks and rodeos first. Or just to Supra.

Dear Ymono,

What steps should I take to become ruler of the world? I was thinking of starting in the russian mob. Because Ymono at the end of the day, I want to ruler this fucking rock. So we can have the great purging of stupidity and nuck fans of 20xx (whenever the **** I rise to power).

Bide your time. Acquire sugar:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAIkPx9dRaA

 

[supraman]

Dear Ymono,

How come women with great cans just can't walk around topless. I mean god or a great plastics guy gave them to you, show them off. Everyone loves boobs.

 

[Ymono37]

Hey, ******, I only asked about hair. That other shit can go die. Like I hope you do.



Dear Ymono,



If someone has anger issues, what can one do to fix that.



Shithead.

I've actually heard about a study where improving one's hygiene can actually negate one's anger issues. Perhaps showering and using deodorant daily would work?



Also, remember to wipe front to back, NEVER back to front.



Were gonna make you a little less gross everyday.

Dear Ymono,



Why do some people think that a cocksucker is a bad man when in reality it is a good woman?

I always like to remember the old adage: "Blowjobs are a lot like pizza, there's no such thing as a bad one"



My own experience would lead me to believe this phrase is a remnant of this country's (although I suppose it may not be limited to only us) homophobia wherein the phrase was meant to insult and insinuate that a male was in the business of orally servicing other men. Combined with the aural aesthetics of the phrase itself, it wouldn't surprise me that the phrase's use may not entirely meant to be the same today, just as calling a person "***" rarely means one is in fact a homosexual (or even "happy") - although not being an expert in etymology I can't speak to that with any kind of certainty.



With that said, I welcome you to "take it back" - please let us know how it goes!

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,



Do I really need to buy my wife flowers everyday? By everyday, I mean that I have flowers ready before she wakes up, then sent to her job, and finally 2 dozen roses when she gets home. I know that she says that she is saving all of the flowers to spread around the guest bedroom for our annual fornication, but it has been 3 years since the last time...since the 5 carat ring did not work, I just need to know that the flowers will.

Firstly, stop buying her flowers. if it's been nigh on three years without any progress in the boudoir, I would suggest taking another tactic. Perhaps her sister or best friend would like some "flowers?"

Dear Ymono,

How come women with great cans just can't walk around topless. I mean god or a great plastics guy gave them to you, show them off. Everyone loves boobs.

While I wholeheartedly agree, public nudity laws tend to make a woman's urge to free her sweater puppies outside the home/bedroom a bit of a challenge. I fear any changes to said laws would allow cause perverts to leave the safety of their dens and that's probably where they should stay.



For you Sir, I would recommend a trip to the local gentleman's club where (with a stack of singles), there are plenty of mammaries on display for you to ogle without much recompense (save that for the hard-working ladies). Good luck and godspeed.

 

[bri]

Dear Ymono,



Do you think this needs some more bacon?

 

[supraman]

Firstly, stop buying her flowers. if it's been nigh on three years without any progress in the boudoir, I would suggest taking another tactic. Perhaps her sister or best friend would like some "flowers?"





While I wholeheartedly agree, public nudity laws tend to make a woman's urge to free her sweater puppies outside the home/bedroom a bit of a challenge. I fear any changes to said laws would allow cause perverts to leave the safety of their dens and that's probably where they should stay.



For you Sir, I would recommend a trip to the local gentleman's club where (with a stack of singles), there are plenty of mammaries on display for you to ogle without much recompense (save that for the hard-working ladies). Good luck and godspeed.

Yeah the gentleman's club doesnt help me see the boobs at Winghouse I really wanna see, there are 3 pairs that I'd pay money to ogle.

 

[MassHavoc]

Dear Ymono,



Wanna hang out?



Love,

This Guy.

 

[bookjones]

Dear Ymono,



Why won't Mass hang out with me?





Sincerely,



This Broad

 

[MassHavoc]

Dear Ymono,



Bookie always blames me for everything, yet it would seem to me that she prefers her privacy over some really sweet hanging out time. How do we remedy this? Shots at Kitty O'sheas?



Love,



Gingerfest.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,



Do you think this needs some more bacon?

Yes. Perhaps some different kinds of bacon to liven it up! Turkey, Rasher, Canadian... the options are endless!!!

Yeah the gentleman's club doesnt help me see the boobs at Winghouse I really wanna see, there are 3 pairs that I'd pay money to ogle.

That's quite the problem... it's a good thing for you the interwebs are stocked full of women who don't let clothing be a burden to them. Tubegalore would be my personal recommendation, but I'm sure you're well versed in finding this sort of thing on the net.

 

[MassHavoc]

Dear Ymono,



What is Tubegalore, I am at work and can't research that. I assume it's something like youporn or redbox or whatever those other ones are? Remember I'm at work. And I think linking things is against TOS. So no pron here.



Love,

Guy who likes nakes women.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,



Wanna hang out?



Love,

This Guy.

Sure. As long as you're not planning to kill me and wear my skin and then go on with my life in a rage-fueled fugue state. Accept no imitations, the real Ymono is the best.



Had I known you were going to be at the charity game, I might have made more of an effort to go... but I didn't want your wife to be all jealous of me. (Nor did I want Jako to feel bad)

Dear Ymono,



Why won't Mass hang out with me?





Sincerely,



This Broad

Hmmm... as Mass has stated, you do seem to value the anonymity the web provides so perhaps he's just respecting your wishes?



Or maybe he's afraid that his long-pained obsession with shoes would be awoken around you and thus lead to uncomfortable glances/ogling of your feet.



Sadly, these are answers I don't have.

Dear Ymono,



Bookie always blames me for everything, yet it would seem to me that she prefers her privacy over some really sweet hanging out time. How do we remedy this? Shots at Kitty O'sheas?



Love,



Gingerfest.

Shots are always a good idea and then a very, very bad idea. However, I do offer myself as a moderator to the sampling and distribution of libations in a public setting as long as they are provided for me.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,



What is Tubegalore, I am at work and can't research that. I assume it's something like youporn or redbox or whatever those other ones are? Remember I'm at work. And I think linking things is against TOS. So no pron here.



Love,

Guy who likes nakes women.

Dear Gingy,



Yep, just another site compiler for that kind of thing. Think Redtube, but they don't host anything, just link out to other sites. I would never link such vulgarity here... that's what Flowers is/was for.



Pron tester,

Ymono

 

[supraman]

Dear Gingy,



Yep, just another site compiler for that kind of thing. Think Redtube, but they don't host anything, just link out to other sites. I would never link such vulgarity here... that's what Flowers is/was for.



Pron tester,

Ymono

Dear Ymono,

Who is the hottest pornstar on the interwebs?

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,

Who is the hottest pornstar on the interwebs?

Oh that is quite a personal choice... cases could be made for a number of performers by decade, genre and "specialty."



I will say I find Stoya quite an attractive woman and Lexi Belle has always entertained.

 

[supraman]

Oh that is quite a personal choice... cases could be made for a number of performers by decade, genre and "specialty."



I will say I find Stoya quite an attractive woman and Lexi Belle has always entertained.

Okay so today's pornstars

 

[MassHavoc]

Dear Ymono,



Along the previous lines of questioning, I think a first annual IHN convention (read: get together at a bar) is in order. Do you think it would work? Do you think people would gather in town for it or would it have to be in the burbs? Much like the Hawks convention, I think our community is just as cool. I know their have been informal get togethers revolving aroudn the Hawks convention, but I was thinking maybe something more formal but maybe with less pants? Do you think it could be done and if so, how many shoes would it take to get Bookie there?



Love,

Nerdbait

 

[jakobeast]

I've actually heard about a study where improving one's hygiene can actually negate one's anger issues. Perhaps showering and using deodorant daily would work?



Also, remember to wipe front to back, NEVER back to front.



Were gonna make you a little less gross everyday.

Lies. That is what you're full of.

 

[MassHavoc]

Lies. That is what you're full of.

And pudding.

 

[howcho]

Butterscotch or Pistachio?