The only thing I've tried is weed. The first couple times were normal and really fun. Just normal highs. But once my buddy had a house party and he had this sick bubbler and he's like "yeah smoke out of this, you'll get high as ****" and I only smoked <5 times in my life at that point. So i was like alright **** it. After one time of using it, I was getting a nice little high. That's all I wanted. Then my buddy's like no **** that keep going. So i took another big hit, and I was pretty high, and I was like ok i'm gonna stop im good. He's like one more and ill leave you alone.
I did it and I instantly got fucked up. Full blown panic attack. (I looked up the symptoms, I had like 95% of them). I felt like I wasn't in my body haha, I was convinced I was going to die and I was freaking out. I got like sad. I was sitting in front of his bathroom mirror like "goddamn it man, I'm about to die" hahahaha. It felt sooo familiar though, like I've had one before, but I never did. Then I go in his room and tried sleeping but had the worst stomach aches and ended up throwing up 3 times. After 5 hours of laying down/sleep I was good as new. I missed the fucking party. I woke downstairs at 3am and they were still going hard so I was like "alright whatever **** it." Everyone did their round of applause when I came down cause they knew I got fucked up. It was like a walk of shame haha. It made me not smoke weed for like almost 2 years because the panic attack scared the shit outta me.
I think it was the orange juice I was drinking with the weed. Because the next time I smoked I drank OJ and it fucked me up instantly. Anyone else ever try OJ and weed?
But the last time I smoked, I started freaking out because this chick left me alone cause she had to go to her aunts for 40 minutes, so I was in her car for 40 minutes when she was in her aunt's house doing something. I didn't know what to do, so I kept thinking about being high, which makes me panic idk why. She had a lawn mower in her backseat (dont ask) and there was grass in the very back by the trunk. So I was so concentrated on doing something that I popped the trunk and just cleaned her trunk by hand. I was just taking globs of grass and throwing them in the driveway across the street. Scooping out grass, etc. I found that doing something calmed me down lmao.
I'm kind of scared to try it again cause I know I'll overthink and freak out. Raising my left arm above my head prevents me from getting too panicky. I know it sounds crazy but I found that online and it actually works.
