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Its not like it used to be, eh gramps?
Fat People On Planes
- Thread starter Chief Walking Stick
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FatBabiesHaveNoPride
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Well, I'm not 500 years old like you are Methusaleh.
This isn't 150 years ago and I've never been to Midlothian.
I travel out of Ohare. I get on planes. Many people act like complete fuckstains on airplanes. But at least you get the benefit of seeing a tremendous amount of talent at Ohare.
But I did forget one other category of traveler that you most likely fall into:
- Elderly Pants Shitter - one out of every 10 flights you take will feature an old timer that just has no business being on a plane. At some point during the flight, he'll shit his pants, stink up the plane and clog up the rear lav for like half the duration of the flight.
FatBabiesHaveNoPride
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You've never been a plane before, have you?
FatBabiesHaveNoPride
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You forgot these Metra folks:
- The PDA Teenagers - always some fucking scraggly looking kid in a hoodie and hickeys on his neck playing titty slap tonsil hockey with a fat girl with those stupid tattoo things behind her ears and pants that are too long and wet/ripped on the bottom. Get a fucking room.
- The Beats Headphones Guy - the dumbfuck that blasts his music so loud that everyone can hear it. We get it Colin Kaepernick. You have Beats phones. Tighten them on your head so every one else doesn't have to listen Wocka Flocka Fucka or whatever his name is.
- The Speakerphone Guy - we get it, iPhones have speaker phone capabilities. Listen, Mr. 2001 Nextel Two Way guy, no one wants to hear your shitty conversation. Take the phone of speaker and put the earbuds in and speak like a human being. Or get a Jawbone and you can be Bluetooth Jagoff Guy.
- The 'Hey We Can Drink on the Train' Crew - ok, cool. Metra allows you to grab a 40 of King Cobra or if you are a hipster, a can of PBR or Daisy Cutter and drink it on the plane. Yippee. We all had our first beer. We've all seen these dipshits get progressively more loud and more obnoxious as they get closer to Ogilvie or Union Station and are now 8 beers in. This is very evident for Friday afternoon or Saturday Cubs home games. Or Lollapaloooza.
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Got a feeling I have been on more flights than you. The biggest difference is that I'm not a soft as a marshmallow like you
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Dat accuracy
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LordKOTL
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Nope, mine has "Güd Hyoomir" written on the sideIs this your van?
FatBabiesHaveNoPride
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Do they let you bring your rocking chair on the plane?
And I'd bet that no, you haven't been on more flights than me. I don't say that as bragging rights. Being on a lot of flights sucks. It sucks dong. Delays are a fact of life flying in an out of Ohare.
JimJohnson
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I don't even know if this is accurate. I've flown on many different airlines, have sat next to many fat people, and they've never purchased more than 1 seat (unless the airline makes them buy more than 1 ticket, just pockets the profit, and still fills up every damn seat on the plane).
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You might need the rocking chair considering all the whining you are doing. And how would you know how many flights I have been on? Just stop whining. Your sad stories of kids playing with the iPads on planes is getting no traction
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Who took Ommy's blood pressure meds.... it's not funny you guise
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The doctor refused to give him meds..The doctor, being a humanitarian, wants Ommy gone as quickly as possible.
Especially since Ommy argues with all the other patients in the waiting room over which magazine is better
Especially since Ommy argues with all the other patients in the waiting room over which magazine is better
FatBabiesHaveNoPride
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I'd have to think but I've probably been on 250 plus flights (legs) in my life. I can't recall EVER seeing a fat person buy two seats.
I do however, once a week, see some fat **** rolling up the aisle and think to myself 'Self, how the hell is that fat bastard gonna shoehorn himself into a seat'. And I feel sorry for the people stuck next to him.
FatBabiesHaveNoPride
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I like forum 'funny guys'. If you are going to play the court jester, don't you at least have to offer something resembling funny at some point?
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That would violate the fire code. Also, there could be no meal service.
Unannounced Fart
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I was on a flight from LA to Vegas (1 hour flight) with an extremely fat friend from school once. He's probably 350 pounds, and he did not have to buy 2 seats. But he did have to request an extension for his seat belt so that he could strap himself in, lol.