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My favorite teams
Congratulations to Matt Nagy on getting his first regular season win as the Bears Head Coach, and to do it at home no less! My concern is that the Bears look great to start the game offensively, and then they just disappear. Is this a result of not playing that much in the preseason? Is Nagy’s scheme to difficult to understand? Is Mitch even that good? Week 3 in Arizona should give us more answers.
If we go back early into the history of Arizona, and look towards some point in the 1800s we’ll hear a tale about a gold miner and his family who settled in a tiny wood shed in the middle of a canyon, just southeast of Kingman, Arizona. He wanted a good life for his children, and his wife Luana. Living in Arizona at this time wasn’t easy, but they were determined to make it work.
Typically, the miner would leave for a few weeks in search of food and gold. What he brought back wasn’t much, but they made it work, and they grew accustomed to their lifestyle. This all changed when they went through their normal pattern, but the husband never returned. Luana began to worry, not just for the safety of her husband, but for the lack of food for her children. Luana began to go crazy from starvation and from the worry over her husband.
Luana went so crazy that she put on her wedding dress, found an axe, and began to chop up her children. Eventually placing all of their body parts along a river that was near the house. She came back to the house, the walls and her wedding dress covered in blood. She dropped to her knees, screeching loudly at the pain she just caused her children, and dropped to her death – dying of starvation.
The canyon near Kingman is now referred to as Luana’s Canyon, or Slaughterhouse Canyon. People hiking through this area have reported that if you listen closely, you can still hear the screams of Luana.
Food: Kai Restaurant in Phoenix, Arizona. A five star restaurant located in the Sheraton Grand Hotel that specializes in Native American food. Hope you like maize.
Beer: Desert Eagle Brewing. I have a buddy who frequently goes to ‘Zona for business. He brings back stuff from this place, and I love it. The Buzz Bomb IPA is awesome as well as the Gentleman’s Porter. Amazing stuff. Apparently the food menu is quite good as well.
Quick Hits from Vick (Sponsored by Kellog’s Brand Pop Tarts. Literally the only thing that lure’s my mom’s ferret out from her crawl space)
Good victory Tuesday to all of you here at CCS. I literally could care less about the Mole-eyed Mitchell debates going on today in your world because yet again this week all of my eyes were on Khalil Mack who has literally MAGA’d the Bears into my favorite team to watch every time the D takes the field. What a great Monday night to be alive last night! But now a new week is upon us as we look towards the Arizona Cardinals this upcoming Sunday and with that being said it’s literally again time for this week’s Bears Baffoon of the Week! Last week’s VickPick for BBotW did not pan out thank Gosh and dionne Simms didn’t do jack **** to ruin the game for his team, I don’t even think he had a target the whole entire game but then again I spent a fair share of the offense playing time rewinding and replaying Khalil Mack high-lights, so whatevs, and also that wasliterally last week’s game, on to this week’s pick: Kyle Fuller. I hope I am wrong which is encouraging because halve the time I am so far this season I’m 1 and 1 literally being right about Whithair and wrong about Simms, but Fuller continues to struggle with turning his head like he always has, and will likely miss at last TWO (2) easy INT this coming matchup. Who knows who the qb will be but look for Fuller to drop a couple balls hitting him in the hands or chest areas of his body. It likely won’t cause the bears to lose the game but it might cause some of you to literally lose your minds seeing this top paid CB have such bad hands. Don’t hate the messenger though bear fans, I’m still literally “your boy.”
#vickout
The Game: This is a great game for the Bears. Arizona is awful, and probably one of the worst teams in the league not named the Buffalo Bills. They have questions at QB. Who are they starting, well we have three choices: the wealthiest worst QB ever in Sam Bradford, Geoffrey the Giraffe, or do they let the rookie get in there? Either way, I see the defense eating.
Offensively, it’s weird. Last year we were praying for the Hobbit to call a pass on first down. This year, we want John Malkovich Jr. to run the ball on first down with Howard. I’m actually concerned that Malkovich doesn’t even know that Jordan Howard is on the team. Anyways, I’d like to see some more deep passing. Defenses are just going to sit on the run and short passes. I want to see more deep routes.
Bears 31
Cardinals 10
Offensive Player of the Game: Mitch Trubisky
Zero Fucks Given about his youth. Zero Fucks Given about the new offense. Zero Fucks Given about the new wide receivers. It’s time. Let the kid loose and let’s see what he does. I’m calling for Mitch, on the short week, to show us why Ryan Pace traded up to get him. It’s time folks. No more excuses. This is the team to do it against.
Defensive Player of the Game: Eddie Goldman
I simply will never be able to understand why it seems like I’m the only guy that talks about Eddie Goldman. Expect a big push in the middle from this mountain of a man. He will keep Danny T and Roquan clean and making tackles.
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