Match.com

[number51]

Do tell!

The place: The corner of River and Rand in Des Plaines a bar called Isle Of Man (lots of ladies special, lots of ladies, so the place was always packed).
The time: New Years Eve 1979 about to be 1980.

The drinking age for beer and wine in Illinois was lowered to 19 in 1972 4 years before I turned 19. In March of 1979 I turned 21, 9 months before the night in question. At Midnight the drinking age was being raised back up to 21, so all the 19 & 20 year old's were speed drinking before they get kicked out of the bar at 12:01. By 11:30 the place was filled with shit faced young people, me and my buddy had claimed two sweet young things, both pretty hot so neither one of us had to take the wing man hit. These chicks had thought ahead and had fake 21 ID's, the clock strikes 12 much noise and making out, then everybody out and the 21 and over crowd can come back in. The 19 & 20's stagger off to their cars (don't judge, it was a different time) we get in line to re-enter. A cop car rolls up and our drunk little hotties freak out, 'relax your not doing anything wrong', my drunk hotty says 'that cop is my dad'. The cop/dad gets out of the car and grabs the girls and shoots us the nastiest cop stink eye ever, like he was memorizing us. ****! We go back in and settle for some 2nd tier talent, IIRC my friend got the worst of it.

We weren't in jail and we did get some, so it did work out okay, just a very strange night.

In my original post I said I turned 19 right after the age was lowered, that is not correct the law was changed 4 years before my 19th.

 

[Dick Jauron]

Horrible experience. After a year, I was able to score a full refund. Good work.

 

[BaBaBlacksheep]

Have had good luck here:

www.BunnyRanch.com

 

[Adipost]

Suggestions for Adipost, although warden may have already pm'ed him:

chlroform, rope, and duct tape

[video=youtube_share;ype12RuDJ4k]https://youtu.be/ype12RuDJ4k[/video]

 

[legendxofxlink]

Older guys on here don’t understand how stand offish women 27-40 are these days. You can’t just meet these women out... they hide under rocks, binge watching Netflix, workout with headphones in, posting pics with their dog everyday. Dating apps OR word of mouth “meet my single friend” are the only ways to lure them out of their hibernation. DONT ever try to get to know someone through text though. Always in person or at least the phone unless you just want to smash.

I live in a place where everyone marries at 20 then gets divorced around 27. I married after living with her for 4 years just to make sure. Still got divorced.. match.com is pretty shitty where I live, still landed some good looking girls on it, but they were mostly introverted which does NOT work well with my personality. I’ve been dating a girl I met on Tinder that lived in Asheville for a couple years now and I found several really good women, not just whores on it.

 

[Crystallas]

The old school methods work the best. It has nothing to do with how women are now, because that street goes both ways. The best methods have worked for many millennia and don't stop working suddenly because another generation comes along and is confused(persons that basically wind up in relationships due to clumsiness and coincidence).

It's important to bond with people and create that personal equity constantly. That will improve your odds the most. Even introverted people need love, and you can't just expect it to come to you.

I used to date a lot, 4-5 different girls a week for years, then juggled for the longest time. About half the girls I met online in the 90s. Meeting women wasn't hard because all you needed to do was put yourself out there, get ready for rejection(treat women like they are in the ocean, full of fish -- because it's 100% true both ways), and don't be afraid to just have some company/make a friend that goes absolutely nowhere.

One date I had bombed pretty bad, we weren't compatible, despite both of us being attracted to each other physically and still fooling around lol. But she contacted me a few days later and asked me to help her friend with some computer issue. Greeeat now I'm going to be that guy, right? Well, no, this guy wound up being one of the best friends I ever had. Another girl, same scenario as far as bombing date happened a few years later, she had a friend with car trouble, and made another really good friend for life. I'm godfather to his kid. And another scenario where a date didn't do so well, but we stayed friends, and about 7 years later, she introduced me to a friend and she's now my wife.

So really, if you guys think it's a generational issue, Then I'll tell you what is wrong. You aren't willing to put in the sweat equity to basically bond with other human beings. Computers aren't going to do it for you, they are a tool, you are the brains here. Just meet people, smile and move along. Don't be comfortable,don't get lazy(but of course telling a person that is lazy not to be lazy is a lost cause in itself).
Most importantly, stop with this blame game. If you can't find companionship, that's your fault for not trying to be the best *you* that you can be.

 

[Omeletpants]

Older guys on here don’t understand how stand offish women 27-40 are these days. You can’t just meet these women out... they hide under rocks, binge watching Netflix, workout with headphones in, posting pics with their dog everyday. Dating apps OR word of mouth “meet my single friend” are the only ways to lure them out of their hibernation. DONT ever try to get to know someone through text though. Always in person or at least the phone unless you just want to smash.

I live in a place where everyone marries at 20 then gets divorced around 27. I married after living with her for 4 years just to make sure. Still got divorced.. match.com is pretty shitty where I live, still landed some good looking girls on it, but they were mostly introverted which does NOT work well with my personality. I’ve been dating a girl I met on Tinder that lived in Asheville for a couple years now and I found several really good women, not just whores on it.

I remember having a conversation with a buddy in the early 80s. One of our discussion points was marriages lasting 7 years. A book called the 7 Year Itch was written in the 1950s. So it's not a new phenomena.

All the traits you describe about women now were the same back then. I think one of the big differences in how relationships developed was communications. With smartphones, now it's instantaneous and often. Back then it had to be planned. At the end of a saturday night date you would agree to talk on Wednesday and she then made plans to be home. Also, if you dated long distance the cost of long distance phone calls would bankrupt you. No unlimited text and voice.

 

[Adipost]

The old school methods work the best. It has nothing to do with how women are now, because that street goes both ways. The best methods have worked for many millennia and don't stop working suddenly because another generation comes along and is confused(persons that basically wind up in relationships due to clumsiness and coincidence).

It's important to bond with people and create that personal equity constantly. That will improve your odds the most. Even introverted people need love, and you can't just expect it to come to you.

I used to date a lot, 4-5 different girls a week for years, then juggled for the longest time. About half the girls I met online in the 90s. Meeting women wasn't hard because all you needed to do was put yourself out there, get ready for rejection(treat women like they are in the ocean, full of fish -- because it's 100% true both ways), and don't be afraid to just have some company/make a friend that goes absolutely nowhere.

One date I had bombed pretty bad, we weren't compatible, despite both of us being attracted to each other physically and still fooling around lol. But she contacted me a few days later and asked me to help her friend with some computer issue. Greeeat now I'm going to be that guy, right? Well, no, this guy wound up being one of the best friends I ever had. Another girl, same scenario as far as bombing date happened a few years later, she had a friend with car trouble, and made another really good friend for life. I'm godfather to his kid. And another scenario where a date didn't do so well, but we stayed friends, and about 7 years later, she introduced me to a friend and she's now my wife.

So really, if you guys think it's a generational issue, Then I'll tell you what is wrong. You aren't willing to put in the sweat equity to basically bond with other human beings. Computers aren't going to do it for you, they are a tool, you are the brains here. Just meet people, smile and move along. Don't be comfortable,don't get lazy(but of course telling a person that is lazy not to be lazy is a lost cause in itself).
Most importantly, stop with this blame game. If you can't find companionship, that's your fault for not trying to be the best *you* that you can be.

Holy shit, 4/5 times a week? I’d be bankrupt in a months time.

 

[Crystallas]

Holy shit, 4/5 times a week? I’d be bankrupt in a months time.

Then you have the wrong approach.

It's like buying a new service provider. They all offer you a great deal in the start, but after a while, regular rates apply and it's like 2-3x more expensive than switching to the competition. Well, same with dating. People seem to offer a great deal to the other at first, then it goes downhill. We all know that is backwards, and we're led to believe it's the most effective model for dating.

IMO, start basic then add the better night out as an incentive down the line, instead of up front(this also shows her that you're listening, which will go a lot further than a fancy meal). This way you get to know her better and actually take her out somewhere she would like to go without the problems of the carte blanche compromise or Abilene paradox(look these up if you aren't familiar). That is mutually better for both you and her. Even if she if she is up for anything and you bare the decision making, this way you can still make the best decision. Women like men with money, but they also like men who are *smart* with their money. If someone calls you cheap for being responsible, so be it.

If you want to wine and dine a woman on every date, you're going to go broke. Spending excessive money is not how you impress someone of long-term relationship material, that's just how you lure in gold-diggers and manipulators.

 

[Adipost]

Then you have the wrong approach.

It's like buying a new service provider. They all offer you a great deal in the start, but after a while, regular rates apply and it's like 2-3x more expensive than switching to the competition. Well, same with dating. People seem to offer a great deal to the other at first, then it goes downhill. We all know that is backwards, and we're led to believe it's the most effective model for dating.

IMO, start basic then add the better night out as an incentive down the line, instead of up front(this also shows her that you're listening, which will go a lot further than a fancy meal). This way you get to know her better and actually take her out somewhere she would like to go without the problems of the carte blanche compromise or Abilene paradox(look these up if you aren't familiar). That is mutually better for both you and her. Even if she if she is up for anything and you bare the decision making, this way you can still make the best decision. Women like men with money, but they also like men who are *smart* with their money. If someone calls you cheap for being responsible, so be it.

If you want to wine and dine a woman on every date, you're going to go broke. Spending excessive money is not how you impress someone of long-term relationship material, that's just how you lure in gold-diggers and manipulators.

I mean, yeah, when I meet up a girl for the first time it’s always something small. **** the wining and dining, I’ll buy you a samich. But still, 4/5 times a week!

 

[legendxofxlink]

I mean, yeah, when I meet up a girl for the first time it’s always something small. **** the wining and dining, I’ll buy you a samich. But still, 4/5 times a week!

You either have no time to yourself, which is stupid, or he’s lying and trying to impress. Both are ignorant.

 

[Crystallas]

I mean, yeah, when I meet up a girl for the first time it’s always something small. **** the wining and dining, I’ll buy you a samich. But still, 4/5 times a week!

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

The way to a woman's heart is not. You appeal to her ego, her insecurities and hope she does the same in return.

Walk more, see sights. Skip the meal. This way if you don't like her, you can ditch her quicker. If you do like her, you can then go grab a bite. Food is just the traditional non sequitur fallacy that everyone has to eat, so why not with me. But the thing is, humans can go a long while without food, so really, it winds up being ineffective to just take every date to dinner.

Walks are #1. If she's not healthy, you filter out the bunch by wanting to be mildly active. If you're not healthy(meaning, the walk is asking too much), then you're at a huge disadvantage. Walking and talking is just so therapeutic. Even in the cold, just walk around some interesting stores(I like going to antique stores and thrift shops, and so do the majority of women). You can always run your errands, let her run hers, 'hey, I had a long week, do you mind if we stop at this place, do you need to stop here or anywhere? Oh you do? Well great, let's hang out and get some stuff done, I hate doing this stuff alone all the time.'.

It's a way better test of how you two are compatible anyways when doing those sorts of things than sitting down to eat where you will wind up wondering why something that doesn't matter a whole lot is suddenly front and center (why she doesn't like your favorite condiment, and why you aren't a fan of her choice in drink). Just so much shit to see on foot, and that is true for all the people you meet. Cheap, but priceless at the same time.

Now, I'm also not a drinker, so maybe that is a factor in costs. I grew up in bars as a little kid with a handful of my family being alcoholics in an era where that was just acceptable, and I never cared for the good old meet people at the pub method.

 

[legendxofxlink]

I remember having a conversation with a buddy in the early 80s. One of our discussion points was marriages lasting 7 years. A book called the 7 Year Itch was written in the 1950s. So it's not a new phenomena.

All the traits you describe about women now were the same back then. I think one of the big differences in how relationships developed was communications. With smartphones, now it's instantaneous and often. Back then it had to be planned. At the end of a saturday night date you would agree to talk on Wednesday and she then made plans to be home. Also, if you dated long distance the cost of long distance phone calls would bankrupt you. No unlimited text and voice.

It still happens yes, but the point was everyone gets married early here. Could be wrong, but from experience that doesn’t seem to happen in larger cities as much these days.

 

[AussieBear]

hanging out at a park pond with ducks was always dirt cheap... a bag of bread.. gave us time to chill n talk... if things progressed.. maybe a cup of coffee, juice etc then maybe fucks or a second date.... doing this 4/5 times a week would still be cheaper than 1 dinner date at an okay place..

ps..

i never got the dinner date should be date 1.. ive worked out at a gym with a chick as a date and juice being part duex of said date..

if ur active.. running, biking a specific trail is a date in me book..

but the pond n duck/koi feeding was always the best for talking..

 

[Omeletpants]

hanging out at a park pond with ducks was always dirt cheap... a bag of bread.. gave us time to chill n talk... if things progressed.. maybe a cup of coffee, juice etc then maybe fucks or a second date.... doing this 4/5 times a week would still be cheaper than 1 dinner date at an okay place..

If you had a bteer job you could go on a real date

 

[AussieBear]

If you had a bteer job you could go on a real date

true.. i aint got no job..

but even when i was at me top making guud chunks of change.. i always started small... meeting chicken heads at a bar was a different story..... but as a date.. u aint gotta drop hundreds on some hoe u may wanna get the **** away from after 5 minutes of talks..

like crys... my cheapest date were walks........mine be around a lake ppl like to run around and walk they dog.... zero cents... da pond trail cost unda a dollar for bread to feed ducks and koi..

go swimming.. see the goods without seeing the goods.... lake = free.. beach nearby .. shiiieeet..

speaking of shiiett... chicks have taken me out n paid.. n ive let em.. man aint gotta be dat man.. ill hold the door open, you pick up the check is fine in the aussiebear world..

my first date with the current wife.. she took me out.. i paid nuffin..

 

[LordKOTL]

Online/apps just cast a wider net. Other than that people are people and the same trash to treasure ratio remains about the same.

 

[ursamajor]

My wife of 36 years might not be okay with that. I did not meet her at anything.com, we had common friends, met at a party, there was no swiping back then, men were men.

I guess it’s a younger man’s thing. I don’t consider myself old, but I never met a chick on a dating site-or net for that matter. Seems weird to me, but I’m sure the generation before mine though a lot of shit we did was weird.


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[ursamajor]

I met your wife at a bar. How coincidental

That is the first funny thing I’ve seen you write on this board.


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[BaBaBlacksheep]

That is the first funny thing I’ve seen you write on this board.


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We're all still waiting for your first....