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Sometimes it just isn't the right fit and no amount of training can break them of bad habits. Hard to watch your hard earned money go down the drain with piss everywhere and furniture being eaten. Especially a crap shoot when you take in shelter dogs.
I had a terrible time with a puppy I got from a shelter. She would not stop peeing on the floor no matter what I did, and then she started hopping the 5 foot fence out back. Gave her to a relative with a taller fence and she never had one accident... blew my mind.
Not doing a bad thing by taking her back, as someone else will most likely foster her if not adopted quickly.
Understand your wifes case, mine would most likely do the same, but you can't let the dog run the house. Doesn't work that way. You'll be miserable in the long run.
Thanks. Her running the house is exactly what it feels like. I'm afraid to leave her alone, and every time I come home I brace myself for what got destroyed. She needs a home with a yard. Even though she gets 4-5 walks per day and 1-2 trips a week to a dog park or tennis court to run free, it's not enough. Too high energy.