The IHN Psychiatric Couch

[BlackHawkPaul]

If you want to be seen, wear something sexy. Doesn't even have to be revealing, just something that looks great on you. Old co-worker of mine who was old enough to be my mother (some of her kids were older than me) had this button up blouse that she wore with black pants and nothing was revealed but jesus christ it worked for her.

It really helps if she has her band tuba with her and plays a few notes from "Rock and Roll. Part II."

I married a band geek, and I'm glad I did.

 

[LordKOTL]

^^^Does she follow fat guys around with her tuba?

BTW, bri, if you messaged me I never got it.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Bump.

 

[Kerfuffle]

Had my colonoscopy last Friday - the test wasn't bad at all. The prep is horrible - you get drink a gallon of the worst tasting stuff on earth (trylyte) and then sit on the pot for 15 hours doing your colon blow. It sucks to get old.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

15 hours of pooping?

Sign me up.

 

[bri]

Had my colonoscopy last Friday - the test wasn't bad at all. The prep is horrible - you get drink a gallon of the worst tasting stuff on earth (trylyte) and then sit on the pot for 15 hours doing your colon blow. It sucks to get old.

Hun, you know a bunch of people on here think you're full of shit so that might be why it took so long on the potty.

Glad you're OK. I wondered where you were.

 

[Kerfuffle]

15 hours of pooping?

Sign me up.

It's not fun - believe me. You take a pill a couple hours before you 'start'. It makes your intestines more active. Then every 10 minutes over the next couple hours you drink a cup of this trylyte stuff. You start feeling more and more bloated until eventually it starts. Then you have about 3 minutes of peace and you're back on the pot. This is all done to clean out your colon. And I wouldn't call it pooping either - you are really 'peeing' out your butt hole for a good portion of it.

 

[Kerfuffle]

Glad you're OK. I wondered where you were.

I was banned again but I'm back. Basically I fart the wrong way around here and I get warnings, suspensions, and the like. Came at a good time though - the NFL settled their dispute so we were pretty busy preparing for the NFL season and I had the colon blow test so I was definitely pre-occupied.

 

[Bringmepie]

It's not fun - believe me. You take a pill a couple hours before you 'start'. It makes your intestines more active. Then every 10 minutes over the next couple hours you drink a cup of this trylyte stuff. You start feeling more and more bloated until eventually it starts. Then you have about 3 minutes of peace and you're back on the pot. This is all done to clean out your colon. And I wouldn't call it pooping either - you are really 'peeing' out your butt hole for a good portion of it.

Does it burn from like, enzymes an' all?

 

[the canadian dream]

Had my colonoscopy last Friday - the test wasn't bad at all. The prep is horrible - you get drink a gallon of the worst tasting stuff on earth (trylyte) and then sit on the pot for 15 hours doing your colon blow. It sucks to get old.

IT SUCKS!!!! I had dehydration issues while doing the prep and had the worst night of my life...to top it all off the next morning my colonoscopy was BRUUUUUUUUUUUUTAL!! They couldn't get the fucking camera to maneuver properly (I attribute it to a tight rectum despite popular belief). Was a horrible experience and it was actually painful.



Soooooooooo from there I had to have a Barium Enema done....**** THAT WAS JUST A BLAST!!!! For anyone who doesn't know what that consists of I am not sure if I should tell because it just might ruin everyones day explaining it. You think having just a camera shoved up the ass is bad? HELL NO!! Try having your colon filled with radioactive gooo and a giant balloon!!! I was crapping up ectoplasm for a week afterwards.

 

[Kerfuffle]

Does it burn from like, enzymes an' all?

Nope it doesn't burn. You just feel bloated and you'd think you would peeing it all out cause it's all water based what you're drinking. But actually it goes right to the colon and after the first dump all the others are pretty much water blasting the bowl from your butt. Not fun.



The procedure itself they gave me an IV and some stuff that doesn't knock you out but makes you sleepy and you feel drugged. The doc was not kind on entry - just said 'okay I'm gonna start' and then shoved the tube in me. The part that hurts is you feel it when they 'turn a corner' with that tube and that hurts and is discomforting. Mine was not as painful as a I thought it would be. Sounds like TCD had a worse experience than mine. The other thing too is they shot me full of air so after the procedure you have a ton of gas and they tell you have to let it out - no problem I said. I was farting for a couple hours on and off.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

When I had the monster kidney stone, the doc inserted a stent in my pee hole. After they did the shock wave blast to destroy it, I was peeing out gravel for 3 weeks. Nothing is pleasing about having the stent removed. The doc shoved a scope in my pee hole with a small roach clip and pulled the bastard out.

The numbing gel is just gel. It numbed the head, but not the shaft.

I was bleeding for a couple of hours.

 

[BigPete]

When I had the monster kidney stone, the doc inserted a stent in my pee hole. After they did the shock wave blast to destroy it, I was peeing out gravel for 3 weeks. Nothing is pleasing about having the stent removed. The doc shoved a scope in my pee hole with a small roach clip and pulled the bastard out.

The numbing gel is just gel. It numbed the head, but not the shaft.

I was bleeding for a couple of hours.

At what point do you say, "**** that shit"?

 

[Kerfuffle]

When I had the monster kidney stone, the doc inserted a stent in my pee hole. After they did the shock wave blast to destroy it, I was peeing out gravel for 3 weeks. Nothing is pleasing about having the stent removed. The doc shoved a scope in my pee hole with a small roach clip and pulled the bastard out.

The numbing gel is just gel. It numbed the head, but not the shaft.

I was bleeding for a couple of hours.

I had one of those too - definitely the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life. It was excruciating. Supposedly the pain is from the stone moving along the urethra. I had the bastard for 2 weeks and was totally incapacitated and on high vicodin doses as well. My doctor sucked - just told me kinda rudely "well I told you it would be painful". Prick - I should have gone somewhere else and had them pull it out like you had. He gave me a strainer so when I felt it getting close to coming down my dong I had to use it and then finally it came out. Not sure if you had a chance to look at yours but after 2 weeks of that shit I held mine up to the light. It looked like that cereal 'Grapenuts' - was the same size and shape. But when I looked closely it had these crystal-like projections sticking out from it like knives. No wonder that thing hurt so bad, it's like a fish hook being pulled through your tract.

 

[bri]

I know it is a little late to ask this, but why was Fluff's pooper scooper test in the psychiatric thread? Now you know, Fluff i can't resist this. Is it cause your head is up your ass?

 

[supraman]

I know it is a little late to ask this, but why was Fluff's pooper scooper test in the psychiatric thread? Now you know, Fluff i can't resist this. Is it cause your head is up your ass?

Remember when you were nice?

 

[whiteevo]

i've had a 3" needle inserted into my eyeball 3 times in the last 3 months. retnal detachment. it doesn't feel good. prolly not as bad as a pecker problem though, sorry to hear boys.

 

[jakobeast]

Remember when you were nice?

She is better this way.

 

[bri]

I am suffering from severe math anxiety. Is there a pill for that?

 

[sth]

I am suffering from severe math anxiety. Is there a pill for that?

If there was I know I would be the first to take it. I just tried to avoid any class or subject that included math. Probably why I got a history degree.