The IHN Psychiatric Couch

[TSD]

Glad someone got the R. Lee reference, he is my god.



That sounds about right. In high school though I was a decent looking guy (a few women said that to me) I never had the confidence to ask any of them out. I developed very late socially. I have older parents, as in my parents are literally old enough to be my grandparents without it being some weird teen pregnancy. So they never bought me the cool clothes and shoes and all that, that kids need to fit in so I was always a bit of an outcase. I promise I am not blaming my parents for all of this, these were the cards I was dealt so oh well.



Also being a little kid and instantly being good at everything had its consequences, I fear failure in general. I am not used to it. I didn't start driving until I was 25. The anxiety of making a mistake kept me away from wanting to drive. Which in turn didn't help me with asking girls out. How can you ask a girl out without a way to pick them up. So I'm terribly behind in my development when it comes to hitting on women.



Also I never know what to say. Once I get used to a person I'm alright but at first I'm terribly nervous and don't have much to say. And then consider the only thing I like to talk about is hockey and well I'm willing to bet that most women do not want to hear me ramble on about the hawks and their goaltending.

You really didn't start driving until you were 25? Not that a hungover douchebag with women issues of his own can help you, but say whatever is on your mind, while in some cases that is a negative aspect of my personality, I always have shit to say to people.



As far as asking girls out, I really don't even have any experience with that in the "traditional" sense, the one time I asked a girl out like that, i got shot down. The most fucked up thing about it, is I knew this girl liked me ahead of time, as she told my buddies girlfriend she did. I was still wrecked with nerves but I did it. (it wasnt a traditional shoot down, it was more she just kept blowing me off and I got the picture), its a good thing, this broad was not girlfriend material.



Any girl I've been with I pretty much just met through hanging out with other people and there were always women, and you can just hang out and talk in a non-threatening setting and theres no pressure. I can constantly meet new women because of friends who have friends/girlfriends that have single female friends at parties and such and you can just talk to them because thats what you are supposed to do at shit like that, talk and what not.



Although if you don't have any friends that can put a hamper on that whole scenario I laid out. Have you thought of online dating? It certainly takes the pressure off the initiation of "the date". Who cares if you get shot down over the internet? and If they agree to a date or something you already know they are interested (but like in my example earlier, I said I knew ahead of time a chick liked me and I was still a nervous wreck). Since it seems like your primary issue is the initiation of contact, then online dating should solve that.

 

[supraman]

Hun there were probably a million girls out there just wishing you would notice them. I am also a very shy person. People just like talking to me. I think it's because I am approachable and make them comfortable with who they are which is how it should always be.





Do you have any siblings?

I do have siblings, 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My closest sibling in age is 13 years older though and my eldest sister is old enough to be my mother.

My advice? Go out and fail. I dare you to fail.





I think once you have a few failures under your belt and you realize it isn't the end of the world, you will gain a bit of confidence. The ladies can sniff out confidence. As far as talking to them, you don't have to. Just say "hey" or "how are ya doing". Let them talk. If they don't, or reject you, move on. It isn't the end of the world.

Every now and then I get froggy and ask out a girl, takes me forever to work up the resolve to actually do it. Get rejected 100% of the time...which sucks. A big problem is I am terrible at determining if a woman is interested in me. So I ask them out only to find out they have boyfriends or something.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

I do have siblings, 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My closest sibling in age is 13 years older though and my eldest sister is old enough to be my mother.











Every now and then I get froggy and ask out a girl, takes me forever to work up the resolve to actually do it. Get rejected 100% of the time...which sucks. A big problem is I am terrible at determining if a woman is interested in me. So I ask them out only to find out they have boyfriends or something.

My wife and I started out as friends.

I pulled down my pants one night in front of her at a party, then *whoosh* fast forward nearly 10 years later, and we're happily married.



Note: pulling down one's pants in front of females may have varying results.



Somewhere in this thread I will also tell you stories about women I have dated, and the fucked up shit that they pulled.

I have a poop approaching the air lock, so... (runs away)

 

[supraman]

You really didn't start driving until you were 25? Not that a hungover douchebag with women issues of his own can help you, but say whatever is on your mind, while in some cases that is a negative aspect of my personality, I always have shit to say to people.



As far as asking girls out, I really don't even have any experience with that in the "traditional" sense, the one time I asked a girl out like that, i got shot down. The most fucked up thing about it, is I knew this girl liked me ahead of time, as she told my buddies girlfriend she did. I was still wrecked with nerves but I did it. (it wasnt a traditional shoot down, it was more she just kept blowing me off and I got the picture), its a good thing, this broad was not girlfriend material.



Any girl I've been with I pretty much just met through hanging out with other people and there were always women, and you can just hang out and talk in a non-threatening setting and theres no pressure. I can constantly meet new women because of friends who have friends/girlfriends that have single female friends at parties and such and you can just talk to them because thats what you are supposed to do at shit like that, talk and what not.



Although if you don't have any friends that can put a hamper on that whole scenario I laid out. Have you thought of online dating? It certainly takes the pressure off the initiation of "the date". Who cares if you get shot down over the internet? and If they agree to a date or something you already know they are interested (but like in my example earlier, I said I knew ahead of time a chick liked me and I was still a nervous wreck). Since it seems like your primary issue is the initiation of contact, then online dating should solve that.

Yeah no friends outside of co-workers that are 10 years older than me. I tend to hang out with an older crowd and let me tell ya, porn lies to you, many women in their mid 30s do not in fact want to jump in bed with a guy in his mid 20s.



The online dating thing, I tried geek 2 geek since well I'd probably fair best with my peoples. Yeah got nowhere fast.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Yeah no friends outside of co-workers that are 10 years older than me. I tend to hang out with an older crowd and let me tell ya, porn lies to you, many women in their mid 30s do not in fact want to jump in bed with a guy in his mid 20s.



The online dating thing, I tried geek 2 geek since well I'd probably fair best with my peoples. Yeah got nowhere fast.

You mean most women don't like ATM?

GTFO!

I better destroy all of my Max Hardcore and stop watching porn on flights.

 

[supraman]

You mean most women don't like ATM?

GTFO!

I better destroy all of my Max Hardcore and stop watching porn on flights.

Okay ATM is a new one, please explain.

 

[bri]

Yeah no friends outside of co-workers that are 10 years older than me. I tend to hang out with an older crowd and let me tell ya, porn lies to you, many women in their mid 30s do not in fact want to jump in bed with a guy in his mid 20s.



The online dating thing, I tried geek 2 geek since well I'd probably fair best with my peoples. Yeah got nowhere fast.

Hun, you need to develop a swagger that oozes with confidence. If women think they're missing out on something they will flock to you like flies on dog poop.

 

[bri]

Okay ATM is a new one, please explain.

I didn't know what it meant until about a year ago. It is ass to mouth. And no I have never done it and never ever will.

 

[TSD]

I do have siblings, 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My closest sibling in age is 13 years older though and my eldest sister is old enough to be my mother.











Every now and then I get froggy and ask out a girl, takes me forever to work up the resolve to actually do it. Get rejected 100% of the time...which sucks. A big problem is I am terrible at determining if a woman is interested in me. So I ask them out only to find out they have boyfriends or something.

Thats tough, Its not easy but this I think I can help you with. There are 2 distinct scenarios.



Drunk and not Drunk.





Drunk: Drunk is easy, first a girl wont give you the time of day if they are drinking and not interested in you, they will do some down right rude things to get rid of you. Or they will be giving you this wry for the love of god stick your dick in me already look. So if a girl is even giving you the time of day in a drunk environment shes at least a little interested.



Sober is unmistakable (while this may not happen in every case, I can remember this scenario happening clearly with any girl thats been interested in me).

In the middle of a conversation or something, they will just stare you down dead in your eyes like they are peering in extracting your soul, like no matter what her eyes will just not unlock from yours. Nothing wierd happens mind you, you continue talking or whatever, but their gaze will just remain fixed like seeing whos gonna flinch first. I dont even know if they know they do that.

 

[supraman]

Hun, you need to develop a swagger that oozes with confidence. If women think they're missing out on something they will flock to you like flies on dog poop.

I have been compared to dog poop....lovely....I can kiss what little confidence I had goodbye.



I'm not a swagger type guy. I was raised to be modest and not to brag so yeah I never really display swagger. Sure I might post around here that I am epic and awesome and stuff but I'm screwing around.

 

[Ymono37]

The online dating thing, I tried geek 2 geek since well I'd probably fair best with my peoples. Yeah got nowhere fast.

geek 2 geek is a scam dating site that preys on guys like you and me.



You're better off sticking with the big guys like Match or eHarmony... it's definitely an investment but the pools will be bigger and you don't have to worry about getting scammed. Admittedly it hasn't worked for me, but then - I haven't used them in years. However, I have more than one friend that has benefitted and even gotten married from folks they met through the site(s).



If anything, could be some good practice for the rejection... it's a lot easier to take when the person isn't right in front of you.

 

[TSD]

I have been compared to dog poop....lovely....I can kiss what little confidence I had goodbye.



I'm not a swagger type guy. I was raised to be modest and not to brag so yeah I never really display swagger. Sure I might post around here that I am epic and awesome and stuff but I'm screwing around.

Yeah its a ***** when people just leave you with, find some confidence, somewhere, you cant pretend to have confidence if you dont have it. You just need to be in more social situations first and women will come easier. I was very shy in highschool, had a tight nit group of friends, and was not outgoing. When I went to college, i was forced to be social, there was no stopping it, alcohol helped, but then I just became extremely at ease around groups of people and people in general and developed quite the running mouth.

 

[phranchk]

I have been compared to dog poop....lovely....I can kiss what little confidence I had goodbye.



I'm not a swagger type guy. I was raised to be modest and not to brag so yeah I never really display swagger. Sure I might post around here that I am epic and awesome and stuff but I'm screwing around.

That's exactly your problem. The screwing around with us needs to be carried over to talking to others. It's not different, really. I talk to you guys in a very similar manner than I do in person.

The hardest part is getting the in into a conversation. Here it's layed out for you and stays and you can respond whenever. That's not the case in real life. So you basically need to learn icebreakers, which, admittedly, are not easy.

 

[TSD]

My wife and I started out as friends.

I pulled down my pants one night in front of her at a party, then *whoosh* fast forward nearly 10 years later, and we're happily married.



Note: pulling down one's pants in front of females may have varying results.



Somewhere in this thread I will also tell you stories about women I have dated, and the fucked up shit that they pulled.

I have a poop approaching the air lock, so... (runs away)

thats nearly identical to a story with my ex, except we were friends first and i once chased her around my dorm room with my penis, it worked i guess.

 

[bri]

I have been compared to dog poop....lovely....I can kiss what little confidence I had goodbye.



I'm not a swagger type guy. I was raised to be modest and not to brag so yeah I never really display swagger. Sure I might post around here that I am epic and awesome and stuff but I'm screwing around.

Hun, that is a good thing. Flies really like dog poop. I am not a city slicker. People say stuff like that around where I live.

 

[supraman]

Hun, that is a good thing. Flies really like dog poop. I am not a city slicker. People say stuff like that around where I live.

Where the hell are you from. If you say Nebraska you are Penny from the Big Bang Theory.



You could have said stuck to me like white on rice.

 

[TSD]

Where the hell are you from. If you say Nebraska you are Penny from the Big Bang Theory.



You could have said stuck to me like white on rice.

I think shes from way out in like western Illinois somewhere.

 

[bri]

Well here is another one for you. My last two weeks have been crazy busy. So since I am off tomorrow I am going to lay around like a dead hog. Translation: I am going to chill out and relax.

 

[whiteevo]

you don't have to have the hottest shit out or the newest BMW to have swag. it just is. you can definately develop it. swag doesn't mean asshole either. confidence is a big part of it. you have to crawl before you walk. find like a "2" or "3" that you know you can handle and take a stab and chat her up. odds are she will be happy to have someone to chat with too. let her talk, women love to talk. ask simple and easy to answer questions. let her talk more. it's not that hard.



it sounds terrible and i'm sure i'm not telling you anything new, but you need a peer group STAT. you need to invade an established circle of friends and be the new guy. invading a friend group is easy, you have a built in one ready to go. you obviously like hockey, i think you said you have played in the past. go join a league at a rink. teams are always looking for another person to help share the $$$ load of league fees. i dont know of any adult league team that doesn't grab a beer afterwards. if they dont, they are probably a bunch of dorks that you wouldn't wanna hang out with anyways. odds are the team is mostly friends. friends with girlfriends/wives. all women want to play matchmaker, they eat that shit up. it shouldn't take more than a solid month or two before you are at partys, getting set up on dates, etc. all of this is good for your social development. time to be a big boy and do something. you dont wanna end up like my 55 year old aunt who doesn't drive and still lives with my grandma.



if these generalizations dont improve my e-rep i dont know what will.



good luck and dont put that pussy on a pedestal.

 

[bri]

The sexiest thing about a man is his sense of humor. I think you've got that covered. Why do you think men and women alike are drawn to Jako?