The New Poop Thread

[BlackHawkPaul]

Yes.
This is for real.
When was the last time you pooped? Where? Was it glorious?

There was an old poop thread. It resided on the IHN boards and was a nice place to reflect and let out a loaf.

 

[Urblock]

Scoot! Time for the Village.

 

[Scoot26]

3 minutes ago.

 

[HeHateMe]

Yes.
This is for real.
When was the last time you pooped? Where? Was it glorious?

There was an old poop thread. It resided on the IHN boards and was a nice place to reflect and let out a loaf.

This morning, like every morning, promptly at 6 a.m. In my bathroom while I beat a 200s level of candy crush. I take in a lot of probiotic bacteria by eating fermented vegetables or drinking beet kvass or sauerkraut or kimchi juice, so it is always glorious. A one wiper, maybe two.

What's very interesting is that I've eliminated grains from my diet and my poops have been better than ever.

Hope this helps.

 

[Omeletpants]

When you wear Depends does it matter?

 

[BaBaBlacksheep]

At work. This morning. I love pooping at work because this lady always gives me the evil eye when I come out of there. She seems to be saying... "Don't you know how bad that stinks"? I calmly return her gaze and mentally reply " that's what you get for choosing the office next to the shitter ya dumb twat."

Then I walk off whistling Dixie....

 

[malcore]

I can't poop at work. Sphincter performance anxiety.

 

[KittiesKorner]

Pooping right now, on the grand avenue bus

 

[botfly10]

All right, I have a poo gripe. Where I work, there are multiple dudes, at least three, maybe more that poop at work every fucking day. Our bathroom is a 1 person shitter. And these ******* go in there and shit the place up every single morning. To me, shitting at work should be like an occasional woke up late thing. Otherwise, people need to get their ass outta bed early enough that they can take their morning shit at home, dammit. Wake up early, train your body, get on a routine, do what the **** you need to do so you aren't shitting at work every single day goddammit.

 

[malcore]

All right, I have a poo gripe. Where I work, there are multiple dudes, at least three, maybe more that poop at work every fucking day. Our bathroom is a 1 person shitter. And these ******* go in there and shit the place up every single morning. To me, shitting at work should be like an occasional woke up late thing. Otherwise, people need to get their ass outta bed early enough that they can take their morning shit at home, dammit. Wake up early, train your body, get on a routine, do what the **** you need to do so you aren't shitting at work every single day goddammit.

Same problem at my work. Two secretaries' offices right across from bathroom. Two or three guys used to do their business every morning. Solved it by getting a porta potty and all dumps must be made outside now. They shit at home now.

Neat side story, the company that comes to empty is called Turd Wranglers.

 

[HeHateMe]

All right, I have a poo gripe. Where I work, there are multiple dudes, at least three, maybe more that poop at work every fucking day. Our bathroom is a 1 person shitter. And these ******* go in there and shit the place up every single morning. To me, shitting at work should be like an occasional woke up late thing. Otherwise, people need to get their ass outta bed early enough that they can take their morning shit at home, dammit. Wake up early, train your body, get on a routine, do what the **** you need to do so you aren't shitting at work every single day goddammit.

Well, u didnt thank me for my useful post, so your bitching is as useful as despbro's cutler fanboyclub invitations. I eat 60pct meat/fat 30 pct veg and 10pct carbs, with probiotics for months now, and can poop on command. I could squeeze out a little poo right now, but saving for tommorrow. Try it.


Hope this helps.

 

[Tjodalv]

When I was going to NIU there was this one bathroom on the 3rd floor of the music building that absolutely no one was ever in...it was a magical place where unicorns roamed, leprechauns supplied ample TP, and I could be left alone with my poopthoughts. I miss that place. :crying:

 

[KittiesKorner]

Some asshole excuse the pun at my work covers the seat with toilet paper to protect from germs, i guess... And leaves it.

There's also a ponytailed old hippie choad who juggles on his lunch break and who ALWAYS chooses the stall next to an occupied one even if the rest are unoccupied

 

[malcore]

Some asshole excuse the pun at my work covers the seat with toilet paper to protect from germs, i guess... And leaves it.

There's also a ponytailed old hippie choad who juggles on his lunch break and who ALWAYS chooses the stall next to an occupied one even if the rest are unoccupied

Juggle next time he is in the next stall, and be wild with your toss ups over the divider.

 

[Unannounced Fart]

I poop every morning about 15-20 minutes after I wake up. It's like clockwork, but on those rare days when I don't poop, I get anxiety for the rest of the day b/c I hate using public restrooms to drop a deuce.

Also, anyone use a "Squatty Potty?" I just started using one a few months ago, and would recommend it to everyone. It looks Special person, but it really works. The way we sit on toilets doesn't promote complete elimination of the shit that's in your colon... shit gets stuck in there. So the Squatty Potty puts you in a squatting position so that all your shit gets out... complete elimination, baby!

 

[KittiesKorner]

Do you put it next to the litterbox?

 

[botfly10]

When I am working in the field doing bird stuff, I shit outside ever day on the way to the study site. By a couple weeks into the season, I usually have some great spots picked out where I can squat while the sun comes up and have a glorious, peaceful shit. Like fart said, squatting down feels way more natural for shitting.

 

[KittiesKorner]

one time when he was traveling from Moscow to Tbilisi, Stalin had his motorcade stop and he shit in the middle of the road because he was afraid the sides of the road were mined.

 

[HeHateMe]

When I am working in the field doing bird stuff, I shit outside ever day on the way to the study site. By a couple weeks into the season, I usually have some great spots picked out where I can squat while the sun comes up and have a glorious, peaceful shit. Like fart said, squatting down feels way more natural for shitting.

I guess, if you still have a problem trying to use buttmuscles to force your granola turds out of your body. I just relax a little bit and let gravity and density do its natural thing.

 

[Hbkrusso]

I save all my shits up for sundays because I have no time at work during the week to give a shit