The New Poop Thread

[Dogstar]

I can't poop at work. Sphincter performance anxiety.

I can't poop at work. Community restroom germaphobe.

 

[Shantz My Pants]

Remember the Titans, cause this one stinks after a flush.

 

[Chief Walking Stick]

I had lots of hot wings and beer last night. Bubbleguts are crazy this morning.

Pics soon.

 

[AuCN]

When I am working in the field doing bird stuff, I shit outside ever day on the way to the study site. By a couple weeks into the season, I usually have some great spots picked out where I can squat while the sun comes up and have a glorious, peaceful shit. Like fart said, squatting down feels way more natural for shitting.

Agreed. I do the same thing when I am out in the field geologizing. Sucks when it is constantly raining and yet, somehow, the black flies are still out in Alaska though. You dont want any exposed flesh. But squatting is the way to go!

We had the locals build a long drop when we were in the Solomons. They dug a giant pit and put a piece of plywood over it with a hole in it. It was like a porta-squatty.

 

[Rush]

Had a phantom dump this morning. Was wonderful.

 

[Nick80]

This seems apt.

Being a limey we don't talk about our business so you know shit happens and stuff.

 

[DC]

Amen!

The best is when you take a nice, clean shit in the morning. Meaning, you shit, wipe twice, and it's all clean down there. There is no better way to start the day, and I feel like, "Man, this could possibly be the best day of my life!"

I nearly always start my day with two big glasses of water. Roughly 36 ounces. I drink that in my first 15 minutes of waking up. It nearly always cleans me out. Try doing that before you eat breakfast. It will blow you away...

 

[Jester]

Recently, poop has become a bad topic of conversation for me. If I only took pics ....

 

[clonetrooper264]

I just pooped. Feels good man. Feels good.

 

[puckthefackers]

not sure what's going on w/ me but I haven't had a really good, satisfactory dump in a week or 2. Still go daily but lately been having to wipe forever. Diet hasn't changed, don't know what's up but I don't like

 

[winos5]

Wet wipes. So you feel nice and clean post dumpage. Also easier on the roids

 

[KittiesKorner]

I started taking epsom salt baths after my hemorrhoid surgery. They are the tits

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Wet wipes. So you feel nice and clean post dumpage. Also easier on the roids

This +1000.
I keep wet wipes everywhere. Scented.
You drop a load in a bowl and run that across your brown eye after a good wipe, the world is right again.

Nothing is as shitty as having to take a dump after a good, clean shower. It's like a bird crapping on your new car.

 

[Unannounced Fart]

Wet wipes. So you feel nice and clean post dumpage. Also easier on the roids

Yes, I use toilet paper and wet wipes in conjunction. Toilet paper first, then finish it off with a wet wipe. To use a baseball analogy, toilet paper is the set up man, and wet wipe is the closer.


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[Jester]

not sure what's going on w/ me but I haven't had a really good, satisfactory dump in a week or 2. Still go daily but lately been having to wipe forever. Diet hasn't changed, don't know what's up but I don't like

Yeah peanuts piss me off too. You wipe and they roll in your ass hair, it hurts. I recommend just going straight to the shower, be sure to wash all the peanuts down the drain though.

 

[The Bandit]

I hate when you have to take a huge shit at 3 AM after some heavy drinking and your asshole literally screams because it hurts.

 

[ruprecht]

I have not pooped in 28 years.

Occasionally a very dense highly concentrated pellet falls out of my butt. Does that count?

 

[1COBearsfan]

Got one a-brewing right now but it probably won't happen until early next morning right before I head to the gym.

I usually take a couple of shits a day. One at work just before lunch, approximately 3am on night shift. And another around 9:30am when I get home and just before I go to sleep. I have no problem with an away game either. If I gotta drop a deuce it's gonna happen no matter where I am

 

[botfly10]

Lol at this thread. Awesomeness. Good thread by the newbie from another board.

So much to say about shitting. The mere act feels so good, so relieving. When your shit flows like wine it feels so amazing. Sometimes it's the only peace and quiet I get. Father's out there can I get an Amen!?

When it flow like wine? wtf?

 

[botfly10]

Agreed. I do the same thing when I am out in the field geologizing. Sucks when it is constantly raining and yet, somehow, the black flies are still out in Alaska though. You dont want any exposed flesh. But squatting is the way to go!

We had the locals build a long drop when we were in the Solomons. They dug a giant pit and put a piece of plywood over it with a hole in it. It was like a porta-squatty.

You're a geologist?