Worst dates you've been on?

[dweebs19]

worst hookup experience was in college. One semester, two Russian exchange students, Inna and Nina come to the university. So just to make them feel comfortable and welcomed, we invite them to one of our international parties(mostly hung out with the international kids because they were the only ones who played soccer). So at the party, I really mesh and have a good conversation with Nina. To the point where I thought I was in love with her and wanted to marry her(I was young and naive). So, later on, I decide to try and make a move on Nina, she rejects my advances and says she wants to get to know each other first before she does anything.

I'm somewhat mad and still horny at this point. Inna was somewhat more flirty with me but we didnt really have any conversation chemistry, but i was like "**** it..she wants the D and I'm horny". So we go back to her dorm room and we start messing around. In the middle of us having sex, I call her Nina. So she stops riding me and looks at me and asks what I called her. I obviously lie and say "Inna". So she continues, not even 15 min later, I say Nina's name again. I don't know if she heard it the second time but I was starting to feel uncomfortable after doing that a second time. So I just wasn't in the mood anymore and just wanted to go home and sleep. So I faked an orgasm and pretended like I was done.

Apparently, my acting skills weren't that great because she didn't believe me. I said "no, no really...that was the best. I'm done". She then goes, "if it helps, you can think about Nina". I was like "nah..no need. I'm really done". So she hopped off and I went to the bathroom...she then asked to see proof. I told her I had just gotten rid of the evidence. It was just an embarrassing situation all around. Wish I could say that was the only time I faked it with her..Happened another time at a lake party. There was nothing wrong with her...I would say she was a 8/10. Blonde with blue eyes and C cup. I think it was just a mental thing with her from the first time it happened.

Came to find out later from her friends that she had heard me say Nina's name the second time around. She just didn't care because she wanted to stay in the US and she needed to find a person to marry. I ran into her in Cali about 2 years ago. At this point, I was already married and she had married some guy and divorced him after getting her green card. We talked for a little bit. Was a bit awkward but we just laughed it off. To this day, she still thinks i'm lying to her about faking it the first time. She doesn't suspect I also faked it the second time.

 

[xer0h0ur]

I wonder if Inna and Nina are still friends. Or were they never friends to begin with?

 

[dweebs19]

I wonder if Inna and Nina are still friends. Or were they never friends to begin with?

They follow each other on Instagram. I guess they are friends. Well, that doesn't really mean anything. I follow them on IG as well, but don't really talk to them that much. Just to update, the last I talked to them, Inna was back in Russia working for her dad's company. Her dad is pretty wealthy. Nina on the other hand is in the states working as a teacher and she runs summer art camps. Her family is kinda poor and she is looking to bring her mom and brother to the states.

 

[didshereallysaythat]

Atleast you didn't say something lame like "Imma gonna stick it Inna".

 

[xer0h0ur]

Imma and gonna are reduntant. Sounds better to just say Imma stick it Inna or if were going 90's with it "finna stick it Inna"

 

[airtime143]

I did not witness this, but saw the aftermath and spoke to a couple of people who were there-

Took a lady to a hibachi place. Although it was packed, there was one grill not being used.
Chatting up the bartender as I walked over for drinks, because I heard some chatter about the situation.
I ask the bartender "so, did someone really puke on the the grill?"
He says "yeah- The cook did the shrimp flip in to a guys mouth... it went down his throat and triggered his gag reflex. He puked an amazing amount of vomit all over the grill."
"You have never smelled something as disgusting as fried puke."

Evidently, the cook was a champ. He took the spatula, scraped it all in to a pile and covered it up with a metal lid.

 

[xer0h0ur]

That is fucking gnarly. Jesus.

 

[airtime143]

That is fucking gnarly. Jesus.

I would love to have seen the whole situation play out. Once in a lifetime.

 

[LordKOTL]

All of my bad experiences have came in my early 20's when someone has tried to hook me up with someone else, usually with an ulterior motive with respect to the woman I was being hooked up with, and I was just the one who was supposed to take one for the team. Needless to say I stopped accepting blind dates from friends or friends of friends very quickly.

The two most memorable ones are (in chronological order):

Buddy's wife (at the time, they've divorced and we're still friends) tries to hook me up with a friend of hers who was taking a break from her boyfriend at the time, and said buddy's wife didn't like her boyfriend so wanted to show her there are better men out there. So she arranges a date. I, at the time, young, and horny as hell figure it's a shot at more poontang, so why not. Buddy's wife forgets to mention 2 key things about said friend of hers: 1: She's hardcore Christian--which definitely clashes with my irreligious nature, and 2: She was about 7 months pregnant. Needless to say it didn't go well and we found each other at odds. Nothing happened, thankfully, and said woman got back with her boyfriend, but I still wonder what Buddy's wife thought to accomplish at the time--especially knowing that I really did not want kids at the time, much hell a pre-owned family.

The second time, about a year later, same buddy's wife tries to hook me up with a co-worker of hers who was pretty desperate, so she invites us both over for a Friday night for usual drinking and fun. Again, she fails to describe said woman...well, I think the proper term would be "beshemoth." I at the time was about 6-0, 165, and fairly lean. She was about 6-1, 235, hair was a mess, clothes were a mess, and was generally unkempt. Now, don't get me wrong, I like tall women (my wife is 5-11), But this would have been like dating the T-rex in "Orgasmo." Needless to say the night didn't go well as she kept trying to put the moves on me and I kept trying to be polite and rejecting her. The problem was, though, for the next 6 months she. just. wouldn't. leave. me. alone. Luckily, it didn't turn ugly.

Needless to say, after that I stopped accepting being the sacrificial lamb on blind dates after that.

 

[BNB]

Man, **** that After the first pregnant one, I would have told your buddy's wife to provide recent pics moving forward.

 

[BNB]

HAHAHA yes, a dead fish. Didn't do anything. She initially tried to ride me and I literally stopped her and said "what are you doing?" because she had no idea what to do. I ended up just doing missionary.

Now my best friend is dating her and he already cheated on her.

Weird stuff.

Hahahahaha same happened to me, but I wasn't as savage in my reaction as you were. I just politely told her that position doesn't really do it for me. The truth was, she was awful. I don't think I can even describe in words what she was doing, or what her body movements were. Some chicks really need to watch a little porn for educational purposes.

 

[Mitchapalooza]

Hahahahaha same happened to me, but I wasn't as savage in my reaction as you were. I just politely told her that position doesn't really do it for me. The truth was, she was awful. I don't think I can even describe in words what she was doing, or what her body movements were. Some chicks really need to watch a little porn for educational purposes.

yup, her body movements were like dafuq??? She had a kid too, you'd think she'd know some stuff in bed. smh.

 

[Tater]

yup, her body movements were like dafuq??? She had a kid too, you'd think she'd know some stuff in bed. smh.

Was she like Elaine dancing (from Seinfeld)?

 

[LordKOTL]

Man, **** that After the first pregnant one, I would have told your buddy's wife to provide recent pics moving forward.

I did ask if she was pregnant...live and learn. I did have a chat after that debacle with said buddy that I refuse to be hooked up by her after that. Didn't matter in the long run, he left her a few years later.