Any crazy ex stories?

[The Count Dante]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="BHP" data-cid="224832" data-time="1396392996">
<div>


Or:

Don't be a dumb turd and get married without some research first-- like get to know your mate. 


Easier said than done, right? </p>
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</blockquote>


 </p>


I am a dumb turd, so I avoid the trap. </p>

 

[winos5]

Some times you roll the dice and get a natural 20.   Other times a fumble (1).   I got a natural 20.   Had only known my wife 2 months, went out as a couple for 1 month.   There was some what of a language barrier at first as well as cultural differences.   After I rotated back to  the states we had a 4 months long distance relationship by mail/phone when I proposed.   Still going strong 21 years later.   Sure it's been a roller coaster at times but what relationship isn't?</p>

 

[LordKOTL]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="BHP" data-cid="224832" data-time="1396392996">
<div>


Or:

Don't be a dumb turd and get married without some research first-- like get to know your mate. 


Easier said than done, right? </p>
</div>
</blockquote>


Thats where I think stuff like not cohabitating before marriage can really ruin it. Religion be damned--it's better to find out about, and find out how to mitigate them *before* you get married.</p>


 </p>


In my case, I knew my wife nearly 4 years as a pen pall, then when it got serious over the 6 years of dating and engagement combined, my wife and I cohabitated for nearly 17 months total before we got married.  Another guy I know knew his wife for 3 months before getting married, had little precohabitation time, and 5 years later, they're in the process of a divorce.</p>


 </p>
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="winos5" data-cid="224861" data-time="1396449572">
<div>


Some times you roll the dice and get a natural 20.   Other times a fumble (1).   I got a natural 20.   Had only known my wife 2 months, went out as a couple for 1 month.   There was some what of a language barrier at first as well as cultural differences.   After I rotated back to  the states we had a 4 months long distance relationship by mail/phone when I proposed.   Still going strong 21 years later.   Sure it's been a roller coaster at times but what relationship isn't?</p>
</div>
</blockquote>


Can I just say that is beyond awesome and congrats for that?  I hope my wife and I can hit the 21 year mark!</p>

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="winos5" data-cid="224861" data-time="1396449572">
<div>


Some times you roll the dice and get a natural 20.   Other times a fumble (1).   I got a natural 20.   Had only known my wife 2 months, went out as a couple for 1 month.   There was some what of a language barrier at first as well as cultural differences.   After I rotated back to  the states we had a 4 months long distance relationship by mail/phone when I proposed.   Still going strong 21 years later.   Sure it's been a roller coaster at times but what relationship isn't?</p>
</div>
</blockquote>


Is your charisma 17 or better?</p>

 

[Tater]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="BHP" data-cid="224865" data-time="1396451252">
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Is your charisma 17 or better?</p>
</div>
</blockquote>


 </p>


It is now!    And +1</p>

 

[Tater]

I might have the record here. We dated for 11 years (lived together for 4+ years) before I finally broke down.</p>


Coming up on year 6 married in a couple of days.</p>

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Perhaps he rolled correctly to bend bars/lift gates to impress her. I would like the breakdown before nightfall. </p>

 

[winos5]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="BHP" data-cid="224865" data-time="1396451252">
<div>


Is your charisma 17 or better?</p>
</div>
</blockquote>


Only when I drink a potion</p>

 

[winos5]

Error</p>


 </p>

 

[winos5]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="winos5" data-cid="224871" data-time="1396452693">
<div>


Made my saving throw vs death magic to avoid the wrath of prospective mother in law</p>
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</blockquote>

 

[MassHavoc]

Come on guys... let's get off of Ex's.... cause I just got off yours.... or something. wait, is that good or bad?</p>

 

[The Count Dante]

Your ex is so fat she puts mayo on aspirin. </p>

 

[LordKOTL]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="The Deadliest Man Alive" data-cid="224887" data-time="1396461447">
<div>


Your ex is so fat she puts mayo on aspirin. </p>
</div>
</blockquote>


Your ex is so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "...to be continued..." </p>

 

[MassHavoc]

Come on people, both those were weak, we can do better than that.</p>

 

[The Count Dante]

Your ex is so fat she got arrested for 10 pounds of crack.</p>


 </p>


Your ex is so fat she broke her family tree.</p>


 </p>


Your ex is so fat, she is on both sides of the family.</p>


 </p>


Or perhaps an old USMC cadence...</p>


 </p>


Your Momma dont wear no drawers</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


I saw her when she took them off</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


She put em up on the line</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


Now the sun dont even shine.</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


 </p>


Refrain:</p>


Say diiiiiing dong, dinga-dinga-dong, yeah</p>


 </p>


Your Momma dont wear no drawers</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


I saw her when she took them off</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


She served up up on a dish</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


I could swear we was eating fish</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


 </p>


Your Momma dont wear no drawers</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


I saw her when she took them off</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


She flung em up on the wall</p>


[Ah ding dong]

Now the bugs cant even crawl</p>


 </p>


Your Momma dont wear no drawers</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


I saw her when she took them off</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


She put em on the backyard fence</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


And the neighbor's aint been seen since</p>


[A ding dong]</p>


 </p>


Your Momma dont wear no drawers</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


I saw her when she took them off</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


She left em laying in the head (toliet)</p>


[Ah ding dong]</p>


And now the Tidy-bowl man is dead</p>


[A ding dong]</p>

 

[MassHavoc]

I'm so confused.... If my momma don't wear no drawers...how did you see her take them off?</p>

 

[The Count Dante]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MassHavoc" data-cid="224909" data-time="1396476007">
<div>


I'm so confused.... If my momma don't wear no drawers...how did you see her take them off?</p>
</div>
</blockquote>


 </p>


You have WAY too many smarts for the USMC...</p>


 </p>


Who wants to hear: "My Girl's a Vegetable" ?! </p>

 

[MassHavoc]

hahaha say what now...</p>

 

[LordKOTL]

<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="The Deadliest Man Alive" data-cid="224910" data-time="1396476212">
<div>


You have WAY too many smarts for the USMC...</p>


 </p>


Who wants to hear: "My Girl's a Vegetable" ?! </p>
</div>
</blockquote>


Is that anything like the George Carlin *** Comatose joke?</p>

 

[jakobeast]

This went from nerd talk to yo mamma jokes. Neat!</p>