Dear Ymono

[bookjones]

You just confirmed my reasoning, the same stuff you think is delicious in a cookie, is awesome at scraping the skin off your face.

What's your fucking point ginger? So what, strawberries are all of a sudden no longer deliciously exquisite fruit because they are also an awesome skin exfolliator? You suck and I also think you know jack about skincare so pipe the **** down!

 

[MassHavoc]

I don't need to. My skin is flawless with nothing but soap and water. Don't be so jealous.

 

[jakobeast]

Look you fucking douchebag. How many times did I have to keep telling your fetid ass in Chat this past season to STOP leaving me fucking links to cheapass shoes? Get it through your dense plebian boy brain that I DO NOT WEAR CHEAP SHOES! Capiche? Use your fucking big boy reading skills numnut. Sheesh. Cheap shoes not only look cheap and I can spot them a mile away but they do more damage to your feet in the long run.

Get your eyes checked, grandma, that wasn't a link to buy those shoes, it was just a pic of cow print shoes.



Does you husband/boyfriend know you left the kitchen? Shouldn't you be making a pie?



And just for your smart ass mouth, I am gonna make you wear these.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,

What is the point of the oatmeal raisin cookie?



Love,

80 year old hippie.

To trick healthnuts into thinking they can eat a "healthy" cookie.



Look, if you're gonna get wet - you might-as-well go swimming.

 

[bookjones]

Get your eyes checked, grandma, that wasn't a link to buy those shoes, it was just a pic of cow print shoes.



Does you husband/boyfriend know you left the kitchen? Shouldn't you be making a pie?



And just for your smart ass mouth, I am gonna make you wear these.

No. How's about you check yourself trick. You sent links over in chat that were similar---just pics of uglyass shoes or even worse uglyass Goth shoes. {{shivers}}





Also? May your corpse rot in Dante's ninth concentric circle of hell for leaving me that abomination of a Crocs link.

 

[Ymono37]

Also? May your corpse rot in Dante's ninth concentric circle of hell for leaving me that abomination of a Crocs link.

Oh, he'll be much closer than 9.

 

[MassHavoc]

I've got a nice Croc store across the street in the Palmer House, want me to pick you something up?

 

[jakobeast]

No. How's about you check yourself trick. You sent links over in chat that were similar---just pics of uglyass shoes or even worse uglyass Goth shoes. {{shivers}}





Also? May your corpse rot in Dante's ninth concentric circle of hell for leaving me that abomination of a Crocs link.

Shouldn't you be making babies?



Maybe you should buy these then go walk on some sewer grates.

 

[bookjones]

Oh, he'll be much closer than 9.

Oh, no he won't. It's the ninth he deserves. . .for malicious, treacherous sins and since 9 is the worst and metes out seriously gruesome punishments, heh.

 

[jakobeast]

I've got a nice Croc store across the street in the Palmer House, want me to pick you something up?

Buy her one of every color.



And get those fucking buttons too.

 

[jakobeast]

Oh, no he won't. It's the ninth he deserves. . .for malicious, treacherous sins and since 9 is the worst and metes out seriously gruesome punishments, heh.

I need to get you this shirt

 

[bookjones]

I've got a nice Croc store across the street in the Palmer House, want me to pick you something up?

LOL. . .NOT. No thanks smartass, I pass buy that abomination of a retail shoe store every day myself. Burning tears brought on by the proximity of the FUG spontaneously start flooding my eyes until I can safely make it to the subway entrance.

Shouldn't you be making babies?



Maybe you should buy these then go walk on some sewer grates.

OMG, how did you know that patent leather next to calf hair is my favorite shoe texture! It's like we're bffs or something girlfriend. Now see those are a smidgen plain but are TOTALLY classic as a result. A girl really couldn't go wrong with those in the black.

 

[jakobeast]

LOL. . .NOT. No thanks smartass, I pass buy that abomination of a retail shoe store every day myself. Burning tears brought on by the proximity of the FUG spontaneously start flooding my eyes until I can safely make it to the subway entrance.









OMG, how did you know that patent leather next to calf hair is my favorite shoe texture! It's like we're bffs or something girlfriend. Now see those are a smidgen plain but are TOTALLY classic as a result. A girl really couldn't go wrong with those in the black.

I know what my bitches like.

 

[bookjones]

I know what my bitches like.

To piss on your legs.

 

[bookjones]

The turn of events in this thread has me ever more convinced that as I have always felt, this place needs a "Chick Things" thread because I know you ******* would enjoy the living shit outta playing with me in there about sundry shit like shoes and skincare. Y'all are like the BEST hockey forum boygirlfriends a chick poster could have. Smooches.

 

[jakobeast]

To piss on your legs.

Really anywhere will do.



Knit me a sweater.

 

[bookjones]

Really anywhere will do.



Knit me a sweater.

Figures your vulgar ass would get off on water sports.

 

[jakobeast]

Figures your vulgar ass would get off on water sports.

Better then you emetophiliac leanings.

 

[supraman]

The turn of events in this thread has me ever more convinced that as I have always felt, this place needs a "Chick Things" thread because I know you ******* would enjoy the living shit outta playing with me in there about sundry shit like shoes and skincare. Y'all are like the BEST hockey forum boygirlfriends a chick poster could have. Smooches.

I think a chick thoughts thread would be funnier. As men try to figure out wtf you are talking about.

 

[bookjones]

I think a chick thoughts thread would be funnier. As men try to figure out wtf you are talking about.

WTH? But I can't "SQUEE!" and "OMG!" over thoughts dude. Way to be a fun-sucker. These times with my guys is what I imagine having a gaggle of hirsute, thick, testosterone-y sister-wives is like.





Also, y'all will never figure it out and the sooner you accept this as a construct of the universe and therefore as fate the better off and more at ease with life you will be. It's not like learning Portuguese---there's no Rosetta Stone course you can take for Chick or even a basic translation course in Chick.





ETA: Excepting of course for simple-minded or single-faceted chicks. They're readable. Everyone else is of course elusive.