Dearest Mule

[klemmer]

That doesn't matter. The relevant question is "do you think I spit or swallow?"

Depends on what's going through my head at the moment.

 

[bookjones]

Dear Mule,

Why is bookie so angry at us males? such hostility

{{cough}} Bullshit {{cough}} Oh, please. You're just mad because I called you on your shit.

 

[~rabid platypus~]

P.S. St. Louis Cards Suck Too.

We can't hear you because we have 11 world series rings in our ears.



*Obviously butchered from Roy



**On a side note, those rings are beautiful in their simplicity



***Ok I'll play nice again

 

[supraman]

We can't hear you because we have 11 world series rings in our ears.



*Obviously butchered from Roy



**On a side note, those rings are beautiful in their simplicity



***Ok I'll play nice again

How many Stanley Cups? How many football championships? You know manly sports.

 

[supraman]

{{cough}} Bullshit {{cough}} Oh, please. You're just mad because I called you on your shit.

See so hostile

 

[~rabid platypus~]

How many Stanley Cups? How many football championships? You know manly sports.

0 and 1



Ok I digress

 

[The Mule]

Dear Mule,

Why is bookie so angry at us males? such hostility

Dearest Supra,



Bookie is not angry at you males. Bookie is merely made of fire. She burns, she rages, she is passionate and also she is wise. Sometimes a brilliant flame is dangerous, because it seems too hot, it seems too fiesty, radiates too much energy, but there is no malice. But, Bookjones does not suffer fools. Occasionally heat may scar the tissue of a passing male. Do not be alarmed. She is doing it all for the greater good.



Lovingly,



Mule

 

[klemmer]

Dearest Supra,



Bookie is not angry at you males. Bookie is merely made of fire. She burns, she rages, she is passionate and also she is wise. Sometimes a brilliant flame is dangerous, because it seems too hot, it seems too fiesty, radiates too much energy, but there is no malice. But, Bookjones does not suffer fools. Occasionally heat may scar the tissue of a passing male. Do not be alarmed. She is doing it all for the greater good.



Lovingly,



Mule

Bullshit.



lovingly,

klemmer

 

[supraman]

Bullshit.



lovingly,

klemmer

2nded

 

[bookjones]

Dearest Mule,



Why do some members like Supra, Mass, and Jacko (and I guess Klemm and Bubble now too) like to give me grief and act like they hate me when we all know I have said I love them like my own private gaggle of male sister-wives and we know they don't actually hate me? It's so passive-aggressive. Why do men expend energy being all passive-aggressive?

 

[LaurenNMU]

Dear Mule,



I decided to clean my room today and upon doing so I found a pair of shoes that i completely forgot i bought in the first place. Is this bad? Do i have a shoe problem? Or is it ok to be excited all over again about a new pair of shoes?

 

[The Mule]

Dearest Mule,



Why do some members like Supra, Mass, and Jacko (and I guess Klemm and Bubble now too) like to give me grief and act like they hate me when we all know I have said I love them like my own private gaggle of male sister-wives and we know they don't actually hate me? It's so passive-aggressive. Why do men expend energy being all passive-aggressive?

Dearest BJ,



I think if you look deep into your heart you'll find the answer you seek. But since I've had an advice column thrust upon me and am now an advice giving guru, I can tell you this: they are all terrified. Not of you, but of losing you. There, I said it. They don't want to express their innermost EMOTIONS. It's sort of like when you're five and there are two kids in a sandbox and one of them is poking the other in the soft flab of child-belly because they like the other one, but they don't have the words, the skills, the life tools to say it. It's a feelings-protector. To protect their love feelings.



Aggressively yours,



Mule

 

[supraman]

See there guys that's the problem, women think we are complex and have innermost feelings. we give bookie a hard time just to see what she says next.

 

[The Mule]

Dear Mule,



I decided to clean my room today and upon doing so I found a pair of shoes that i completely forgot i bought in the first place. Is this bad? Do i have a shoe problem? Or is it ok to be excited all over again about a new pair of shoes?

Dearest Lauren,



This is good luck. Any time you find a pair of beautiful shoes you forgot existed something else good will happen to you. Never question your footwear love. It stems from a place of honesty and truth. They were hidden because they weren't ready to be found yet. But now, they're going to be a part of your life and it will be good. You will have many wonderful years together. It's like finding a leprechaun or a unicorn or a three-legged dog.



Also, you should share more about the shoes, what they look like, because it's important to spread the love. On a cracker. A fashion cracker.



Stylishly yours,



Mule

 

[bookjones]

Dearest BJ,



I think if you look deep into your heart you'll find the answer you seek. But since I've had an advice column thrust upon me and am now an advice giving guru, I can tell you this: they are all terrified. Not of you, but of losing you. There, I said it. They don't want to express their innermost EMOTIONS. It's sort of like when you're five and there are two kids in a sandbox and one of them is poking the other in the soft flab of child-belly because they like the other one, but they don't have the words, the skills, the life tools to say it. It's a feelings-protector. To protect their love feelings.



Aggressively yours,



Mule

Hmmm. . .you've certainly given me something to think about. Nevertheless I think I prefer the stylings of those that just roll like they're my buddies like Ymono, phranchk, and Jam. The hostile ones should just be like TSD and just ignore me because indifference is at least coming from an honest emotional place. I don't like playing games. . .even with male sister-wives. . .well unless the games involve playing dress up and nail polish. You know how it is.

 

[MassHavoc]

WhoTF gives a shit about greeting cards? Don't facilely classify us all as being of the same ilk. I personally could care less about cards---I love gifts because I love STUFF! Stuff is tangible.

I'm sorry but I believe the name of this thread is Dear Mule... stop trying to hijack another thread! haha

 

[MassHavoc]

Hmmm. . .you've certainly given me something to think about. Nevertheless I think I prefer the stylings of those that just roll like they're my buddies like Ymono, phranchk, and Jam. The hostile ones should just be like TSD and just ignore me because indifference is at least coming from an honest emotional place. I don't like playing games. . .even with male sister-wives. . .well unless the games involve playing dress up and nail polish. You know how it is.

Jezz you are so needy.. just like I imagine a husband of a sister-wife to be...



By the way mule, this thread is hilarious.

 

[bookjones]

I'm sorry but I believe the name of this thread is Dear Mule... stop trying to hijack another thread! haha

It's not my fault you made a stupid generalization Ginger.

 

[MassHavoc]

It's not my fault you made a stupid generalization Ginger.

And you wonder why we're so hostile to you? Tell me about your daddy...

 

[bookjones]

Jezz you are so needy.. just like I imagine a husband of a sister-wife to be...



By the way mule, this thread is hilarious.

It's not neediness---it's called having standards and thus rolling like a demanding ***** dumbass. It's clear some of you assholes just aren't equipped with dealing with women who don't have overcooked noodles for brain matter and spines. DEAL mo-fo. But no worries---you guys wanted an advice "column" from The Mule and now you have it so y'all will learn PDQ what it's like to get schooled in truth to power on the regular.