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Dolphin
Friend's girlfriend and facebook
- Thread starter JimJohnson
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That mother.....
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Im not exactly sure how the conversation went but I do know that he went toe to toe with a great white or a dolphin or his penis. I think he thinks they are all the same.
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Speaking of punching women.....
A couple of months ago I met up with some of my motorcycle riding homies for a morning ride...Someone suggested we stop for some BBQ at this place we all like.
We get in line and right in front of us their is this really weird looking couple...
(Ole is gonna love this)
She
Had her head shaved, but not her legs
Wore a sun dress that showed her entire shoulders and arms covered in tats
Wore all this over the top African jewelry, yet was white
Had dirty feet
He
Was just as freaky, head shaved etc
So...They get up to the order counter right ahead of us, and WTF does she try to order in a BBQ joint? Veggie sammiches!
The order taker starts to grin and tells her that this is a BBQ place and there isnt a veggie in the house..She counters by saying that she knew it was a BBQ joint but thought they could whip up some veggie sammiches.
The cook says no..
All the while, my buddy, who is a giant..Like 6'6 280 lbs and is a gym rat. Is laughing out loud. This guy is built like nobody's business, and was wearing the typical Harley getup, a tight fitting black T-Shirt that showed every muscle he had. The women hears the laughing and turns to me ( as I was right behind her) and gives me the evil eye. I ignored her.. As she turns away, I turn to my buddy and give him the hand across the throat sign to STFU. Instead,he just laughs louder ( as I feared). Now she turns to me and says.." Dont laugh at me again"..I told her that it wasnt me laughing, and all I want to do is order my BBQ.
My Buddy, like the dick he is, then says to her.."I was the one laughing cause you and that creep youre with are 2 idiots for ordering veggie sammiches in a BBQ joint"
Now she is really pissed ..She walks back to him and starts to run her mouth. My buddy knows he has her goat, so he lays it on thick. ( the order taker is shitting his pants as is her BF)
She is now so mad that she hauls off to slap my pal. He grabs her hand in mid swing, and before she could blink he gives her a ***** slap that sent her sliding across the floor and landing on her ass..Everyone was like WTF!!! including me!. Her BF goes over to her, picks her up, and out the door they go. I was sure we were going to get tossed out, but instead the order taker takes our order. We should have left at that point. A few minutes later..Sure enough, here comes the cops with her in tow nursing a swolen half of her face..She points out my buddy. The cops ask him what happened, and he tells em
The cops say that she wants to press charges. My buddy says that he wants to press charges against her also. The cops go outside to tell her whats up. When she hears about her getting arrested also, she backs off and says she doesnt want to press charges anymore
I thought we were in the clear, but then the order taker jumps up and says he wants to press charges against both of them for disrupting the business, but the manager came over and overruled him
End result is nothing happened, but IMO, my pal was wrong..The guy is huge. Im 6'2 and he makes me look like a midget. Maybe Im old school, but even if she would have connected, I think he should have brushed it off and laughed at her. That woulda pissed her off even more
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Never hit a woman. Your pal is a dick that should have went to jail.
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I'm saying, I'm a little guy. What if a amazon woman comes at me and I'm scared for my life.
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Lie down and hopes she wants your body
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If they are over 300 pounds you warn them. If they continue go Jim Johnson on the *****. In my mind once they got over 100 pounds on you that is no longer a woman.
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My favorite teams
This is a new thing on the interwebz
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I feel like not many of you have encountered a black women that swings like a man. I grew up with my family buisness. It was a giant salvage yard in New Orleans that the worst of the worst frequently visited. You learn to protect yourself at a young age. I dont care if she is a women or not. Down there if they put their hands on you they are not just trying to make a point. The women would try to beat you to a bloody pulp as well. So, my theory has always been if you are going to act like a man. Get ready to get hit like a man. I have never hit a woman because they never took it to that extreme but if some woman I dont know is just pounding her fist into my face. Something is going to happen.
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What about this woman?
[video=youtube;mhjD19UJ_PY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhjD19UJ_PY[/video]
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I don't think anyone can say, "I'd never do that". If I'm honest, I don't know how I react to a woman punching me in the face. It's all hypothetical until the punches start flying.
I will say you never ever hit a woman if you don't feel your safety is threatened.
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My favorite teams
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Idk why u guys want to figure out when hitting a woman is cool, but i'm not a caveman so go figure.
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Whatever Marge.
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Not trying to figure out anything, I know what I would do and its within my rights. I dont hit you, you dont hit me. Simple
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