I am still full of sad. Still tear up and cry. But they aren't all tears of sadness. They are tears of joy. I take joy in the fact that I knew him. I take joy in the fact I was able to call him friend. I take joy in the fact he got to see his daughters grow up into beautiful young women. I take joy in the fact that he has a smart, beautiful, loving wife in Amy. It may be cliche, but he truly does live on in his family. I see him in both Nicole and Lauren. Is see his zest for fun and laughter in Amy. It is great to see.
The stories that have,and will continue to be shared bring me happiness. This man seemingly packed a whole lot of living into his all too short life. As I said in the toast at the gathering, he was and is a great example of what a man should be. We would be such a better place if we took his example. Call me trite, but I believe that 100%.
I try to live my life without regrets, but I do have a few. One of them is not getting to know him better. I am absolutely blessed to have been in Tom's orbit. I feel like a better person for just hearing him talk.
Another regret is not being able to help him build a backyard hockey/curling rink. The few times he talked about it he would light up, undoubtedly remembering the day he was introduced to it while ice fishing in the great white north. Watching those "beat off Canadians" curling and playing broom ball was a delight for him, pausing only when a tip up was tripped signifying a fish was on the line. I would have loved to curl with him. I doubt we would get very far as we would just collapse in laughter.
For those uninitiated, when Tom called you a beat off, or asshat, or any of a few permutations thereof, it was a term of endearment. It was essentially him calling you buddy or friend. I was lucky enough to be called almost exclusively beat off.
I realize I have gone on for a bit here, and I have said to Amy and Nicole that I feel a little bad for feeling so sad at Tom's passing. I feel it is a bit selfish of me for taking it so hard, when I wasn't even a family member. And therein lies the truth. That even though I wasn't a family member, even though I wasn't there every day, Tom had the ability to make you feel like family. He had the ability to make you comfortable. He was a great man, and I aspire to be that way as well.
This is where I would say goodbye, but I don't want to. This is where I say may the angels see you in, and while I believe they will and have, and I also believe that God wanted Tbird's honeybear recipes, and to hear his great stories, I don't want to just yet. And while there are more tears to come, they will be tears of Joy.
However, I will say this: I love you Tbird. I love you Tom. Thank you for allowing me into your life.
Also, can we update the first post with it?